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Lesbian I need your help. They don't understand me here.

Discussion in 'Lesbian' started by AnastasiaRus, Jun 11, 2019.  |  Print Topic

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  1. AnastasiaRus

    AnastasiaRus Lurker

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    Hello. I am here recently, so I did not quite understand what to do here on the site.And so I have a feeling for my English teacher. I'm 17, and she probably about 30 years. I do not calculate anything, I even want to communicate with her. I am from Russia, I apologize for my English. I tried to ask for advice in the Russian forums, but they started talking to me about promoting homosexuality.Although I will write you the same thing as there. I go to English and I was interested in my teacher. I have some feelings and it scares me. I talked to her a couple of times, I “accidentally” met her on the way home, when she was walking from work. I took her to the bus stop and we talked. It was already 3-4 times. I want to take her phone number, but this rank “I am a student, she is a teacher” reduces everything to nothing. I think it looks strange when a person who goes to class and you have a relationship only as a teacher and student, and then suddenly he asks you for your phone number.I, probably, if I were in her place, I would just politely refuse and not give a phone number. I only count on communication. I gave her flowers, she was taken, the feeling that no one ever gives her flowers. I hope you do not judge me here and tell me what to do. I hope that you will not write to me, as in the Russian forums, that I am “small, I don’t have a mind, I don’t have a normal guy yet, as a meeting, so all this nonsense will come out of my head” and you will not catch me in something. Thanks if you help me with the advice.
     
  2. Carlita
    Creative

    Carlita Reliable Advisor
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    That sounds like a tough situation you're in. There are many nice people here from all over the world. You're good.

    I used to have a english teacher I had a crush on in high school. After spanish, I'd sit by her when class let out. I can't remember of we talked. When I took her class, I found out she was getting married. She invited her class to the wedding but I didn't go. I should have. I guess I was jeleous. I think if we exchanged email addresses it would have been fine. Some teachers, nowadays most, communicate with their student through email. It's a tiny tad less formal but of course respectful.

    With the phone number thing, I don't think that's a good idea for the reasons you mentioned. I'm sure if you asked her to talk with you before or after school you could say you got feelings for her and keep it short. She may let you know the student/teacher issue but at least you're not guessing and she has a heads up so she won't be uncomfortable.

    It sounds like that may work. It depends on the teacher. Some teachers feel it's crossing boundaries to get anything like flowers from their students. So, that's a head start.
     
  3. Adkins

    Adkins Lurker

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    I think most of us had been in your position. You don t have to worry , maybe in the future your feelings will gone . If I were you ... maybe I will keep it for myself and wait for feelings to gone . Now , depend on the situations , if you really feel something from her you should try . Also , from I heard .. Russian people are not so open minded and I understand that because I m from a country with very close minded people . So , take care !
     
  4. San_Junipero

    San_Junipero Greenhorn

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    Hi Anastasia :) 

    First of all, welcome here! Don't worry about people judging you, that's not going to happen so you're safe here. You can write all that's on your mind and that's been bothering you here without any prejudice. And I congratulate you on your courage to deal with your feelings and come face to face with them :) 

    Now, when it comes to your feelings towards your teacher, that's a very slippery slope for many reasons. First of all, you are underage and I truly doubt that anyone older than 30 would get into something with a minor. It's very risky nowadays and can often be misinterpreted. Second - not only you are a minor, but she's your teacher. So teachers are always responsible for their students to some extent. You are not a child, but still, she is your teacher and there will always be that sense of hierarchy where your relationship is professional to educational purpose.

    Besides, by telling your teacher about your feelings, you are risking to put her in a complicated situation. Same goes for asking her for her phone number. You didn't say if your teacher could be gay or bisexual and if she has shown some interest in you, but even if she did, it's not likely she would get involved with one of her students. You are her student, you are a minor, therefore it would be a criminal offense.

    Also I don't know how's the situation with lgbt rights in Russia, but from what I've gathered in the news - not very good. So if your teacher is homophobic, you are also exposing yourself to a possible negative scenario including her negative reaction.

    So my advice would be to have a little patience. First, wait until you're 18 and when she's not your teacher anymore. That makes the whole situation a lot easier. For now, I would just try to be nice and friendly but not too pushy. You can strike a conversation now and then and see how that goes. If she's not too open about it, maybe it's for the best to leave it as it is.

    Unfortunately that's probably not the answer you were hoping to get, but bearing in mind all the facts, it's what I'd do. Russia is well known for not being the most gay friendly place so I would hate you to get in trouble just because of your feelings.

    I wish you all the best and keep up the good work with your English, you're doing great! :) 
     
  5. mike300

    mike300 Well-Known Contributor
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    dont worry, i have passed the same with my teacher...if u are in love with her it is very sweet, and if u think she will respond , continue to try...maybe u will ssuceed or maybe u will overcome it and continue your life...good luck!
     
  6. AnastasiaRus

    AnastasiaRus Lurker

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    Yes, I think you are right. This is the only reasonable solution. If I take any measures, it is better after adulthood.
     

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