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I know I’m Aspec, but confused on where I might fit

Discussion in 'Asexual & Grey-Ace' started by Halfelven, Jan 8, 2021.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Halfelven

    Halfelven Lurker

    Jan 8, 2021
    +0 / 0 / -0
    Hi! Recently I’ve been questioning a lot, and have spent a lot of time determining my sexuality/gender. For the most part, I’ve been successful at figuring it out, but I’m fairly certain I’m a-spec and could really use some help figuring out where I fit.
    I know I experience sexual/romantic attraction, but I have never really been in relationships. I know of a total of three people who have ever expressed even minimal attraction to me, one of which I dated for like a week in sixth grade, more out of an inability to say no than actual attraction. Generally, I don’t experience any sort of attraction to people I’ve just met, but sometimes I will get intense crushes on people I’ve been near to(not necessarily talked to/interacted with) after a short period of time. These crushes are usually quite intense, and last for a very short period of time. I genuinely did not know that aspec people existed until last year, and I also had no idea that people experienced physical reactions to those they had just met because of sexual attraction. I legitimately thought that people making references to that were just dramatizing how aesthetically attractive someone was to them.
    I also experience attraction to people after knowing them for a long time, which would suggest that I was demi, except for the fact that I also experience short-lived attraction to people I barely know. In both case, the attraction manifests in similar ways, although the attraction to people I’m close with is easier to deal with. So far, I have not experienced anything between these two extremes.
    To further complicate matters, most of the crushes I experience are towards fictional characters. I remember the first time I felt attraction it was toward a character, and these attractions occur fairly often (before this, despite not knowing that aspec people existed, I thought I just wasn’t going to feel attraction, ever, so it really stood out to me). This would make me think I’m do to sexual or something similar, but because no one has ever reciprocated my feelings irl, I have no way of knowing if my attraction would remain once a relationship became a possibility.
    Does anyone have any advice/experience a similar thing? Thank you!

    Edit: I forgot to mention this initially, but on the rare occasions I have encountered visual erotica (I haven’t really sought it out, but I have encountered it), whether still or video format, the only reaction I have felt is somewhere between mild discontent/apathy and revulsion. I’m more likely to feel completely repulsed when the subject is a real human, rather than some sort of drawing/sculpture, and I’m more likely to have a completely apathetic reaction if it’s a character I know and like.
    #1 Halfelven, Jan 8, 2021
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2021
  2. Fuzzlez

    Fuzzlez Great Learner
    Beloved Member

    Nov 27, 2020
    +44 / 0 / -0
    A lot of that sounds like demi, and you may also be fictosexual. I hope this directory helps you. I see you as a blend of ficto plus demi or flux, but you know yourself best.


    Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

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