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How to tell if a girls gay??

Discussion in 'Lesbian' started by Karen2743, Jan 10, 2019.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Karen2743

    Karen2743 Lurker

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    Yo I’ve had this crush on a someone but I can’t tell if she is bi or a lesbian. We have been friends for a year and I’ve grown feeling for her. She shows mix signs like leaning on my shoulder but she dose that to guy also. I don’t know if she’s going it because we are good fiends or idk.
     
  2. Thespis
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    Thespis Blithe Spirit
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    Hi Karen and welcome to the forum! Old cis bi bloke here.
    I'm not best placed to offer advice on your situation - all the bi and lesbian women I know are out (and if any of my other friends aren't out to me, I wouldn't know!). I'm sure somebody useful will be along soon with some good ideas. Meanwhile, make yourself at home. :) 
     
  3. Spooky Spoon Wizard
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    Spooky Spoon Wizard Genderfluid Druid

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    hey karen.
    so uh
    in my experience, the only method of finding this out that actually works is to just ask her.
     
  4. Thespis
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    Thespis Blithe Spirit
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    Well it's been a bit quiet round here today, I'll do my best to help, Karen.

    First thing I'll do is ask you what stage you're at re. being out. Are you...
    1. Not out at all
    2. Out to a few close friends
    3. Out to lots of friends
    4. OUT! :D 
    The reason I ask is to find out whether there's any chance that this girl is already aware of your sexuality. Obviously, if she is (and, given that you've known each other for a year, presumably is relaxed with the fact), then even if she's straight she's not going to be mortally offended if you should tell her that you like her.

    If she's not aware of your sexuality, then I'd say that if you want to stand any chance with her, you probably ought to come out to her (in as casual a way as possible - don't make a big thing out of it) and see how she responds. I know, I know... easy for me to say! :D 

    Anyway, get back to me on the out/not out thing and let's see where we can take it from there, eh? :) 
     
    #4 Thespis, Jan 11, 2019
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2019

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