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How Do I Get Her To Shoot Her Shot

Discussion in 'Questioning & General LGBT' started by california_dove, Sep 19, 2020.  |  Print Topic

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  1. california_dove

    california_dove Enthusiastic Advocate
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    I perused the threads, tried to see if anything like this has been addressed.

    I’m 28, Cis Woman, Bi (LL)

    I hate how this plays into that stereotype that women/femmes won’t make a first move but I have a frfr crush on a lesbian. We stay flirting and she’s said some bold shit but she won’t actually make a move.

    So last night my burlesque friends did a TikTok live and she commented like... tell _____ I said what’s good and ask her when she’s leaving the straight life behind.

    I was watching that live and just stunned. Does she really think I’m straight? I’m so into her confidence and swagger that it’s weird to think I should need to throw myself directly at her.

    We’re in the same social circle, but I’d like any objective feedback. Things are different because of the pandemic so it’s not like we’re gonna easily run into each other at a party or a show anytime soon.
     
    #1 california_dove, Sep 19, 2020
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2020
  2. Tzap

    Tzap Dedicative Advisor
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    Hello Cali

    Not an experience I've had but I have read similar on this forum somewhere, so all I can do is try recycle what I've understood.

    It could be just as simple as you being bi may stir up some sort of biphobia in others, maybe she has had emotional hurt from a past bi encounter, maybe she sees you as wanting to experiment and doesn't want to be the test. More maybes than anything and here's another. Maybe she doesn't know how into her you are and maybe she ain't looking for fun but more a relationship.

    I reckon your best bet, seeing social distance and all that, is to just talk to her one on one and say how you feel,
    you say she says bold shit but doesn't follow up..do you do the same,
     
  3. california_dove

    california_dove Enthusiastic Advocate
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    That’s a hella thoughtful reply and I really appreciate it.

    Even if it’s borrowed wisdom, it does hit. It seems sus that she really thinks I’m straight but she could potentially think I’m, uh, touristy. Which I’m not. And I have been non-monogamous since we met, which is probably another red flag. But that’s not my identity, you know. I know and love plenty of polyamorous people but in my case it’s just been coincidence.

    I know I should be brave and just do... something. That just isn’t what I’m used to.
     
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  4. Jayme82
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    Jayme82 The Legend of LGBT
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    I agree just tell her how you feel if she's bold with you I'm sure you can say whatever comes to mind some people lack social cues they don't understand how others feel so they need a push I've had to say something gos girl before and we were flirting like crazy he said I had no idea you liked me as more than a friend.

    Welcome to our community nice to meet you Dove :)  Btw I love burlesque I remember seeing Dita Von Teese in a giant Martini glass and I was in love lol i must say you do look like a burlesque performer in your picture :) 
     
  5. california_dove

    california_dove Enthusiastic Advocate
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    Tysm I do miss performing and emceeing!

    Pretty sure I’m just gonna slide into her DMs tomorrow. No idea what I’ll say but it will probably involve humor.
     
  6. california_dove

    california_dove Enthusiastic Advocate
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    Update: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED we’re spending the weekend together at the beach!

    So excited!
     
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  7. Jayme82
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    Jayme82 The Legend of LGBT
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    california_dove awesome news I knew she would end up liking you your a great person :) 
     
  8. collie22
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    collie22 Great Learner
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    ... I love the beach yum
     
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  9. california_dove

    california_dove Enthusiastic Advocate
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    So do I and our beach days are limited in NorCal for the season!
     
  10. collie22
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    collie22 Great Learner
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    I think October at the Nor Cal beaches will be awesome, half moon bay would be great!
     
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  11. california_dove

    california_dove Enthusiastic Advocate
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    I’ve got surfer friends who will go out in January but I am way too cold to wear a bikini pretty much anywhere in NorCal after October. Lol


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
  12. collie22
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    collie22 Great Learner
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    I know what your saying, sweatpants for me
     
  13. california_dove

    california_dove Enthusiastic Advocate
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    Fortunately it was still early enough for me to walk around mostly nude. Lol.
     

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