1. Like the site? Help us keep it running! For $5 you can help keep the site running smoothly and disable ads for life. The site is funded by donations like this and minimal ad revenue: Click here to donate $5. Thank you!

Haven’t been feeling the same since coming out

Discussion in 'Gay' started by JayJ, Jan 3, 2021.  |  Print Topic

Support the site and hide ads for life for $5. Click here to donate.

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 7 users.
  1. JayJ
    Notworthy

    JayJ Hot Cookie
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2018
    Messages:
    35
    Ratings:
    +4 / 0 / -0
    I have been a member for sometime now, I have continued to struggle coming to terms with being gay. It’s almost like I’ve become worse since I came out. I’m not sure aswell if my meds I was on at the start of my depression has now made it worse.
    I have constant pains in social situation where it’s like my breath is being punch out of me, I struggle to keep my body still because my shakes become highly noticeable.

    I fear I’m pushing my bf so far away he’s becoming intolerable to me and I’m going to lose the man I love so much, my anxiety stops me talking to him and loving him the way I should, he tells me he understands but he’s losing patience with me I can see.

    My work situation isn’t great nor is my financial situation.

    I’m really at the end if talking to people doesn’t help I’m not sure what option I really have left, hopefully a therapist should be contacting me this week, I think this is my last shot.
     
  2. ilovetea
    Sweaty Balls

    ilovetea tech-preist
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2020
    Messages:
    88
    Location:
    the warp
    Ratings:
    +31 / 0 / -0
    if you wanna chat I'm usually free
    --- Double Post Merged, Jan 3, 2021 ---
    and you are worthy
     
  3. JayJ
    Notworthy

    JayJ Hot Cookie
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2018
    Messages:
    35
    Ratings:
    +4 / 0 / -0
    I hope it works for me because I don’t really want to kill myself, but I can’t carry on in misery the rest of my life
     
  4. ilovetea
    Sweaty Balls

    ilovetea tech-preist
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2020
    Messages:
    88
    Location:
    the warp
    Ratings:
    +31 / 0 / -0
    what ever you do, do not kill yourself, I new a guy who slashed his wrists and his mum and brother killed themselves too because of it. this might sound brutal, but think about your family
    --- Double Post Merged, Jan 3, 2021 ---
    misery is better than half your immediate family dead
     
    #4 ilovetea, Jan 3, 2021
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2021
  5. JayJ
    Notworthy

    JayJ Hot Cookie
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2018
    Messages:
    35
    Ratings:
    +4 / 0 / -0
    I don’t think I have it in me to kill myself yet,but there’s only so much pain and confusion one can go through
     
  6. ilovetea
    Sweaty Balls

    ilovetea tech-preist
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2020
    Messages:
    88
    Location:
    the warp
    Ratings:
    +31 / 0 / -0
    that's good.

    first thing you want to do is work on your job. everything else spans from that. what do you do
     
  7. ChemGuy72

    ChemGuy72 Hot Cookie
    Supporter Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2019
    Messages:
    27
    Ratings:
    +21 / 0 / -0
    Hey. Please don't take your life, JayJ. I know that feeling and I am soooo glad I opted for life. Hang in there. Please keep reaching out to us on this board and, certainly, to the therapist you mentioned. I had great difficulty accepting that I'm gay, if that's any help. I think most of us here truly understand the conflict of being gay in a straight world. Coming out is kind of rough on us -- or at least it was on me.
     
  8. JayJ
    Notworthy

    JayJ Hot Cookie
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2018
    Messages:
    35
    Ratings:
    +4 / 0 / -0
    Today was a mixed emotions day if I’m honest I’ve made the decision to give the doctors a go again as I’m so desperate for some help and as to the therapist they didn’t get back to me today which i was surprised about, I no we are in the middle of a pandemic which probably slowing things down a bit.

    After the experience I had with the doctors last time I’m super on edge as it didn’t go too well last time.
     
  9. glitter

    glitter Hot Cookie
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2020
    Messages:
    27
    Ratings:
    +17 / 0 / -0
    Hi jayj
    I’m not an expert or counselor but I can be a friend.if you need to talk we can.
     
  10. JayJ
    Notworthy

    JayJ Hot Cookie
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2018
    Messages:
    35
    Ratings:
    +4 / 0 / -0
    thank you for your support glitter I don’t always log on here only just seen your message
     
  11. the-other-dave

    the-other-dave Addictive Contributor
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2020
    Messages:
    188
    Ratings:
    +206 / 0 / -0
    I had suicidal thoughts when I was going through a rough time. I never came close to acting on these thoughts, it was a method that my mind was using to emotionally seperate myself from my predicament. So basically, imagining myself as being dead was a way of relieving myself of that anxiety, because if i was dead I wouldn't be having those problems any more.

    Once I started getting proper treatment, and giving myself a routine of activities and setting goals to work towards, then the suicidal thoughts stopped, because my mind now had something more positive to focus on.
     
  12. JayJ
    Notworthy

    JayJ Hot Cookie
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2018
    Messages:
    35
    Ratings:
    +4 / 0 / -0
    I understand I probably haven’t been the best boyfriend to my man these past couple of month but now I’m trying to get help he seems to have backed off and stopped talking to me and wanting to to on phone I’m not sure if I’m over thinking it but I don’t think he loves me anymore. I heard more from him when I was not really willing to get the help. I’m so confused as to why negative stuff always follows me around
     
  13. JayJ
    Notworthy

    JayJ Hot Cookie
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2018
    Messages:
    35
    Ratings:
    +4 / 0 / -0
    So my BF ended it with my last night and I’m so done all I can think about is suicide, he was my best friend aswell as my BF and I’ve ruined it I’m not sure what’s going to happen next tbh
     
  14. Gigio

    Gigio Great Learner
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2020
    Messages:
    66
    Location:
    European
    Ratings:
    +66 / 0 / -0
    It’s a very sad message you write actually. But, please, life goes on. I remember the situation looking down from the bridge... and I’m glad now I didn’t jump.

    Try to talk to someone. Someone listening helps.

    It took me a lot of willpower to do a shitty job while feeling depressed, but every social contact is important. Don’t give up. Do little things. You’re worth it.

    And if your bf really broke with you, it’s regrettable, but he’s not the only male in the world. Also it hurts, you’ll get over it and become stronger.

    Please, do little steps, but march forward. It’s possible. I can only repeat myself: I was ready to jump and I’m glad now I didn’t.
     
  15. JayJ
    Notworthy

    JayJ Hot Cookie
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2018
    Messages:
    35
    Ratings:
    +4 / 0 / -0
    I have no friends, so little contact with other. my life is just so meh all I want to do is just lie in bed and sleep everything just hurts I wish I had the will power just to end it but I don’t I fear the day is always looming tho and one day it will just happen
     
  16. Gigio

    Gigio Great Learner
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2020
    Messages:
    66
    Location:
    European
    Ratings:
    +66 / 0 / -0
    I’m happy to hear from you, have been waiting every day. Even if you don’t have real friends around, we’re here for you.

    I can say for myself that I’m so grateful to have found someone in this chat room who enlightens everyday for me. He is the reason to walk out with a goofy smile, which nobody around understands.

    Virtual reality can’t completely substitute real reality, but it helps making the day, helps giving you the power to confront yourself with real life. Please, don’t give up, be sure I care about you, and I’m sure not to be the only one here. You matter!!!
     

Support the site and hide ads for life for $5. Click here to donate.

Share This Page