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Transsexual I think I'm Trans

Discussion in 'Transsexual' started by Taylor Graison, Feb 8, 2019.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Taylor Graison
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    Taylor Graison Greenhorn
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    My gayness really didn’t hit me until mid-life. I just thought I was Bisexual. For reasons other than that my wife asked me for a divorce and as I thought about my past it all came together. It hit me that in the last 35 years I never fantasized about women. Always men or memories of men. Since I was getting a divorce anyway, I didn’t think looking at porn was a problem. So I started watching and there was little interest in women. But then I saw it. A Vagina that was spread completely open. And I was repulsed to the point where I couldn’t believe I ever went down there. That was the turning point.

    But that’s not all. I’ve always thought of myself as feminine inside even though few people would expect that given my outside demeanor. I’m a bottom, I like to be thought of as the “girl” in the relationship. And lately I’ve noticed something else. When I look at an attractive woman and notice something about her like her legs, what I think about is that I’d like to have legs like that. I look at a woman’s physical features in the same way another woman would. I have an overwhelming desire to look pretty and sexy. I dream about wearing a dress and being desirable to men. Masculine men. I shave my legs and wear shorts and lip gloss and nail polish in public and I often dream of presenting as a woman. I want breasts. In fact, if I could afford the surgeries (including facial feminization surgery) I’d probably transition now even though I’m in my mid 50’s.

    So with all of this evidence, I’m guessing I’m trans.

    I’ve never talked to anyone who’s experienced feelings like this. What do you think?
     
  2. Carlita
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    Carlita I simply am not there
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    I
    I'm not trans but I do always ask. Do you feel you are in the wrong body gender wise?

    I don't know of there is another word you may be looking for. Thats just my opinion. We have a lot of people who identify as trans here to give you insight. Though, are you in the wrong body is pretty much the core of all other experiences related to it.
     
    #2 Carlita, Feb 9, 2019
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2019
  3. Andie1963

    Andie1963 Greenhorn

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    I’m 55 and I feel exactly like you do, I am going through the same change and needs.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
  4. Taylor Graison
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    Taylor Graison Greenhorn
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    I've never thought about being in the wrong body. Just that I want a different one. I must admit that this is a bit confusing. There's a bunch of words in this forum I don't know and will have to look up. For example, I did not know what cisgender was until I looked it up. And I'm not so sure what the difference is between Transgender and Transexual. But I'm learning.
     
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  5. Carlita
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    Carlita I simply am not there
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    It's a learning experience. Before I accepted myself as lesbian, I thought I was more a man than female. I never heard of LGBTQ terms. I'd look in the mirror and "feel" something missing. I'd present myself in stereotypic boy way which later I found out it's just being a tomboy. Ten years or so ago, I was speaking to my aunt. She is lesbian. She asked after conversation on gender topics if I feel man or woman I said I didn't know. This was early thirties.

    I guess later on I found the reason I thought I was a guy because only guys can like girls. But, at the time, I had no antigat stigma given medical issues taking priority. Now, I'm learning about the Gay Community. I don't feel like I'm in the wrong body but I wouldn't be surprised when I'm older I find out I'm Queer. Who knows.

    Try not to put yourself in a box. In my opinion, I can see why you would think transgender. Everyone's experience is different.
     
  6. Blacktgirlanimefan

    Blacktgirlanimefan Black lives matter and animation for life
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    Transexual=wants every and all surgeries that makes then female or male entirely.

    Transgender=feels that their gender is different than the one assigned at birth.
     
  7. Taylor Graison
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    Taylor Graison Greenhorn
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    Oh oh... I fit all the categories: https://born.uk.com/tell-youre-trans/

    Wish I would have recognized this while I was still young.
    The more I think about it the more "small" things during my life add up to this.
    And I'm not sad about it. I have a bit of trepidation but that's OK. I wish I was pretty.
     
  8. Blacktgirlanimefan

    Blacktgirlanimefan Black lives matter and animation for life
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    Well, now you know. Use the info to figure out what to do next.
     

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