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I want to avoid coming out

Discussion in 'Gay' started by LittleBaltimore, Feb 20, 2018.  |  Print Topic

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  1. LittleBaltimore

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    I want to avoid coming out or being outed, Im 29 years old and Im getting to the point where people are starting to ask alot of questions. Nobody has seen me with a women in 10 years and I just hoped they thought I was getting some side action on the down low. My friends are starting to imply Im a queer and my grandmother bothered me about meeting a young women this weekend. My friends and peers are all engaged or married already, except one and I always suspected maybe he was gay too. Im not sure how much longer I can keep it up before it becomes painfully obvious and embarrassing.

    My single friend asked me if I was interested in moving to Arizona with him, we had talked about it years ago when we were in the Army together. I know there were alot of whispers in the Troop that I was gay, a friend of mine told me the subject used to come up often when I wasnt around. The friend that wants me to live with him is younger than me and I sort of took him under my wing when he showed up as a replacement so we got sort of close. He has also been single for the 8 years Ive known him, despite being good looking and nice.
     
  2. SomeGuyCalledJake
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    SomeGuyCalledJake Forever Bored
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    Why do you want to avoid it?
    Don't be embarrassed. Be proud!

    Move if you feel that it would be the best thing for you. Remember though, you can't run from your "problems".
    Would you hide the fact that your gay from the new people you meet in Arizona??
     
  3. LittleBaltimore

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    I just feel that my values don't line up with those of the gay community at large and I don't want people associating me with those values. If everyone knew I was gay they act differently around me, censoring themselves. My family would just ask me "why?" alot. I think that certain friends know (*1) and I haven't tried to hide it from them but Im not sure the common peasants on the street could handle it.

    If two grown men in their late 20's with good haircuts and nice clothes move into a little house together for the rest of their lives making leather crafts, we wouldnt need to come out, our homosexuality would go without saying.

    *1 Im almost certain they know, we've talked often about gay things and Ive talked about my first homosexual experience with these people.
     
    #3 LittleBaltimore, Feb 21, 2018
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 21, 2018
  4. SandyAndy

    SandyAndy Greenhorn
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    I’m a straight girl (though damn, guys together are real sexy), but I totally get this. However, many people are associated with a stereotype that don’t fit it. For example, race or cultural stereotypes. One can’t chose their race or where they come from, and these people may battle it everyday.

    Also, what about when you’re like 50? Think you’ll still be hiding it? Are you just putting off the inevitable?


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  5. LittleBaltimore

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    SandyAndy I figure if we move in together, we wont need to say anything. People will just understand that we're a couple of queers, without having the awkward conversation.

    In the mean time I need some way to deflect the questions. I'd like to meet a closeted lesbian so we can help each other.
     
    #5 LittleBaltimore, Feb 21, 2018
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 21, 2018
  6. SandyAndy

    SandyAndy Greenhorn
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    Ah, okay, I see. You’re buying time. Unfortunately, not a closet lesbian, though people think I am since I’m an engineer, I weld, and can fix cars


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  7. LittleBaltimore

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    Cool, my sister welds too, she isnt a rug-muncher either. Are you just gay adjacent? Fag hag? or have a gay sibling?
     
  8. SandyAndy

    SandyAndy Greenhorn
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    Don’t know what gay adjacent or fag hag means, please enlighten!


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  9. LittleBaltimore

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    Gay adjacent is just close to gay; like if you live across the street from the beach, you're beach adjacent instead of beach front.

    Fag hag is being a straight chick with all or mostly gay boyfriends. The male equivalent is lesbro.
     
  10. SandyAndy

    SandyAndy Greenhorn
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    Neither, I suppose. Or both, maybe? I’ve had two boyfriends who are now openly gay.


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  11. LittleBaltimore

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    You're not one of those straight girls that thinks every sissy boy this side of the Mississippi is in love with you, are you?
     
  12. SandyAndy

    SandyAndy Greenhorn
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    Bwahaha. Nah, one of the boys who’s openly gay now was anything but “sissy”. And no, I’m not generally one people easily fall for - gay, straight, queer, or anything in between. I’m an acquired taste.
     
  13. LittleBaltimore

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    Are you a midwesterner?
     
  14. SandyAndy

    SandyAndy Greenhorn
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    Yes, Illinois. (No, not Chicago)


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  15. LittleBaltimore

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    I fucking knew it, you midwestern girls.
    --- Double Post Merged, Feb 21, 2018 ---
    Do you have German heritage?
     
  16. SandyAndy

    SandyAndy Greenhorn
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    Yeah, yeah. Midwestern with a side of ranch.

    Obvi, I’m not helping ya.


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  17. SandyAndy

    SandyAndy Greenhorn
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    No German. I’m Swedish ancestry.


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  18. LittleBaltimore

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    You midwestern girls are too friendly and outgoing.
     
  19. SandyAndy

    SandyAndy Greenhorn
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    100%. I’m not shy at all. I’ll talk to anyone about the most random shit. Careful moving to Arizona then, if it bugs you, it’s a bunch of displaced midwesterners there.


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  20. LittleBaltimore

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    No it doesnt bother me, back when i was actively trying to look straight, I messed around with a handful of midwestern girls. Very friendly, not afraid to come on to a guy or make the first move, which was good because I was gay. I had quite a few straw headed prairie girls with strong legs and very handsy but sadly I had to break their hearts. You ladies are so strong, I guess you would be on a diet beef, corn and raw milk.
     

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