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How to prepare mentally to go back to a job you left after a year and a half?

Discussion in 'General (Off Topic)' started by Hatelove, Oct 17, 2020.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Hatelove

    Hatelove Reliable Contributor
    Beloved Member

    Mar 25, 2016
    +136 / 0 / -5
    I left my job because of a life situation and I told the manager about it. I asked her if I can come back once I figure a solution and she said email me. I am too nervous to send this email for many reasons:
    1- The job work environment was toxic
    2- I have a history I made a friendship and it fell apart and I blocked this coworker after I left and she is close to the manager. The manager actually asked her opinion before she hired me the first time so now the odds are against me to get rehired. ( I blocked her because once I got hired she started to act jealous and when I was about to leave the job she literally said to me that she was jealous because I am younger than her and showed up with enthusiasm to work and she thought I was going to get her fired)
    3- I don’t even know if the manager remembers me
    4- I did not keep in touch with anyone because I was going through a lot and now I have no idea what happened after I left. This job has a small community and I am worried about the gossiping
    5- the city is not the friendliest even though most clients were nice with me I had four who tried to physically attack me and my coworker because we are minorities Even though my coworker was a big man he was afraid when that happened and had to runaway from them and said he was worried about getting punched in the face
    6- I tried other jobs and other cities and nothing worked and if I don’t get a job soon I wont be able to pay my rent right now I cannot even afford bills and food so its a tough situation financially
    7- my connection with my family fell apart. This city reminds me of them and its kinda painful to stay here.
    8- I feel all over the place emotionally and for the first time I cannot think logically

    I don’t know how to send an email to her I feel like I am nervous
  2. the-other-dave

    the-other-dave Dedicative Contributor
    Beloved Member

    Jul 2, 2020
    +115 / 0 / -0
    First of all, your co-workers should all be grateful to have a returning member of staff who already knows the job and doesn't need much training; this means less stress for them compared to taking on an entirely new employee.

    And it's not as if they are taking back a member of staff who was sacked for inappropriate behaviour or ill conduct - you left because you needed time to deal with personal issues, and so they should feel grateful that you've chosen to come back.

    If there is a colleague you had a complicated friendship with, just be sure that you both agree to keep the relationship professional, and that you avoid your conversations becoming too personal, so stick to talking only about work related stuff. Try to avoid banter about your personal and social lives.

    Times are difficult right now, with many businesses closing down and people losing jobs all over the place, so nobody should judge you for returning to a job you weren't too thrilled about in the first place. Sometimes we just have to make the best of what is available to us.

    As for your safety, if the job involved working with the public, then the company should be taking measures to ensure you have minimal contact with the public because of covid, so ideally you should be safer in the work place now than you were a year ago.

    I left my previous job for similar reasons - I was being left to work alone for many hours, and I felt at risk from aggressive and abusive people. Luckily, I'm in a situation now where I don't need to return to that job. If I ever did go back to that job, I would only accept a lower position, so that I would never have to work alone. It would mean less hours and lower pay. In hindsight, I could have opted to have a demotion instead of resignation, but I quit the job out of anger and disapproval towards the company.

    So before returning to work at this place, I would say make sure you research all of the company's policies and any updates they've made since you left, and consider any options that may be available to you - including other managers you can contact in case you're not satisfied with how your manager is handling certain things.

    I'm sure these incidents of violence you've mentioned must be quite traumatic, but you will now have an idea of how to handle the situation if something similar does occur again, and don't be afraid to speak openly with the manager and colleagues about any apprehensions you have about the work.
    #2 the-other-dave, Oct 17, 2020
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2020
  3. Jayme82

    Jayme82 The Legend of LGBT
    Moderator Beloved Member

    May 10, 2017
    +2,443 / 0 / -3
    If you want to go back to your job and you need to Because if your situation sometimes as hard as it may be you just have to do something unpleasant to get back to where you need to be believe me I understand I have social anxiety and I worked in a toxic work environment it was hard for me to do my job because of my boss I unfortunately had to stay at that job to live I wish you the best of luck in gaining the strength you need to send that email

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