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Bisexual First timers

Discussion in 'Bisexual & Pansexual' started by RayAbl, Jun 3, 2019.  |  Print Topic

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  1. RayAbl

    RayAbl Greenhorn
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    Do lesbians or other bisexual girls not want to date a girl who is inexperienced with other women? I have never dated a girl or even kissed a girl before but I want to find a girlfriend and I’m wondering if it is a turn off for someone to be inexperienced like I am.. thank you! <3
     
  2. Christian74

    Christian74 Greenhorn
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    No, its not a turn off. Im married so Im not flirting when im saying this, its just the truth. Lesbians are just like guys with a virgin girl...its a thrill to turn them out, so to speak. So dont feel out of sotts when you start dating a lesbian, she will most likely do anything she can to charm your pants off. Lol.

    Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk
     
  3. RayAbl

    RayAbl Greenhorn
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    Haha okay, I am just nervous because I haven’t dated a girl before. I wasn’t necessarily meaning with sex only, like the relationship in general.. because I feel like I would be reallyyy shy about everything haha
    --- Double Post Merged, Jun 5, 2019 ---
    Thank you for the help though, that does make me feel a bit better haha
     
  4. Christian74

    Christian74 Greenhorn
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    LOL! I'm sorry, didn't mean to sound so crude. No, don't worry about being shy, its all fun. Before I got married I made it my goal to turn out "straight" or "bi curious" girls. I loved dating them, showing them new things. It was always a good time. In fact my Wife of 13 years now was "straight" so to speak. Lol! And we still have a blast as if we were dating. You will have an amazing time and learn different things with different people. Its easy to fall in love with something new, so be careful.

    Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk
     
  5. mike300

    mike300 Addictive Advisor
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    onthecontrary, is a turn on!!!
     
  6. Doc

    Doc Curious Explorer
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    I have the exact same fears. Although, I would also be afraid that people wouldn't believe me because being inexperienced, I haven't "proven" my sexuality yet. I've been turned down and no one's really been interested now that I've been single for nearly a year so I don't know if it's because I'm not experienced (although not sure they would know that), because I was previously with a guy (not sure they would know that either) or I'm just not attractive enough to warrant any attention lol.
     
  7. RayAbl

    RayAbl Greenhorn
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    Yeah I feel you there, haha. I’ve been on dating sites and all the women that I have talked to ghost me after a day. So idk what to think haha
     
  8. Plutox

    Plutox Lurker

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    I can honestly tell you that your lack of experience is not something that can turn off someone who is really interested in you and getting to know you, but it can be a sort of protection to keep away from you people who are just interested in using you. If a person is really into the idea of starting a relationship with you, she will be patient, and she will be happy to represent your first times in a relationship so that you can grow up with her.
     
  9. Doc

    Doc Curious Explorer
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    At least you've managed to talk to women on dating sites. I don't recall getting that far unless there were maybe some looking for a hook-up? I'm not sure. Just like with dudes, I have absolutely no idea what to say so I just like their profile and hope they like mine and figure it out from there...unfortunately maybe one actually liked me back but we weren't a good match.

    So, if you don't mind me asking, who's initiating and what do you/they say?
     
  10. Freaky.Fiona

    Freaky.Fiona Dedicative Advisor
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    Just like what Christian74 said, to be honest, it's kind of hot (sorry). Always intrigued (and happy) when I have such opportunities (and such girls aren't always young and inexperienced in life; just with women. I've been with more 'mature' women who'd never been with a girl before me). :) 
     
  11. tdil35
    Joyful

    tdil35 Hot Cookie
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    speaking as a closeted Bi (so this is purely fantasy) ...
    If i was out and single I would be off to the monthly lesbian club night in the city. and drag my sister along for company. Dance the night away in a club full of beautiful ladies. Might meet some one, might not, but I would go out and enjoy myself anyway.

    I have to say dating apps etc go over my head, probably because I've never used them.
     
  12. _Dune_

    _Dune_ Lurker

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    I'm in the same position as you. I'm single for 2 years now and I felt ready to be in a relationship with someone (I'm bi). I met a girl on a dating app. everything was fine. As soon as I said that I never dated girls, she became more distant. At one of our dates she asked if I was sure of my sexual orientation, cause she didn't want to"get use", I get it... But what she said to me it hurt me. I am not that "cruel" I wouldn't date someone, get involved and then stop everything because I'm not "sure" of my sexual orientation. long story short she decided to "break up" because she didn't feel ready to be in a relationship (jokes on me). But yeah I'm always afraid of that sentence " are you sure that you're bi ?" I find it rude. I hope your dates will be better than mine !

    english is not my mother tongue so if I did some mistakes sorry !
     
  13. Freaky.Fiona

    Freaky.Fiona Dedicative Advisor
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    That's a shame it didn't turn out. I know, I used to get the "are you sure" question, too. Sometimes still, only because they look at me and say I seem so straight because I am very feminine, as well as a bit prim and proper in my appearance publicly. Usually it works out in the end and they soon learn I am definitely interested in girls, but it can still be a bit of an issue even after all these years and at my age, which can be a little annoying.

    I hope you connect with someone soon. Please do feel free to message me anytime if you'd like to chat here. :) 

    Fiona
    --- Double Post Merged, Jun 14, 2019 ---
    So is your sister bi or lesbian, too? Or is it you'd just want her there for moral support, even if she ends up getting hit on by various women she has no interest in? lol
     
    #13 Freaky.Fiona, Jun 14, 2019
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2019
  14. Doc

    Doc Curious Explorer
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    I have a fear of this happening, especially since I'm shy and very anxious about physical and sexual contact in general due to previous bad experiences. I have to wonder if it's just better to not to volunteer the information that one is inexperienced and just say I'm shy.
     
  15. RayAbl

    RayAbl Greenhorn
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    I am usually the one who starts the conversation but they don’t usually want to keep talking to me after a day haha. I usually try to get to know them a little bit and see if we have anything in common
     
  16. Jamie Ander

    Jamie Ander Lurker

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    I'm new to the site and only recently came out as bi to my mom, sister and best friend. I've accepted it to myself for a year about now but I'm not sure if I've been dealing with this longer, maybe since middle school or not. I've never actually had romantic relationships but I know I'm attracted to both men and women. Though love is love to me long before I realized I was bi, I'm just not quite sure how I feel about other genders like nonbinary and whatnot. Does anyone else feel like I do? I feel kind if silly considering I'm an adult and have never had an actual relationship.
     
  17. Shoziie

    Shoziie Greenhorn

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    hi,

    I feel like I have the same worry that you do as the most I've done is kissing.
    I can be shy and I guess i'm scared I might do something wrong.
    My first sort of sexual experience with a girl was years go, but I moved to men after, not that she had put me off. We were only young so I never really explored it again, but in the back of my mind I think I've always known I have an attraction to both women and men.
    --- Double Post Merged, Jun 26, 2019 ---
    I have the same thoughts.
     
    #17 Shoziie, Jun 26, 2019
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2019
  18. CaliGirl

    CaliGirl Hot Cookie
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    I don’t think that’s a turn off, if anything it’s a good thing (for me at least) but hey if someone likes you they will, inexperienced or not
     
  19. xSimx
    Feminine

    xSimx Dedicative Contributor
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    Hey there! I've been in the same frustrating boat in a long ago past, however, I now kind of understand the other women's worry because I find myself experiencing it too when talking to someone that's never been with a female before. Not to the extend I wouldn't give them a chance of course- but I'd definitely be less inclined to pursue a relationship with them in comparison to someone that has prior experience.

    That may seem unfair, but allow me to explain; These women fear that you may be just bi-curious and/or only want to have a one-time experience with them, and/or that the intimacy doesn't please you as much as you both hoped it would, that they'll end up getting hurt in the process.

    For someone looking for a serious relationship, these are all valid concerns and make them think twice before getting attached to someone.

    Luckily though - as this thread proves - that isn't the case for everyone! ;) 
     
  20. Kattt91

    Kattt91 Guest
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    Lol im just tailgating on this question because Ive been in the same boat! Im curious as to what the replies would be. Good question
     
    #20 Kattt91, Jun 27, 2019
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 27, 2019

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