1. $1. For $1 you can help keep the site running smoothly and disable ads for life. The site is funded by donations like this and minimal ad revenue: Click here to make a donation. Thank you!

Doctors asking about Orientation?

Discussion in 'General (Off Topic Lounge)' started by anonymous3.14, Jan 9, 2017.  |  Print Topic

$1 - Support the site and go ad free for life for $1. Click here to make a donation.

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 5 users.
  1. anonymous3.14

    anonymous3.14 Hot Cookie
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2016
    Messages:
    36
    Ratings:
    +14 / 0 / -0
    On a form I had to fill out at the pediatrician, one question asked:
    Have you ever wondered if you were lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender?
    I checked no (a lie, but not something I was ready to talk about), but was curious what would happen if I checked yes. For those of you, particularly teenagers, who disclosed your sexuality to your doctor, what was the effect?
     
  2. Rafael
    Balanced

    Rafael Observer
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2015
    Messages:
    38
    Location:
    Los Angeles, California
    Ratings:
    +32 / 0 / -0
    In most cases, this means your doctor is trying to determine your risk factor for certain diseases, mostly STDS like hepatitis and HIV. It will affect his line of questioning and the suggestions he offers when advising you how to live healthy and protect yourself from diseases. If you're worried about be being outed by your doctor, don't be in most cases. Assuming you live in the states, your doctor must keep your answers private until such a time you say it's okay to reveal what you and your doctor discussed to your parents. Disclaimer: these are generalizations and what I said here can widely vary from doctor to doctor, state to state, country to country.
     
  3. pastagod
    No Mood

    pastagod Gone
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2016
    Messages:
    28
    Location:
    Gone
    Ratings:
    +27 / 0 / -10
    I've come across this line of questioning myself (though at a regular doctor's office as I am no longer a minor) in the form of a multiple choice question asking specifically about the orientation I identified as. At the time, I most definitely wasn't comfortable answering, and seeing as I had never engaged in any activities, I saw no problem with not answering it at all. They didn't question me about it afterward, either. Not answering is also an option, and unless the doctor pushes to know, I don't personally see why leaving it blank would cause issues.

    That being said, Rafael is probably correct.
     
    #3 pastagod, Jan 9, 2017
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2017
  4. Tranquility

    Tranquility Addictive Advisor
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2016
    Messages:
    534
    Ratings:
    +431 / 1 / -18
    The only time I've been asked about it has been when donating blood, and I just lied on that. I translated the question in my head to, "Have you been you running around urban centers with a bag full of alkyl nitrates and having drugged-up anal sex with multiple strangers every night?" and I ticked "no." The inherent assumptions of the question were untruthful, so I was giving a truthful answer to an untruthful question.

    Otherwise, I have never had a doctor or any medical or mental health professional just come out and ask that. If I saw that particular question on a form, then I would just write "I have a husband, so probably." It's just a weird question. I don't think it's a bad question, necessarily. I have just never seen it.
     
    #4 Tranquility, Jan 10, 2017 at 7:24 AM
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2017 at 9:23 AM
  5. Jingle
    Adorable

    Jingle Hot Cookie
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2016
    Messages:
    31
    Ratings:
    +24 / 0 / -0
    Questions like that on doctors' forms are normal, they are just making sure to ask the right questions in order to help you prevent certain disease outcomes. And yes, you are protected by HIPAA laws! Doctors, nurses, pharmacists, etc. may not disclose patient information without your permission. However, they are definitely discriminatory when on blood donation forms in the US because the law bans gays from donating blood.

    On the flip side, I know when the forms ask for your biological sex, they need it to calculate the kidney functions and some drug dosing.

    I hope this was helpful! ^^
     
  6. Halloween
    Batty

    Halloween Trick or Treat or Chainsaw?
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2016
    Messages:
    120
    Location:
    U.S.A-holes
    Ratings:
    +68 / 0 / -8
    I wish I would have lied when I used to donate blood, so that I could have kept donating.

    I donated for a year, starting the summer I turned 18. Even though each time you donate you have to fill out the same form again, with all the same question, I was fully aware of the question that asked "Have you ever had sex with someone of the same sex, even once?" I was not aware that if you ever check yes you can no longer donate. I just thought maybe they would test your blood twice or something.

    At that time I had not, so I could have kept donating and stayed honest on the form. But that was also the year that I came out, and was in this real rebellious punk-rock, If You Don't Like Who I am, Than Fuck You! stage, so once I read about the gay blood ban online, the next time the Blood Center called to remind me enough time had passed for me to come back and make another donation, I got on the phone and said "I'm gay, you don't want my blood." and hung up the phone....they never called back.

    I regret it. I wish I would have kept my mouth shut.
     
  7. Tranquility

    Tranquility Addictive Advisor
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2016
    Messages:
    534
    Ratings:
    +431 / 1 / -18
    Well, I see why the ban is there. In Baton Rouge, about 30% of gay men have HIV alone, not to mention other diseases, and I know what it is: a lot of kids get tossed to the curb by their parents and have to whore themselves for a place to sleep. One ironic cruelty is that it's a warm climate where they can tolerate intermittent homelessness longer than they could in someplace like Souix Falls, South Dakota, but that means this trend of behavior continues a lot longer before they seek help from a shelter and an employment agency to try to get their lives on-track to live independently.

    I know this happens in Southern states because I endured just a tasting of it, not a whole lot, and I know that, if I had been in a frozen climate like South Dakota where there also aren't many all-night diners to dive into, I wouldn't have been sitting at a bus stop waiting for a pick-up that had been making excuses, but I'd have asked where the nearest emergency shelter was until I got an answer and tried to figure out where I could go to get help finding a job because I didn't like being cold. That's probably why HIV in gay men virtually doesn't exist in South Dakota. You're not going to do those stupid things in sub-zero weather.

    But the issue is that it's the wrong question. The question of whether I've had anal sex even once might be a valid one if I'd received anal sex from some guy with a bag full of alkyl nitrates at some bathhouse in Washington, D.C. would be one thing, but there are a lot of men that meet each other online at roleplaying venues where both of them are about as inexperienced as the other, and they meet each other when they're 18 because they've been type-sexing at each other since they were 12 and camming since they were 15. If they ever sleep with anybody else, it's another person they've known since they were 12 years old that happens to have always watched the same shows, and it's this invisible microcosm of maybe one thousand people. These particular subcultures, in the gay community, are particularly resistant to the spread of disease because they are very small, isolated communities, and they really overestimate, in their heads, how large they actually are. When you're in a subculture that has only a thousand or so people in it that have known each other since they were 12 years old or younger and the community has a lot of enculturated memes and inside jokes that make it hard for newcomers to really "get it," these people are in a sort of protective bubble. They end up with like engineering or microbiology degrees or something, and they never really have to deal with the same difficult realities as the gay community at large. These guys aren't disease-magnets because they have healthy social development. They have genuine friends they have bonded with more deeply than they probably appreciate. They have a community of lifelong acquaintances that supports them. This really protects young people for the rest of their lives.

    But the question doesn't ask you what your particular sexual behavior has been like, and the question would be better off asking donors to assess their own level of risk. You could make potential donors watch a little video to make them knowledgeable about what makes them potential risks of being carriers and just asks them not to try to donate if they engage in any of these risk behaviors. The reason this dumb question is not going to work, though, is that people like me are going to lie on it because we know it's really dumb and prejudicial to have that question on there. We have no respect for the question, and we have no respect for the people who had the idea to put that question on there. We have complete contempt for it and the bigotry that lies at the heart of it because we know it's keeping these good people in the blood van from doing work that needs to be done.

    But really, doctors shouldn't just be asking about what our sexuality is. They should ask if we have such a support structure in our lives as I described. They should ask if we have a consistent peer group that we identify with. That is really what makes up that protective layer of bubble-wrap. Social health is really a very important thing for gay men.
     
    #7 Tranquility, Jan 11, 2017 at 5:29 AM
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2017 at 6:02 AM

Share This Page