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Transsexual I have some Anal Sex Problems

Discussion in 'Gay' started by Ta'shawn Hunte, Nov 14, 2019.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Ta'shawn Hunte

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    I have a huge problem of trying to relax during when I have anal sex with my boyfriend , the reason why I have this problem is because never really had anal sex with anyone before so I want to know if their any kind of training I can do as bottom also the materials I need.

    Like for example should I buy a butt plug to his size If anyone have a solution to this problem please let me know so I can better educate myself to be a better in bed partner.

    Sent from my Z982 using Tapatalk
     
  2. Carlita
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    Carlita Aww. How adorable
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    I haven't had experience in those sorts of things; but, I'll say do what makes you feel comfortable and safe. Here is some information for that you can take advantage of https://uwm.edu/lgbtrc/support/relationships-and-sex/ I don't know how much advice anyone can give on this site; but, in general play safe and go slow.
     
  3. Ta'shawn Hunte

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    Thank you very much for your support.

    Sent from my Z982 using Tapatalk
     
  4. Inara Pan

    Inara Pan Greenhorn

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    Take things one step at a time. You can first "play" with something considerably smaller than your partner's size, like a candle for example. Get used to the diameter, then proceed to something a bit larger until you're comfortable with it all. If your partner truly cares about you then he'll grant you some time for you to prepare and be perfectly relaxed and in fact, eager for beautiful sex with him. Everything must be as pleasurable for you as it'll be for him, otherwise there's a problem. Go at your own pace and enjoy every minute of it all.... I know firsthand how absolutely wonderful it can feel, but also how frustrating and even hurtful for both the mind and body if done hastily or wrongly <3
     
  5. Thespis
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    Thespis Blithe Spirit
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    I agree with what Inara Pan has said, except for the idea of using a candle.

    Noooooooo! A candle could break and get stuck up inside you, necessitating an embarrassing trip to your local hospital. Likewise, never insert into yourself any domestic item that's not specifically designed for safe anal play.

    In order to train your sphincter muscles to relax and get used to penetration, you should buy a set of graduated butt plugs. These are made of non-toxic materials and are designed to be safe to use, easy to clean, and they will NOT get lost inside you. :) 

    I will send you a private message containing links to suitable products.
     
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  6. mike300

    mike300 Active Veteran
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    hi there!! do practise with smaller toys at first and day by day u will see and feel the difference...then try bigger ones ...
     
  7. Corvus
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    Corvus Agender chatterbox
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    This goes for any hole, really. If it's not a finger or a proper sex toy keep it outside your body. I still remember a friend in high school who was dead scared of buying a sex toy in case her parents ever found it so she'd just use whatever she could get her hands on. One day she had the brilliant idea of using a broomstick...she was having so much fun with it that only after she was done did she realise something was wrong...well, I don't have a vagina but I'm pretty sure a vagina full of splinters does not feel particularly good...So yeah, her parents had to take her to the hospital and she had to explain how in the world she got in that predicament.
    Long story short, she should have bought a dildo...
     
  8. Thespis
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    Thespis Blithe Spirit
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    Next time the postman needs me to sign for a parcel, I shall grab my phone, hold it to my ear ...and these are words he will hear as I open the door. ;) 
     
  9. Corvus
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    Corvus Agender chatterbox
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    Don't forget to offer to tell him the whole story...I'm sure he'd be delighted.
     
  10. BiBiLife
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    BiBiLife Forever in debt to your priceless advice.
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    Hi Ta'shawn Hunte ,

    Absolutely consider getting a quality dildo, ideally in a range of sizes to get you accustomed to the feeling. And remember to use plenty of lube whenever you try insertion.
     
  11. RuneBeau
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    RuneBeau Polyromantic Demisexual Trans Guy
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    In addition to what others have said, you could also get a tapered toy. I have a unicorn horn and tentacle from Bad Dragon that I used to help me size up to larger toys.
     
  12. Morfar
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    Morfar (10+13)/2=11.5%(225)=26amps
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    Buy a bigger plug, wear it lots,
    I am Asexual, but if I had to have sex with another human, it would be a man. And due to my situation, I would be bottom.
     
  13. MetalHeadJames1968

    MetalHeadJames1968 Better late than never
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    First - “slow and steady wins the race”, it’s important to not rush it. You’ll get there when you get there and it’ll be amazing! Second - perhaps this should have been first, but I can’t stress this enough: LUBE, LUBE, and more LUBE. And if you feel like it’s plenty, add a little more. You can never use enough lube, it’ll help prevent injuries and allow you to slowly move the plug, toy, etc freely without it “sticking to the side”. I prefer silicone lube these days. I use to use the water based Astro. . . . . you know the one, but all water based lives get too sticky for me and need to keep adding more and more. The silicone is a little bit harder to clean up (a hot shower and some regular good soap or body wash will do the trick though), and it lasts a long time, does not get sticky, and feels very smooth. Several brands out there (I have my preferences, but you get get them on amazon or your local sex shop, and even your local drug store/pharmacy chain). And Third: have your boyfriend or partner help you...doing it together is a very intimate experience and will not only (temporarily) take the place of actual intercourse, it will build the anticipation and excitement for when you are ready and make it even better.
    Good luck and have fun! LUBE LUBE LUBE
     
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  14. Thespis
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    Thespis Blithe Spirit
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    I second everything MHJ has said, with the proviso that silicone-based lube should be avoided if your butt plugs are also made of rubber/silicone materials, cos it will react with the toy and make it go all melty and potentially toxic. Euuurrrggh.

    Simple solution: don't use silicone toys! ;) 
     
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  15. RuneBeau
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    RuneBeau Polyromantic Demisexual Trans Guy
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    Or use condoms with your silicone toys and always make sure your lube is condom safe, some aren't.
    I prefer a water-based gel/clear c*m lube. It cleans up easy, is safe to use with everything, doesn't need to be reapplied, and the thickness of it adds some cushion.
     
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  16. Morfar
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    Morfar (10+13)/2=11.5%(225)=26amps
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    I am still looking for that perfect one,,

    butt plug that is.
     
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  17. Jessica45
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    Jessica45 Bisexual mtf. Slightly insane
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    I have a huge amount of experience with butt plugs and dildos but none with the real thing. Sort of the opposite. At this point I’m afraid my butt will remain virgin territory Oh well, as long as I have my toys
     
  18. Morfar
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    Morfar (10+13)/2=11.5%(225)=26amps
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    Same here
     
  19. Morfar
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    Morfar (10+13)/2=11.5%(225)=26amps
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    Plugs are like pants,,, they get too small in time
     
  20. Tyrannosaur64

    Tyrannosaur64 Lurker

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    Try a hot bath before hand! Dildos work great and lube is highly recommended.
     
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