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fear of being seen differently

Discussion in 'Bisexual & Pansexual' started by mayarue95, May 17, 2020.  |  Print Topic

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  1. mayarue95

    mayarue95 Greenhorn
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    hey so i'm wondering if anybody else is struggling with coming out because of how people will view you differently. i know the world is much more accepting than it was years ago, but i do feel like my family and friends will see me differently. i just wish this wasn't so. it makes me sad. i'm still me. :(  any tips?
     
  2. Jo A
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    Jo A ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    Hi and I am sorry you are struggling.

    I accepted myself at age 62 with the help of an angel who taught me coming out is not asking for acceptance but telling people just how happy you are being you.

    For me they were going to see me differently as I am male for sex and dress as female for gender.

    I never have been happier in my life and went to court to change my name.

    My father said I belong in hell and my wife had some issues but I had the foundation of respecting me to help me move forward and be Me.

    I hope this helps and I hope you find the strength to love and respect you.

    Peace - Jo
     
  3. mayarue95

    mayarue95 Greenhorn
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    you are so kind. thank you so much. i am glad you have found the strength and courage to be yourself - and have also found happiness. you are a good person and i feel lucky to be a part of a community of people like you.
     
  4. x-amountofgay
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    x-amountofgay Gaymer
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    I felt the same way in the years leading up to me coming out too. My mother and her family are very religious and my father and his family are just judgmental in general and I'd heard them both say disrespectful things about LGBTQ+ people growing up, so I was afraid of how they would see me after coming out. I wasn't concerned too much about my friends as I knew they were all very open-minded, but I was concerned about other people in general. You never know how other people are going to react, and even if you think you know sometimes they surprise you. And while it is possible that there could've been a bad outcome as there has been for so many others, I found after coming out that I had been subconsciously exaggerating the situation. Things really didn't turn out as bad as I had myself believing they would and while it was difficult at first, over time my family has become much more open to these things and willing to educate themselves when there's something they don't understand.

    One of the things I did to encourage them not to look at me differently was explaining that I'm the same person I've always been. Coming out didn't change me, I was still the same person I was before I told them. I told them that I chose to come out because I wanted to be able to live freely and be my authentic self so that I could be happy. It wasn't something I just decided on overnight, it was a lifelong struggle and process (my mother's religion often has people believing sexuality is a choice). This was something that seemed to get them to really consider things a little differently than they ever had before, and over time they've come to understand that it's just who I am and it's okay.

    There ARE going to be people who will look at you differently when they hear of your sexuality. This will happen throughout the course of your life. Just remember that when you come across one of these people, they're not worth the effort if they're not willing to accept and love you as you are.

    Just try not to focus too much on the negative, love yourself regardless of the opinions of others, and surround yourself with those who love you no matter what. Good luck! :) 
     
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  5. mayarue95

    mayarue95 Greenhorn
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    Thank you all so much. Ahhhh I love this site. It is filled with such good people. I feel so lucky! Sending you all love and goodness and happy wishes <3
     

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