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Has anyone got any advice for me?

Discussion in 'Gay' started by RainbowLightning, Nov 27, 2018.  |  Print Topic

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  1. RainbowLightning
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    RainbowLightning Someone Just Trying Their Best
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    Hi. I'm 16 and from the UK.

    I've come out to my parents with no fuss (just a lot of embarassment on my end :p ) and it is general knowledge at school that I'm gay.
    I'm only 16, however, and although I'm fairly sure I'm gay, I worry frequently about it as I don't fill the 'gay stereotype' in any way whatsoever (I know that doesn't mean anything but my brain disagrees). I haven't had a relationship which means that I can't 'confirm' to myself that I'm gay. More confusingly I have a very strong belief in having a strong relationship before sex, which means that I don't have 'crushes' on other people, again making me doubt my sexual orientation (demisexual?) (and homoromantic?).

    Anyway, these are just my scattered, random thoughts, but I'm hoping that someone will be able to give some advice or put my situation in a new light to enable me to see things differently.
    Can anyone help me find some clarity?
    Thank you ^^
     
  2. Guilliums_Mystery
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    Guilliums_Mystery human trash, eats lemon rinds
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    hey, i'ma lesbian so i'm not quite sure how much I can help but i'll do my best.

    about not fitting in with stereotypes, that's a good thing! Stereotypes can be really harmful for the people that get them placed on them, and you don't ever need to worry your not gay enough. If you like guys, then ur gay it's okay.

    about having a strong romantic relationship before sex, that sounds to me like you could be demisexual. look it up, I'm not the best at explaining, as i'm not demi. however my girlfriend is and i'll ask her for more information if you want it lol. Hope this helped!
     
  3. angel70
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    angel70 The Old Guy
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    If you always think about other boys when you wank, you can be very confident that you're gay.

    The stereotypes are based on a small percentage of gay guys -- the ones who couldn't help being out back when most gay guys zealously guarded their closet doors. There also are some gay guys who consciously take on the stereotypes to make it easier for them to be noticed by other gay guys. (I know that sounds idiotic, and it is -- but I've known guys who've done it.) Most gay guys look and act pretty much like any other guy, and you need pretty powerful gaydar to read them if they're not out.
     
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  4. RainbowLightning
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    RainbowLightning Someone Just Trying Their Best
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    Thank you so much for your replies guys (gender neutral :p )! I was a bit nervous posting but I'm really glad I did due to these helpful responses
     
  5. ConfusedButHappy
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    ConfusedButHappy Explorer.
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    Don't stress :p . The only "gay stereotype" that matters is that gay people are attracted to people of the same sex... and it does sound like you fit that ;) 

    Having a strong romantic relationship before sex... Isn't that just standard practice for most conservative cultures and Christians? I thought this was up to personal preference or values.
     
  6. RainbowLightning
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    RainbowLightning Someone Just Trying Their Best
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    That's what I thought. But being demisexual isn't just about 'I will not'. It's 'I have no desire to'. It transcends culture and religion. As a christian, there are plenty of things I know I shouldn't do but do anyway. I, however, feel little sexual desire, instead feeling more romantic desires
     
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  7. ConfusedButHappy
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    Ohhh okay, thanks for clarifying.
     

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