1. Like the site? Help us keep it running! For $5 you can help keep the site running smoothly and disable ads for life. The site is funded by donations like this and minimal ad revenue: Click here to donate $5. Thank you!

Trigger Warning! Have a Question?

Discussion in 'General (Off Topic)' started by Thief King Bakura, Sep 10, 2019.  |  Print Topic


Should I resign my lease with the rent increase?

  1. Yes, Stay where you are.

    0 vote(s)
  2. no, Moving is a better idea.

    4 vote(s)

Support the site and hide ads for life for $5. Click here to donate.

This thread is being watched by 8 users.
  1. Thief King Bakura

    Thief King Bakura I solenmly swear I am Up to no good.
    Moderator Supporter Beloved Member

    Apr 20, 2017
    ..3,000 Years ago...
    +4,775 / 0 / -6
    Hi I just have a question. I got a notice for my rent increasing, effective 11/30/19. I'm not sure if I should resign my lease and stay where I'm at now or just plan to move. What would you do if you were in my situation?

    Pros about staying where I'm at.

    - access to trails/park
    - bus stop within walking distance of my apartment complex

    - management responds quickly when I need something fixed.

    Shitty neighbors next door....well if you've read my posts you know how shitty they are. Seriously,.I'm sick of them!

    - my former rapist might still be around the area somewhere

    - shitty neighbors...(they warrant being listed twice)

    - no crosslight on the intersection I cross a lot to get home from the bus stop.

    - no washer/dryer.

    - afraid of being displaced because of another flood.


    Yeah there's more cons than pros. I do like where I'm living but at the same time, I'm at a crossroads. I am on the fence about staying where I am. I like the area, the neighborhood (outside my complex) is ok, but I'm tired of feeling scared with seeing my former rapist at least 3 times the past few weeks and that's put me on edge. I have been feeling like I've been loosing mind as of late, my depression/anxiety/c-ptsd has been triggered and I don't know what to do. Now with this rent increase while living next to the world's shittiest neighbors, yeah I can't take much more.

    Should I resign the lease or be better off planning to move? I need some advice. Thanks for reading.
  2. Alsthom

    Alsthom Princess Chick Pea
    Premium Supporter Beloved Member

    Feb 4, 2019
    +853 / 0 / -1
    To me, the cons outweigh the pros by a lot. You can find another nice neighbourhood without those stressful elements you mention.
    IMO, you should try to find a safer, more stable place, especially with depression and anxiety.
  3. Hatelove

    Hatelove Reliable Contributor
    Beloved Member

    Mar 25, 2016
    +112 / 0 / -5
    I would move, but since its approaching fast could you extend for a couple of months. So searching for an apartment won't be as stressful. Its not easy to find an apartment. Im moving out in January and I feel like I need to start looking by October.
  4. Kahlan

    Kahlan Addictive Advisor
    Beloved Member

    Jun 16, 2019
    NW USA
    +861 / 0 / -2
    The negative things you listed are all things out of your control. Whereas you can control many of the things you might see as positives. (except management of course) Moving would allow you to change current negatives, which you can do nothing about, into positives. Obviously economics plays a big role here. Can you lease an equal or better product, and gain more value and upside by moving?
  5. Montana Meredith

    Montana Meredith ♥Love who you are♥
    Moderator Beloved Member

    Aug 25, 2019
    Somewhere far from Earth
    +258 / 0 / -0
    To my concerns of your safety.I believe you should not stay there due to the evidence you have provided you should leave and find a better living space.I wish you luck.
    Love always,
  6. RuneBeau

    RuneBeau Polyromantic Demisexual Trans Guy
    Moderator Premium Supporter Beloved Member

    Jan 30, 2019
    +507 / 0 / -0
    It definitely wouldn't hurt to see what else is out there.
    I wouldn't want to stick around. I was sexually harrassed and psychology abused by a guy for 5 years at my old job. I worked for a university and they have to publicly disclose all sexual deviancy. They have a legal team to protect the preps so the university looks safer than it is. It got to the point of him locking us in a closet, showing me he had a knife, and demanding I see him outside of work before the university "took action," they allowed him to quit without it going on his record.
    His friend was my night shift supervisor and saw the report I filed. Despite everything he constantly talked about how good of a guy his friend was and how he wished he was still working with us. It put me in a bad place mentally when I went to work and had to hear about him. I also worked alone for part of my shift. The building I was in auto locked on the outside at night but this guy's keycard access hadn't been terminated yet. I was so terrified of him showing up that I ended up quitting a few months later. I don't regret that decision one bit.
    My point is, there's a lot you can put up with but sacrificing your mental wellbeing shouldn't be one of those things.
  7. Thespis

    Thespis Blithe Spirit
    Premium Supporter Supporter Beloved Member

    Dec 1, 2018
    +2,954 / 0 / -10
    Jesus H, RuneBeau... there are so many nested layers of incompetence and cynical, self-serving patriarchal SHIT in what happened to you, it's hard to know what to say. The worst part of it all is that we just know that similar stuff is going on in workplaces all over the world. :mad: 
  8. Butterfly88

    Butterfly88 Has fallen 87 times and stood up 88
    Moderator Supporter Beloved Member

    Dec 28, 2017
    +2,784 / 0 / -3
    I think you should look at apartments. Maybe you will find something you like and maybe you won't but it's worth at least looking. The cons seem to be pretty significant so maybe it would be a good time to leave.
  9. Pixie Poodle

    Pixie Poodle Pixie
    Beloved Member

    Jul 10, 2019
    +203 / 0 / -3
    Hi Thief King,

    I am glad to have a reason to write to you and I hope I can offer something worthwhile.
    The things I've got are so pragmatic that you may already have them on your check list. Since I don't know, will list them anyway.

    Neighbors: Too late at night loud music playing assholes. I have some (really good) friends from New Jersey. They pretended one night about 10:15, they lived in the same building and asked nicely. I never had loud neighbor problems again. The formerly loud neighbors never knew it was me who got their door knocked on.

    Having said that, the neighbors who could be gone any month, are not sufficient reason (for me) to decide to leave. The rent cost and rapist in the area are.
    Hopefully you can look for an apartment on higher ground. It might sound obvious but too many people don't think of the obvious till it is too late.
    I am assuming the proximity to bus stops and Dunkin Donuts will be same anywhere you go.

    Is the 11/30/19 rate increase date like a contract renewal date? IE if you don't move by then will there be a penalty such as losing your deposit if takes you an extra month or two to find a new place? IF THAT IS the case, talk to Management NOW, telling them you intend to leave for a place you can better afford but it might take you till December or January to get everything setup.
    They could very possibly alter your Lease Termination date by a month or two; but only if you set it up ahead of time.
    You need to know those things for certain. Sometimes management can be accommodating. If they can't, knowing the real consequences - will help you push to get it done.
    RARE possibility, they might postpone the raise to keep you (at least for a while).
    Apartment complexes are businesses. They often have the authority to do such things, but they can't make that public knowledge.
    They do their best to make it sound like they have no choice and YOU have no choice. Your best move is to be business about it as well because you HAVE NO CHOICE but to move. They can sense your fear and weakness just like wild animals can.

    In your Exit interview or more likely form you fill out when you leave; be polite, praise the complex for what they did right; state the rent raise was the (majority ? ) reason, but also mention the neighbors uncontrolled disturbances as another.

    Even if your new place has no washer/dryer, it might have the hookups. There might be places in your town that sell reconditioned ones and you could buy the washer first.

    Any new place you consider; verify when they schedule a future rate increase or at least have your contract specify/guarantee the current rate for X months or years. Asking that can even change what they list in the contract. The contract you sign that may have 1 YEAR printed on it, is just a piece of paper.

    That doesn't mean it is written in stone. They have more than one piece of paper. They don't want to hear you say, "Mmmm rate good for 1 year? That's less than the XYZ Apartments four blocks away".

    These are the questions you can ask before you ever take the time to go there.
    Just like the amount of rent with Washer Dryer included as opposed to just the hookups. Rent that is higher because of "water usage" is a con. Unless you have 6 kids in the family with 2 in diapers there is no significant difference in the amount of water used. A staffer who tells you different is lying. If you need ammunition say, "Consumer Reports says water usage is the same for 1 to 2 people with and without washers".

    Also any new place when you are down to the final two or three choices;
    knock on doors some Saturday or Sunday afternoon at different buildings to get a consensus of the neighborhood and its safety. Asking how quickly management responds when something needs fixing is a great question. Asking about mail and package delivery or quirks is another.

    You could honestly wind up with neighbors even worse no matter where you go, but at least you will be out of the area of that rapist.

    Ask your local police precinct or station which complexes get the most or fewest calls.

    On your current bus schedule, check what other apartment complexes you go by. Have you ever taken a different bus from your work stop to check out other apartment areas near bus stops?
    I saw that Google Maps can help find places but haven't tested how well it works.

    I don't know your state or town but near Atlanta when I was there, you could spit on 3 different sets of apartments no matter what bus stop you were standing at.

Support the site and hide ads for life for $5. Click here to donate.

Share This Page