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How to handle sleepovers for kids?

Discussion in 'For Parents or Guardians of LGBT+ Children' started by proud parent, Jun 25, 2019.  |  Print Topic

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  1. proud parent

    proud parent Lurker

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    I'm looking for advice from others who have been down this road. My 12 year old daughter came out this year in her 6th grade year of school. We support her and we are glad she is confident and comfortable being who she is. My question is about sleepovers with friends.....I don't know how to handle them. My daughter has asked for sleepovers with both boys and girls. Before we knew she is gay we would allow her to have girlfriends over for sleepovers but now that I know she's gay I'm questioning how to handle this. She has also recently asked to have a sleepover with boys. What guidelines have worked for you and your family?
     
  2. Larry45
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    Larry45 Amateur bisexual
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    I would just make sure there is some level of supervision. I was only 13 when I first experimented with a boy. I was very likely an outlier and it’s extrenwly unlikely your daughter would do this , but checking in now and then couldn’t hurt
     
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  3. Barefoot
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    Barefoot Casual Observer
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    You may have been an outlier then but you'd be mainstream now. It starts a lot younger than 13 these days and it often goes further than expirimentation. Puberty happens earlier and explicit knowledge of even the nuances of sex abounds. The best way to handle todays kids in regard to sex is to talk openly with them about it. If they want to have sex they will, whether they have sleepovers or not.
     
  4. Iwilldance

    Iwilldance Look! There's a girl dancing slowly in the shadow!
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    Let her have friends over. She is 12, they are 12. Be open in a way so she will tell you. I had my first experience with a boy when i was 15. It was great. I felt safe. I told my mum the same day.
    Make sure to talk with her so that she will not fo anything she doesnt want. And know she is probably just doing the same thing with those girls as you were when you were 12... talk and be friends. All my friends were boys when i were young, and i had sleepovers with them with no problem. I dont see the problem here.
     
  5. Larry45
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    Larry45 Amateur bisexual
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    I agree. I was speaking euphemistically when I said experimentation
     
  6. Guarani
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    Guarani Addictive Contributor
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    What´s wrong with experimenting with sex with girls? She can´t get pregnant over that and it is not like if they don´t spend a night together, it won´t happen.
    Teens masturbate and experiment with sex. It´s natural and normal.
    It´s the parents that have a hard time accepting that they do.
    Ask yourself WHY .
    It´s this whole tabu and "not under my roof" thing that drives teenagers to unsafe sex in cars and what not what she thinks of it and guys and stronger girls running the show because they have more guts and know most girls are under ecucated and don´t say no.

    If you are a supportive parent, as you say you are, you ask questions in a curious and friendly way to find out who she likes and if she has any experience yet with kissing or going further and have her totally sleep over and have people sleep over at your place.
    Good education and knowing what they are at, because you actually freely talk about it, keeps kids from getting in trouble. Not trying to pretend sexuality doesn´t exist or trying to keep teens from it.
     
    #6 Guarani, Aug 3, 2019
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2019
  7. Freaky.Fiona

    Freaky.Fiona Dedicative Advisor
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    I'd be fine with both at that age, just reasonable boundaries set and general supervision. I'd be more concerned with boys, for obvious reasons, so stricter for them for a 12 year old. Eventually she's bound to do things with them sleepover or no, if she's interested. For girls, I'd be more relaxed and if they happen to experiment a bit, no real harm and may make their sleepover more of a fun and useful (to learn more about themselves, their sexuality, etc) experience for all concerned (how many we talking about here, like one girl or boy or multiples?).
     
  8. BiZous
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    BiZous Curious Explorer
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    i would make sure :
    • she knows and has easy access to contraceptive means,
    • she knows she can always say no if she does not want something, anything,
    • she knows about all illnesses one can get when having sex without protection (valid for hetero or homosexual relationships) and give her adequate protections
     
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    #8 BiZous, Aug 11, 2019
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2019
  9. Freaky.Fiona

    Freaky.Fiona Dedicative Advisor
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    Yes, all the safety issues need to be addressed. Maybe I just made assumptions here that this would be done. lol
     
  10. Doglover44

    Doglover44 Addictive Contributor
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    How did the sleep over go ?
     

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