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I feel lost and I don’t know what to do

Discussion in 'Transgender' started by dahli, Jan 24, 2020.  |  Print Topic

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  1. dahli

    dahli Lurker

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    I’m a 15 year old Male, which is a stressful time. GCSEs, exams and whatnot. So I’m not sure whether what I’m feeling is because I’m under a lot of pressure or that I’m genuinely feeling these things. I came out to my parents and friends last year as bisexual, and it made me so happy for the longest time. My parents were hesitant at first but now they’re pretty much okay with it. But there’s just something missing. I have days where I’m so happy as a boy and fine in my own skin, and others where dressing femininely and the idea of long hair and wearing makeup is all I want. Sometimes I even wear blankets and towels on my head as a wig and it makes me happy. Some days I really feel like I should be a girl- and that I shouldn’t be wasting my life hesitating and holding back what I want. But I just can’t bare the thought of telling my mum or going through the process of having to make that big change. It’s scary. I keep wanting to tell my mum that I want to get in to makeup and maybe that could progress in to me coming out fully, but the fear of rejection terrifies me. I’m also not sure going through a lot of physical change would be good for me right now considering exams are months away. I just feel so empty sometimes and so distant from who I am and who I want to be. If anyone has any advice as to what I should do or how I should go about this I would really appreciate it. Thank you.
     
  2. Corvus
    Chatty

    Corvus Agender chatterbox
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    Hi and welcome to the family. I can understand your situation; you shared a big revelation with them and feel lucky they grew to accept it and you're afraid if you drop another bomb on them it'll be too much.

    I felt the exact same when I had a talk with my wife about being agender. She didn't react badly but I felt like she didn't fully accepted it. After a few months when I thought things were doing well I realise I'm also asexual...shit...
    As you can imagine I was dreading that conversation because I didn't know if it was going to be too much for her to deal with but thankfully it went well and it was a huge weight off my chest...

    I think honesty is always the best policy; you know your parents better than we do so the best way to approach the subject will be up to you but I would recommend opening up to them, especially since they've been receptive in the past.

    I also recommending you exploring your gender identity first and be sure of what you're going to tell them; if you sound unsure it's more likely they will not be convinced either.

    Either way, and regardless of how you plan to move forward with this, we're here to support you.
     

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