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Idk what to do about this

Discussion in 'General (Off Topic)' started by ExtraStrawberry, May 22, 2020.  |  Print Topic

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  1. ExtraStrawberry

    ExtraStrawberry All Around Interested

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    Me and my best mate who’s a guy have been friends since we were 6 and we’re now 18. We’re part of a friend group where I’m the only girl and the others are guys. They’ve always treated me like one of them but they don’t know I like girls. Me and “the best mate” have always been the closest but he would flirt and act differently to me in private or over the phone but when with the others he treats me like one of the guys. I think he likes me and I don’t know what to do about it because I either come out and not know how they would react or reject him and the friendships ruined ?
     
  2. Iharos
    Bookworm

    Iharos Addictive Contributor
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    Hey there! :) 
    Have you thought of trying to get him to confess some interest in you? By that I mean that during one of your talks with him, after he says something that sounds like flirting or a compliment, you jokingly ask something like 'you sound as if you would like me'. He might now either say that he does not, and is only joking. All fine then.
    Or he says that he actually is. And your friendship does not need to end here at all. On the contrary. Be honest and tell him that you don't think of him in that way. Having a crush on a friend is something most people have had. We get over it and the friendships grow.

    About the entire group - I'd suggest something similar. Try to bring up a topic that contains some lgbt content. Maybe a friend of someone of the group came out? A celebrity you all know? They are your friends, they will speak their minds.
    If they are okay with it, well then you know that they will be accepting you. :) 
    If not - it is up to you to find friends that accept you all the way or to be with people that you share many years of friendship with but cannot get past a detail.

    Be true to yourself, that's what counts. :) 
     
  3. Kahlan

    Kahlan Well-Known Advisor
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    Iharos, you clever man.

    I agree, use subterfuge to collect vital information so that you can then blackmail....oh wait, sorry...so that you can proceed to the next step, whatever that may entail. Hopefully your group of friends, and this particular friend, will respect your feelings and orientation. Btw..I was in a similar situation, and it worked out pretty well, but there will be a "breaking in" stage where these friends may spend a few weeks/months being overzealous trying to hook you up. The sooner the better though. If this guy likes you, well..if he's in love with you then you may lose him as a friend, at least until you are replaced, which can take time. Give him that time, he will come around.
     
  4. ExtraStrawberry

    ExtraStrawberry All Around Interested

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    Blackmail that was funny .thank you for the advice
    --- Double Post Merged, May 23, 2020 ---
    You’re very wise and your advice covers everything I’ll try it
     
    #4 ExtraStrawberry, May 23, 2020
    Last edited: May 23, 2020
  5. Iharos
    Bookworm

    Iharos Addictive Contributor
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    Glad I could be of help! :) 
     

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