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I don't know who I am and it is driving me crazy!

Discussion in 'Lesbian' started by Katie Kate, Jun 30, 2020 at 7:19 PM.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Katie Kate

    Katie Kate Lurker

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    Hi, I'm 19 and I don't know who I am.
    From 16 I understood that I was queer as I was attracted to girls, so I simply assumed that I was bi. As the years went on I realised that I definitely liked girls but was questioning how much I liked men. From when I realised I liked girls it made sense, I could imagine myself being with a girl (sexually, romantically and in long term relationships,) but I have realised that I cannot imagine the same things with men. In fact, even the thought of doing anything other than hugging a guy I get freaked out. The issue is that I will still see a guy around that I think are attractive, but it not a "he's hot I want to be with him" it's a "he's hot." and I will continue on with my day. This is what is making me go crazy, I don't know if this makes me bi, or if it's *normal* for a lesbian to feel like that. I don't know if these thoughts are admiration of the man's beauty or attraction.
    I'm someone who needs to know what things are and to be able to give a title or identification to it in order to function. I don't know if I'm bi or lesbian.
     
  2. unicorndice
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    unicorndice Helpful Member
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    You can still be a lesbian but acknowledge or notice that some men are attractive without wanting to be in a relationship with them or have sex with them.
     
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  3. Katie Kate

    Katie Kate Lurker

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    Thank you, this really helps!
     
  4. ToniLes87
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    ToniLes87 Addictive Contributor
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    I'm a lesbian but this doesn't mean I don't find some men hot. I'm just not attracted to them at all. It's more like "if I were a man I would like to be like him" kind of feeling. I hope this helps :) 
     
  5. Akchaya
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    Akchaya Greenhorn

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    hey katie kate. Just to let you kow i feel the exact same. A great part of being queer is that there is no specific label, and that is really helpful since i am always constantly changing my mind. sexuality is a really confusing to wrap your head around. I'm guessing even if 20 years go by, i will still be unsure of my sexuality. I would love to talk to you about identity crisis, so ,if you want, reach out and maybe we can help each other with how to deal with this confusion!!!
     

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