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Do your preferences change?

Discussion in 'Bisexual & Pansexual' started by Pseudonym7, Oct 9, 2018.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Pseudonym7
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    Pseudonym7 Curious Explorer
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    Hi, I wanted to ask people who identify as bisexual or pansexual if their preferences change over time. I think I am bi - but only close friends and family know I am questioning. I seem to have periods when I really like girls and don't really think about guys, and vice versa. I'll still notice if someone is attractive, but when I imagine relationships it affects who I imagine myself with. It makes it confusing as it makes me constantly question my sexuality. Is it normal for this to happen? I know preferences and attraction can be different e.g. 70/30 girls/boys, but this is like a complete flip. I'm worried that if I am in a relationship with someone I will like them less at some points because of this.
     
  2. Winnie Rinn
    Wishful

    Winnie Rinn Demigirl and Pansexual
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    Hi! Much like you, my preferences flip from time to time. It's totally normal. I'm pan, and for the longest time, I thought I just liked guys (thanks, cishet-obsessed-family) and then I liked girls suddenly. That's when I was like "Okay, I'm bi." THEN I suddenly lost interest in boys...and then it came back...and it was really confusing, yes.
    What I'm saying is: It's completely normal for preferences to change and fluctuate, especially for teens like us. Don't worry about dating/marrying someone and then suddenly losing interest--when you find someone you truly love, it will 99.9% certainly stay that way. I am completely in love with a beautiful girl, and even though on some days I may have more interest in guys, I would still rather be with her. It's hard to describe, but it'll all be good. Don't worry about it!
    Best of luck~
     
  3. Pseudonym7
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    Pseudonym7 Curious Explorer
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    Thanks :)  It helps to know that other people go through the same things.
     
  4. ThisISDreaming

    ThisISDreaming The Biggest Oof (Panro/Ace, She/They)
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    Hey there! I might be kinda late, but I wanted to say some stuff!

    1.) As you've heard, it's completely normal for your preferences to change. And, after you find someone, your love usually depends more on the person, not your sexuality.

    2.) With what you said about constantly questioning your sexuality, would it be possible that you're abrosexual? Abrosexuality is when your sexuality is constantly fluid or changing.

    Nice to try and help. Hope you start to feel more comfortable! Feel free to message me at any time.
     
    #4 ThisISDreaming, Oct 9, 2018
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2018
  5. Pseudonym7
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    Pseudonym7 Curious Explorer
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    Thanks for replying. I don't know - I've looked up abrosexuality and it fits in sone ways I guess. Do you know a lot about it?
     
  6. Lingeriesalesguy

    Lingeriesalesguy Hot Cookie
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    Mine flops but each time it does it leans more towards guys
     
  7. Larry45
    Boner

    Larry45 Curious Explorer
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    My preferences change up to a point. I’m always very attracted to women. Men as well, but sometimes it just isn’t that strong
     
  8. Barefoot
    Daring

    Barefoot Casual Observer
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    I'm not sure that one has to be bi or pan for their preferences to drift. I identify as gay but I sometimes find certain females sexually attractive, though ultimately I know that doesn't work for me. Been there, done that. I don't know if this answer specifically pertains to what you are asking. Perhaps not.
     
  9. TrinLuna
    Balanced

    TrinLuna Half way up the mountain
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    Just wanting to add my exsperience in, i find my preferences flip occasionally best way i can describe it is like two big heat lamps at a relatively similar temperature. Sometimes one grows warmer than the other and sometimes the other way round, rather than flip flop its a gradual thing. Personaly my preference for women is a little more base line warmer than my preference for guys.

    Hope that analogy helps in anyways.
     

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