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I love my 'straight' best friend. How do I know if she feels the same?

Discussion in 'Lesbian' started by Destinyzacon191, Jan 6, 2017.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Destinyzacon191

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    I have a lot of details, but I'll keep it as short as possible.

    Basically I have this friend. She's my best friend, and I don't know how or why, but I am in love with her. I typically don't get this sort of attraction with females, in fact she is the only female that I would be with as of now. I want to be with her, but I'm unsure if she feels the same. I haven't come out to anyone. I'm probably overthinking because of how badly I want it, but here are some things that have happened.

    So basically, she doesn't explicitly show that she could be attracted to females, in fact she has had multiple boyfriends. I used to live in her town which is 2 days drive away from where I live now, that's how I know her. However I moved away, we stayed friends and then she was having issues with her family so she actually moved all the way up here to live with my family and I. That's one thing, why would she move all this way, when she could've moved in with her dad, or her many other friends she has in her hometown? Then, about 6 months ago after living here for around 2 years, she left. I miss her so much, but I get to see her in about 2 weeks! :) 

    Whilst she was living here, she would just do things like resting her head on my shoulder in the car, resting her head on my lap and asking me to play with her hair, coming into my bedroom to sleep in my bed with me when she had her own bed and bedroom. I understand that these are things that normal female friends do, but she doesn't do it with any of her other closest friends, and neither would I, I'm kind of a quiet person and would never do anything like that with any of my other friends, and she knows this. I let her do these things because I enjoy it.

    I remember very vividly a few years ago, we were just making stupid videos at the kitchen table and out of nowhere, she grabbed my face and gave me the biggest kiss on the side of my face, I know friends do this but the way she did it, it was like she had a huge urge or something. I didn't do or say anything, I just played it off.

    This is going to sound ridiculous, but once I was lying in bed with her and I was trying my hardest to fall asleep, and she was staying up just playing on her phone. I took this as an opportunity and just cuddled up to her, kind of making out to be half asleep and unaware of what I was doing, just to see what she would do. She let me cuddle up, and she actually sent me a snapchat which I seen the next morning which was a picture of me all snuggled up with her and she had written 'cute' as the caption.

    She has been texting me, calling me, and trying to get my attention a lot lately. Normally I have to make a huge effort to talk to some of my friends but she just wants to talk non stop lately... But so do I.

    She has said how she dislikes the thought of some lesbians, but so have I, just to try and hide the fact. Could it be possible she's doing the same?

    I'm going to my old hometown where she lives in about 2 weeks, she's coming out with me and my friends one night to drink, and she gets ridiculously out of hand when she drinks. Should I try something subtle to see if she plays along with it?

    I'm not sure. I'm probably just overthinking, but I know she doesn't do most of these things with any of her other friends. Let me know what you think.
     
  2. Destinyzacon191

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    EDIT: she has also been sending me a lot of suggestive snapchats recently like of her in a towel after a shower. She usually never does anything like this. She's also been sending me photos of herself on snapchat when we are having a normal conversation on it and it seems as though she is trying really hard to look her best for me in them. This is also unusual.
     
  3. naturegal
    Zorro

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    I would just be honest about your feelings. It seems like she might like you in that way too.
    --- Double Post Merged, Jan 6, 2017 ---
    I don't think normal friends do all of those things...
     
    #3 naturegal, Jan 6, 2017
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2017
  4. Youset
    Meh

    Youset Greenhorn
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    Well, close friends might even make out without it being a thing, so I wouldn't recommend you getting your hopes high.
    Basically, it's because you're in love with her that you pay attention to every little detail and interpret it as potential attraction, you might have other people around trying to seek your attention but you wouldn't even notice since you're fixated on her.
    Now she already stated her opinion about lesbians, that can be interpreted two different ways: either she noticed how into her you are and kinda sat limits, either she was feeling you out. If you want to know for sure, bring back the subject-- in a subtle way of course.
    Otherwise, trying something while she's drunk is not going to help determine her feels towards you, she might play along with it just because she's "out of hand".
     
  5. angel70
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    angel70 The Old Guy
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    Sometimes if you just leave out the word "lesbian," love can find a way. I think it's quite clear that she loves you, although perhaps not in exactly the way you love her. Since she's comfortable having physical contact with you, why not just try pushing it a little further than usual -- if it makes her uncomfortable, she'll back off. If not, keep going.

    Alcohol can make this approach a little easier, but I recommend doing without it. If you become more intimate, nobody can blame it on being drunk -- everything that happened is because you wanted it to.
     

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