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Bisexual Great Conversation (Re-Out) with Son

Discussion in 'Bisexual & Pansexual' started by BiBearSSNV, Aug 1, 2020 at 6:41 PM.  |  Print Topic

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  1. BiBearSSNV
    Caffeine Fix

    BiBearSSNV Daddy Bear
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    In an earlier post I said I had come out to my son when he was going through puberty and suffering from insecurity and sexual identity. I did this firstly because it was true, and secondly to put him at ease with some of the answers about himself that he was exploring.

    That was about 10 years ago and though throughout our conversations I hinted at but never directly talked about me and my desires and drives. Basically it got dropped because at that time it wasn't as important to me and his well being was. It still is, BUT the rainbow kraken has risen in my life demanding more attention. :D 

    Since we hadn't talked openly about it, or directly I was a little nervous as my boy, is now a man that is well into the Hetero spectrum. I knew he would never abandon me emotionally, but I also didn't want to have our spectacularly awesome relationship changed or diminished. The funny thing about that is that because of said relationship there was no way that it would change it.

    Anyway, we had some time last night, just the two of us on a late night Dairy Queen run, and this subject being so prevalent in my life right now came up. I asked if he remembered me telling him I was Bi and he was like, well yeah. Then we proceeded to really talk like we used to, but haven't for awhile since he has been adulting away from home. I shared that it took me some time to figure it out, but that I identify as a Bear. A bisexual one, but hey a Bear non-the less. It was kind of funny, because he told me, "no shit! I could have told you that!"

    It was great to have someone to talk to face to face about this topic. He is even excited and wants to take me to a Pride Parade/Day when it comes back. Lord was it nice to be so open and free to express myself in that way.

    He agrees that telling mom, may be a big mistake, but is there for me if that happens. Not because she would be against the concept, but because we aren't sure about her insecurities towards having "competition" for my affection. She is in the space of thinking I stay with her out of pity because of her illness. It is hard to make many understand that it is a different kind of relationship and really can't be compared. Hell it's hard for me and i am the one with the feelings and desires.
     
  2. AhhDenial

    AhhDenial Curious Explorer
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    That's awesome, I've never had children, it must've been a huge load off your shoulders to have your son see the real you. I remember coming out to my girlfriend at the time and was overjoyed after. Like this wall had faded into thin air, it's hard to describe. I'm happy for you.
     
  3. Jo A
    Innocent

    Jo A ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    We are blessed. My daughter is supportive as well.

    Happy for you!!!
     
  4. curiousdud3

    curiousdud3 Fighting the demons
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    Really happy for you and that you have been able to reignite your previous conversation with him and that he supports you.

    It does feel good to have someone to talk to doesn't it.

    I hope one day I can be in a position where my wife would support the whole pride thing...she struggles at the moment.

    I think it's also because if I come out more openly she is very protective of me. If family, friends or anyone said anything to upset me about my sexuality she has already told me she will go to full out war and protect me till the end. So I guess part of how I come out needs to protect her too.

    Really happy for you BiBearSSNV :) 
     
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  5. Doglover44
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    Doglover44 Reliable Advisor
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    Thats so awesome so happy to see you have that moment with your son.
     

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