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Trigger Warning! Digging a deeper hole.

Discussion in 'Transgender' started by Clare.W, Jul 12, 2019.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Clare.W

    Clare.W Dedicative Contributor
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    I've always felt a little trapped. After going to college and meeting more people in the community I started feeling better about myself and who I am. However things around me seem to be falling apart peice by peice. I failed out of college, I'm barely holding onto my job, and I can barely afford my apartment. I'm also getting surrounded by more and more people that my coming out could make things even worse. I dont know how my co-workers will react and I'm terrified of getting fired or treated so horribly that I'll be forced to quit. I also am worried my roommate wont be okay with it and being stuck with either paying rent or with nowhere to stay. I'm also worried that if I come out I'll cause a divide between my girlfriend and her family. I'm not sure what to do. Every time I try and find something that will give me some kind of relief about my gender and sexuality something falls through. I'm just digging deeper and deeper into this hole I call a life.

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  2. Bornunderabadsign
    Gloomy

    Bornunderabadsign Transfeminine Natural Disaster
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    I feel you. I know it sucks but sometimes you have to put stuff on hold until you have a more stable foundation to build from. I'm currently trying to establish my own foundation and have had to put off transitioning until I could do it with the least amount of stress. Setbacks are a part of life. Adapt and overcome. We are with you.
     
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  3. Kahlan

    Kahlan Addictive Contributor
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    When I read your post, for some reason this came to mind:

    "If you don't make things happen then things will happen to you." Robert Collier

    How is it that you have a girlfriend and your not out to anyone? That's not a loaded question, I'm just curious. Do you act like you're just friends in public? What happened with me is that I came out to specific people, those closest to me; best friends, and immediate family, everyone else who knows, found out through gossip or seeing my gf and I together in public; on campus, at work, etc. Not that we were out making out on public benches and in grocery stores, lol, but it was sorta obvious. Most people, such as co-workers, acquaintances, and those who found out indirectly, didn't have anything to say about it, or if they were bold enough to say something to me, it was just by way of observation, like, "oh, is that your girlfriend?" or, something else rather benign. I live in the NW though, so maybe the culture here is different. Anyone who has a negative view of me, has kept it to themselves, and that's how I'd prefer it to stay, because if it doesn't, then they are opening themselves up to me sharing what I think of them. Around here it is not a "PC" thing to share your homophobia with others, so that also works in our favor. I would suggest not concerning yourself so much with coming out, as much as just being courageous when courage is called for. Like the simple decision to hold your girlfriends hand, regardless of who is watching. Fear of what others think of us is what renders us impotent in life, on any subject. Easier said that done, I know...*hugs*
     
    #3 Kahlan, Jul 13, 2019
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2019
  4. Clare.W

    Clare.W Dedicative Contributor
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    I'm out to a few people just not publicly yet. My girlfriend knows and is super supportive. My mom knows and well...we'll skip past that. And a few good friends know. I've been trying to come out to my brother but can never find the words.

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  5. Clare.W

    Clare.W Dedicative Contributor
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    Also I'm mtf so it's not out of the ordinary for me and my girlfriend to be seen.

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  6. Kahlan

    Kahlan Addictive Contributor
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    I didn't know this, thanks for clarifying. :)  And after reading my response, it came on stronger than I'd intended. Like i was giving you a lecture or something. Sometimes i put this teacher hat on and think the world is my classroom. *removes hat* I hope I didn't offend you.
     
  7. Clare.W

    Clare.W Dedicative Contributor
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    No of course not. I didnt read it that way at all.

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