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I need help

Discussion in 'General (Off Topic Lounge)' started by Mr.Kanto, Sep 4, 2019.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Mr.Kanto
    Depressed

    Mr.Kanto It's Okay To Lose People, But Never Lose Yourself
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    Hey everyone,
    Recently I have been feeling extremely low and unhappy with all my life choices, as well as the people I've hurt with my presence. I feel that everyone would be better off if I wasn't around anymore. I'm not sure what I need anymore or why I'm choosing to post this, but here I am anyway
     
  2. AudryLeigh
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    AudryLeigh Proud tGirl
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    You're not alone Mr. Kanto,

    Hey. You're OK. At right around your age, people tend to go through an inventory of their life (we do it at later times too). These days it's way too easy to feel like a failure. And the [supposed] hurt you cause by being around is barely a tiny fraction of what it seems (really). You chose to post this because you needed to talk to someone -- apparently me. We're all genetically programmed to go through a serious self examination, right around your age. BUT!!! The program changes slowly, and is now far out of step with reality. The standard that we all judged ourselves by was high -- but it was easy. Have a job (or 2), own a vehicle, outright (probably new), have a nice place to live, all the insurances, a career path or plan... But it was easy. Find a good job in 36 hours or less. Find a second job in another 24 (all while going to school). Easy back when I did it (I graduated High School in 1965), but totally impossible today -- totally impossible. Yet your brain is subconsciously going through this evaluation of you[rself] that's still based on the standards of my day. Things like that can't change that fast. You get the standard from TV and your parents and especially your grandparents. It's simply not even close to possible these days -- it's just not. The fact that you are savvy enough to post here tells me that by today's standards, you're doing just fine. I'm usually around. Pm me any time.

    Hugs,
    Audry
     
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  3. Montana Meredith
    Supportive

    Montana Meredith ♥Love who you are♥
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    Sammy...I know life is rough but you are loved by me,family and other...If you ever need anything i'm here for you always.I love you
    *hugs and kisses*
    -MD ♥
     
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  4. Mr.Kanto
    Depressed

    Mr.Kanto It's Okay To Lose People, But Never Lose Yourself
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    Yeah I've never thought about anything of that, you might be right about of all this, but I also feel that compared to myself, everyone seems to have everything together and a set gameplan for the future. Meanwhile, I have numerous problem and a pipedream for the future
     
  5. Purplexx93

    Purplexx93 Curious Explorer

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    Everything happened for a reason. Instead of blaming yourself on the past decisions... Think about it positively and learn from it... If you hurt anyone unintentionally then fix your mistake to feel better. Explain and defend yourself so other can understand you better. I hope you get over your problem. Please don't be shy we have to help each other.

    Sent from my LYA-L29 using Tapatalk
     
  6. Mr.Kanto
    Depressed

    Mr.Kanto It's Okay To Lose People, But Never Lose Yourself
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    Thank you for the advice, it's a bit difficult to move on from these mistakes when the people in my life seem to be only able to bring those mistakes back up to the surface frequently
     
  7. Jo A
    Innocent

    Jo A Active Veteran
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    Blaming and hating oneself is an easy thing to do and is hard to correct.

    For 44 years I blamed myself for my fiancé's death. It was with a lot of love from a friend and a year of therapy (more to go), that I now know I am not responsible (still hard to say) and for the first time in 45 years I have my darkness is gone and death is not my friend.

    Again, I got this far with the love of a friend and a therapist who made me work hard and gave me homework that made me really see that I am a good person.

    So believe in the good in yourself and learn to love yourself (hard to think about and even harder to do but it does work).

    You are a good person and we need good people here.

    I wish you well and offer you love and peace - Jo
     
  8. Mr.Kanto
    Depressed

    Mr.Kanto It's Okay To Lose People, But Never Lose Yourself
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    You're a good person too Jo, I do find people saying to talk to others about these issues, but everytime that I do, I feel like a burden upon them, so most of my time I remain silent. Believing what you have said to me, I will try to not focus on that feeling and express myself more freely
     
  9. Purplexx93

    Purplexx93 Curious Explorer

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    Apologize to them and make the best you can if the mistake was terrible. If they still can't accept that I advise to move on because living with negative people will distroy you and depress you. I suggest you don't make enemy with anyone but make a formal relationship with negative people; how are? Fine? That's it.

    Or

    But I to be honest if you hurt them too much... Try to fix it as much as possible so they know you regret it. It's on you to decide know.

    Sent from my LYA-L29 using Tapatalk
     
  10. Mr.Kanto
    Depressed

    Mr.Kanto It's Okay To Lose People, But Never Lose Yourself
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    See I made tiny mistakes, but to these people, it was doomsday. I've tried apologizing and fixing the friendship, but they weren't willing to help fix it. I've tried to distance myself from them as well, but they find ways to worm their way back into my life. I feel like a change of scenery is the only way i can be free of their negativity
     
  11. Purplexx93

    Purplexx93 Curious Explorer

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    Sorry for you... Wish you the best!
    Stay healthy

    Sent from my LYA-L29 using Tapatalk
     
  12. Mr.Kanto
    Depressed

    Mr.Kanto It's Okay To Lose People, But Never Lose Yourself
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    Thank you for trying to help Purplexx93
     
  13. Montana Meredith
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    Montana Meredith ♥Love who you are♥
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    Sammy,
    Life is hard.I know that but we all have things we regret.Try to build the friendships over.Life is to short to worry about the past but we can fix our mistakes and move on or waste life in worry.

    You are a smart,caring,loving individual whom can always give great advice but it's others time to help you and to give advice...

    We are both still very young and ruthless but we are going into the world very soon.Just know i'll always be there to hold your hand in the dark times and good times.

    Love who you are Sammy and be unique.Dare to stand out in a crowd full of copycats.
    *hugs and kisses*
    -MD♥
     
  14. Mr.Kanto
    Depressed

    Mr.Kanto It's Okay To Lose People, But Never Lose Yourself
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    Thanks MD, I guess I can try to rebuild again
     
  15. Montana Meredith
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    Montana Meredith ♥Love who you are♥
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    It takes the stronger person to relies the pain..
     
  16. AudryLeigh
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    Me too
    That's potentially the sign of a dangerous personality type, especially if these are the the people who won't accept an apology or let things drop. You may well need to distance yourself from them, and you may have to be a hard ass about it. Good luck, and keep posting -- we all care about you and want you to be able to get past this.

    Hugs,
    Audry Leigh
     
  17. Mr.Kanto
    Depressed

    Mr.Kanto It's Okay To Lose People, But Never Lose Yourself
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    Thank you very much for your kind words Audry, I do believe that I made some progress yesterday in distancing myself from those people
     
  18. AudryLeigh
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    I'm glad. I want you to keep making little bits of progress -- even tiny ones. I'd really like it if you'd keep me posted on how you are doing. A PM maybe. And I'm always available to help.

    Hugs,
    Audry Leigh
     
  19. Mr.Kanto
    Depressed

    Mr.Kanto It's Okay To Lose People, But Never Lose Yourself
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    I will definitetly keep you updated on my progress
     
  20. LovePolarBears
    Big Balls

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    I would strongly recommend you buy this book. I bought it for myself and I feel it has helped me a lot. It cost me only $9 from Powell's bookstore. Very cheap. Seeing a therapist is great, too, but that costs money which I don't have much of.

    "Beat Low Self-Esteem with CBT" by Christine Wilding and Stephen Palmer
    https://www.amazon.com/Beat-Low-Self-Esteem-Teach-Yourself/dp/0340991518
     
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