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I need an advice

Discussion in 'Transgender' started by Skakavac23, Nov 7, 2018.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Skakavac23

    Skakavac23 Lurker

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    Hey I joined yesterday and I thought I should put this here.
    So it's a pretty long story but I seriously need an advice.
    I met a girl online that's 18 (I am 14) on an account where am represented as a guy and I never thought that it would come to this. We started chating and all that and she told me she lives in the same town. So we decided to meet irl. And I have short hair so I guess it somehow worked out. And we became friends after couple of months. And one day I kissed her and we started a relationship. Today is our 6 month and I still didn't tell her anything.So I am thinking should I tell her? I would've done it long ago because she really doesn't deserve me pretending to be someone (That doesn't exist). So she has heart problems and her parents are divorced and her grandfather died couple of days ago (she had a special relationship with him). And I waited for that to pass. And now her friend that she knows 18 years got into some problems with mafia and he killed a guy in front of her. And they killed him yesterday and a lot of other things. So she is unstable but she keeps on telling me how she is lucky to have me and I just don't have the courage to tell her. She tried suicide before, and she told me that if she loses me too that she can't take it no more. And I am really worried if she does that. So I don't know what to do... It hurts me everyday. And I am really happy with her and I do love her but I just can't lie to her anymore. We were talking about LGBT and she told me like "I have nothing against that but I surely like guys" so if I tell her I guess idk... Before I met her I was lonely had a lot of friends actually but none real. When I needed someone they were never there. And she is always there. She came from another side of town when I was a just a little sad. And I guess I don't want to lose her but it's not right to lie her.
    I think I said everything, any advice would help.
    Thanks☺️

    Edit:She also thinks I am 18. ( I look really older )
     
    #1 Skakavac23, Nov 7, 2018
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2018
  2. AudryLeigh
    Curious

    AudryLeigh Proud tGirl
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    Well Skakavac,

    You have to tell her -- you're right, you should have told her long ago. You are also putting her in some degree of legal jeopardy. She's of age age you're not, potentially opening her up to charges of contributing to the delinquency of a minor. You're just not in a good place here. It sounds like she's emotionally dependent on someone who doesn't exist -- an 18 year old boy. I really don't know what to tell you. You do have to tell her, and the longer you wait, the worse it's going to be. it's probably going to devastate this poor girl but you have to come clean with her, and you have to do it right now, not later.

    The best you can hope for from this is that it comes slamming home to you and everyone who reads this thread, just how important it is to disclose everything, right away. You're in an awful position, but you put yourself there. Problem is, she is also in an awful position, but she didn't have anything to do with it -- she's an innocent bystander, but she's going to be blind sided by an emotional landslide, and you've got to trigger it, and you've got to do it NOW. I'm sorry, but there is no good way out of this.

    For the benefit of everyone, you should tell her at the earliest possible opportunity, and post back here, letting us know what happens. I know this is harsh, but you should let yourself be an example for everyone of just how important it is to come clean about who you really are, long before things have a chance to get anywhere near this out of control.

    I wish I could be my normal comforting and consoling self, but this situation just doesn't allow for that. I wish you luck, but I have to emphasize that you must tell her, and you must do it absolutely as soon as possible.

    With high hopes that both of you survive this emotionally,
    Audry Leigh
     
  3. Molko
    Caffeine Fix

    Molko You can't kill me. I'm not alive.
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    I read this and it made my stomach flip tbh - I did something similar at a young age and I can look back and understand why but it does not make it acceptable.

    The thing is, you have to tell them. You are under the age of consent - legally that can bring to her a number of legal charges let alone potential social repercussions. If she gets such charges then the impact on her for the rest of her life could be immense - sex offenders register, employment, housing etc Also if things potentially went physical then that’s statutory rape on her part and there is such a thing as ‘rape by deception’ which you could potentially be accused of. What you are doing, is wrong. You are being deceptive about who you are. The relationship is also built on dishonesty.

    Also, it honestly sounds like so much intense drama. You are fourteen. She is eighteen. Yes, four years people may argue isn't much difference, when you are older it isn't. But it really is during developing teenage years. You'll find that people now may seem to be the life and death of your existence - the reality is that people will come and go. Everything in life is impertinent, the one person you have to live with is yourself so thats who you need to concentrate on. Stay in school, learn a skill, date people who know the real you. And let her be free to concentrate on herself, not get co-dependent on a lie.

    Trust me, this is from someone who left home at 14, was with a much older woman as a teen - i'm writing this knowing that the fourteen year old me wouldn't listen to this advice either but heck i'm saying it so i can know that i said it, it's up to you to do what you will with it.

    I think you already knew that, please do make sure you have support. I wish i could have been a little less blunt but the situation is serious and i really can not lighten that. So best of luck, I sincerely hope you do the right thing and find resolve.
     
    #3 Molko, Nov 9, 2018
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2018

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