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GF Issues

Discussion in 'Questioning & General LGBT' started by TR4C3R, Jul 9, 2019.  |  Print Topic

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  1. TR4C3R

    TR4C3R Lurker

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    Hi
    Im having some issues with my girlfriend and i dont know what to do.
    My problems started a while ago - i met a guy in a game who i liked. Hes nice and lives near me so i wanted to befriend him. Lets call him Benjamin.
    But my girlfriend started treating me like shit because of it.
    She keeps saying shit like "oh Benjamin youre sooo sexy" in this weird voice like tryinh to make a parody of me.
    Hard to explain, shes acting as if i even liked Benjamin this way. Shes reaaaly jealous.
    She also tries to make me feel bad for having a new friend.
    For example, when im mad at someone, i call them "cutie". Like "cutie, youre an idiot".
    So clearly its ironic.
    But my gf started calling her male friends this way, unironically, just to make me feel bad.
    She keeps apologizing but then DOES THE SAME THING. OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
    So what is the apology for if shes going to do same shit.

    Also I started developing some other issues with her. Especially when it comes to sex. Her libido is way bigger than mine. Yesterday she wanted to have sex and I didnt. So i went with it thinking that maybe i will get turned on in the process. But it didnt work. I felt tired and done with the day and i forced myself to do this.
    Today the same thing happened.

    I dont know what to do.
     
  2. Guarani
    Happy

    Guarani Addictive Contributor
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    Why do you want to be with her? Maybe focus on that and pay her compliments. Usually when you are really nice to your partner, they start to be nicer to you and care about what you need and want.
    If not, it is not the right partner and you should stay away from that type of person anyway. They will use and abuse you.

    She probably feels neglected since you have a new friend and making time to do things with her might help. Schedule some things she can look forward too once in a while (I would say once a week at least).

    A positive attitude towards her and your relationship in general might also improve your sexlife. (You still have the right to say no when you don´t feel like it, mind.)

    It´s hard to change someone (and nagging never helps anyway), but you can change your attitude towards others, which in turm will give you more mental rest and make it easier to accept the flaws that we all have.
    And actually from a positive attitude it is easier to reach someone and get the change you would like, even if it is just babysteps in the right direction.
     
  3. noriepA

    noriepA Greenhorn
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    Maybe she's jealous, thinking you don't like her and want to leave her for that Benjamin dude. Just have a real deep conversation together, speak out your problems and look for solutions together. If there are no solutions then break up (I know it's easier said than done, but you gotta do what you gotta do).
     
  4. Kahlan

    Kahlan Addictive Contributor
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    Having been exposed on a few occasions with possessive girls, it' shard to know if this is just her feeling neglected or being jealous, or if she is just very possessive. most girls can actually admit to this being the case, so you might want to sit down with her and just have a talk about what's going on with Benjamin, and just patterns of behavior in general, like the sex incompatibility. I have had girls tell me they can be possessive up front, and then 3 months later it's like, "OHHH, THHATTS what you meant." Both possessiveness and jealousy are caused by deep seated insecurities, often involving past issues. Some might be justified, but most, if not all, are damaging to ones future relationships. There are somethings you can do to alleviate the problem, as Gaurani mentioned, but not if it's an extreme case. if it's extreme, then you will just wear yourself out walking on pins and needles. it's a level of incompatibility that could be a deal breaker, but only you really know the answer to this if your being honest with yourself about your own actions and behaviors weighed against hers.
     

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