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How do you know you fell in love?

Discussion in 'General (Off Topic Lounge)' started by AimizuK, Jun 11, 2019.  |  Print Topic

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  1. AimizuK

    AimizuK Hot Cookie
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    How do you know when you fell in love
    ? How did you realise it, if you ever fell in love with someone?
    Im not sure if I am in love with someone and I would like to clarify my feelings. How can I do it? What are the symptoms? This is a little summary of my current feelings about this person:

    -I am a bit obsessed with him, I cant stop thinking about him, how is going, what is he doing right now... if he cares about me...
    -I cant stop checking if he is available on social media, and I have the necessity of talking to him everyday, even when I never used to.
    -I have the need to get his attention constantly.
    -I feel a bit jealous if I think he gets someone in his life...
    -I find him a bit attractive (specially his bluish green eyes). This is happening only since two or three months ago (I never looked at him in that way before). But I dont have the necessity of doing anything sexual with him. Its strange... and a bit contradictory?
    -I have a dependence feeling I guess. I dont want to lose him, never.

    Could you help me? When do you know if its love or only friendship or just attraction? I am so confussed, do you think I feel something more for this guy?
     
  2. BiBiLife
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    BiBiLife Whatsername
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    Because I want to spend my life with her. Whenever I imagine my future she is in it. Even though I find other people sexy, I can't visualize being with them. My thoughts always circle back to her. Her name and face are constantly in my head. I want to make her happy. She's everything to me.
     
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  3. Jo A
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    44 years ago I was at my first queer party and saw Mary across the room and she had the most amazing sparkle in her eyes.

    When I approached her, she asked me what do you want little boy.

    When I told her I got to look into her eyes and not get lost, she told me it was a wonderful line.

    I told her it was not a line and from there our friendship grow into love.

    I asked he to marry and she agreed. We are happy together and the two became one.

    It was the most beautiful love and our time together for the year we had before her death has filled me for me for a life time.
     
  4. angel70
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    angel70 The Old Guy
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    There are many different ways to fall in love. You certainly have stumbled upon one of them.

    The ways we love different people, by the way, are different; it's impossible to love two different people in exactly the same way. Love can last a week or a year or a lifetime: but even in long-term relationships, love changes and evolves over time. The one thing all love has in common is that the presence of the other makes you happy.

    As for the sexual part, it's not absolutely necessary -- but it is something that often cranks up that happiness factor.

    One more thing: we fall in love with our perception of the other, and there's no guarantee that perception is especially accurate. The antagonist of love, all too often, is reality.
     
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  5. AimizuK

    AimizuK Hot Cookie
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    Thank you for your sincerity.
    I am not sure. Some days I feel I love him and some days its different.
    Its my best friend so I am confused with the feelings. I guess its just friendship, because we were togueter by years, and now he is far away (we still writing eachother). Im not sure if its the loss, which confused my feelings.

    I dont have any sexual interest on him (I still admit he is very handsome, Im not blind), but I know I would be happy just being at his side, sharing our lifes as best friends. He is like a brother for me, I dont need to be his lover or something like that. I feel like I just have an high dependence on him, I just dont want to get out of his life

    Do you think its just nostalgia? I tend to live more in the past than in the present.
     
    #5 AimizuK, Jun 12, 2019
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2019
  6. Madison maguire
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    Madison maguire Greenhorn
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    I was next to her and it was the first and only time I have felt complete peace no fear about the past or future the first time I would of rather been somewhere else. I knew then that I liked her and I know I loved her because I am scared of anyone hurting them and just want them to have a great life with or without me.
     
  7. angel70
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    angel70 The Old Guy
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    Clearly, he was filling some of your basic emotional needs for a long time, and there's nobody else doing that right now. It's natural that you really miss having him around -- you may need two or three different people to make up for his loss.
     
  8. BookLover1981

    BookLover1981 Greenhorn

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    He went to a different city to spend time with someone else as we weren't officially dating yet but that was the night I realised I loved him. When he came back the next day, he admitted that he couldn't sleep the previous night because he missed me so much. That was the first day when we told each other "I love you" and now, almost 5 years on I'm still crazy over him.
     
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  9. AimizuK

    AimizuK Hot Cookie
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    Yes, I feel you a bit, its like that expression, "You dont really need something until you lose it". Then its when you realise you cannot live without it or wont be the same anymore. Happy you could have him again.
     
  10. Chloe Heys

    Chloe Heys Just a confused kid
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    i know i fell in love because everything that he is, everything that we are, is brilliant. he's basically just me, but male. and i love that. he has my sense of humour, my outlook on life, everything. i look at him, and it feels like home. we have issues, like everyone else, but he's willing to work on them with me, he's willing to stick by me while we sort through the clusterfuck that is life. we communicate like adults, and if there is something wrong we confront it as 'us against the problem' and not us against each other. we tackle things as a partnership, and im so very grateful for him. he supports me in my issues, and i support him with his.
     
  11. flame

    flame Greenhorn
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    That sounds like you are in love to me, I have the exact same feelings/symptoms about someone - I just can't stop thinking about him and when I know he is going to be there I make sure I look my best, which is stupid because unfortunately I have fallen for a straight guy!
     
  12. AimizuK

    AimizuK Hot Cookie
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    Yes, thats what I think, but I am not sure. My feeling are so confusing now, I never felt like this before. A single call of him can make my day happy when I am a bit depressed. Yesterday he send me an audio message and I was crying of happiness, literally.
    Today we met alongside other friends, and before he came to my house, I felt a bit nervous. I also make sure I look my best, as you wrote, when before I never cared about these details. His smile, his eyes, just give me life...

    I just have the need to be with him, to spend my day with him, to talk with him, to feel important to him. Im not sure if is because our old friendship or I am starting to feel something new about him.
    I just dont want he forgets me.... thats all I fear. I have the necessity of being important to him.
    All I know is I love him, not exactly the way I do, but I know I love him.
     
    #12 AimizuK, Jun 15, 2019 at 4:28 AM
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2019 at 4:30 AM
  13. Jo A
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    If love was easy, it would have no meaning.

    The fact you are willing to open your heart and soul to someone says a lot about you.

    I hope you find and get what you wish and need but never stop being you and know being hurt does not mean failure, but success in trying.

    Hug and Peace
     
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  14. AimizuK

    AimizuK Hot Cookie
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    God, just ignore all I wrote here.
    Yesterday we met alongs side other friends. I could not stop looking at him on all the night. I find him soooooooooooooooo handsome, I never looked at him on that way. Im not sure what Army did with him, but please he looks amazing. He is much more thin and muscular, and arms very tonified. And short hair as I always liked. I feel so guilty everytime I look at him in that way. And his blue eyes and his lips are so hypnotic. I feel very strange when we are togueter. One part of my mind just shouts "Stop looking at him, you cant get nothing from him", but I just cant control the other one.
    Im pretty sure If I come out now to him, he would realise I fell in love for him.

    Becasue I think now I can admit I fell in love with him, Its not dependence or me just grapplying to an old friendship. I like him in all the ways, and I know I cannot get nothing from him.

    What did you do when you fell for an straight friend?
     
    #14 AimizuK, Jun 15, 2019 at 11:21 PM
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2019 at 11:25 PM
  15. Jacquelyn

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    Your description fits my understanding of what to be in love means. At least, thats what I felt except the fact that I was not jealous, because I knew she and he didn't belong to me and there was no explanation happening at that point.

    Anyway, I think you are in love, and I hope it's mutual.
     
  16. Lexi Gal
    In-Love

    Lexi Gal Hot Cookie

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    Transitioning you have a lot and I mean a lot of insecurities about yourself when you go out. Two years ago when I was approached by my now boyfriend I thought I was actually in some sort of fog when he was talking to me. Here was this straight guy talking to this Trans as I told he right upfront that I had gone through my transitioning from MtF transition and he was still sitting across from me engaged in conversation. Right there I cannot say I was in love, but right there I have to say I had so much respect for this guy that I knew that I could fall in love with this guy in no time.
     

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