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Lesbian Dealing with internalized homophobia

Discussion in 'Questioning & General LGBT' started by Karol Aguilera, Jan 12, 2019.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Karol Aguilera

    Karol Aguilera Greenhorn

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    Hi,

    So for a long time, I've been repressing my orientation. It's only recently that I decided to accept myself. However, I am still dealing with some internalized homophobia. With therapy, it got better, but I am wondering if anyone here has dealt with this or are dealing with this.

    If so, how do you deal with this? For me, I just try to ignore it, but talking to my sister (she knows I'm a lesbiam and accepts me) and therapy does help time to time. I just kinda wished it wouldn't come back.
     
  2. Butterfly88
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    Butterfly88 Has fallen 87 times and stood up 88
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    Do you know what caused the internalized homophobia? Were you raised in a religious environment? If so maybe you want to read something explaining why God accepts everyone. I have some queer theology resources if you are interested. Or if there is another reason maybe there is another way to address the specific reason.
     
  3. Karol Aguilera

    Karol Aguilera Greenhorn

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    I was raised in a religious environment, but in a progressive one. Mostly anyways. However, my uncle was quite regressive. He kicked my cousin out when she was a teenager and it haunted me since. To this day, I don't know if she is alive or not. It happened when I was little. I have had other experiences where gay people where threatened and hurt. I had very little positive experience where people were accepting outside my mother and sister.

    My homophobia is the kind that I am afraid that if people knew, they will think I am immoral and then hurt me. So maybe homophobia might be the wrong word, but I don't know another appriopiate word.
     
  4. angel70
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    angel70 The Old Guy
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    That's not internalized homophobia, that's realistic, fact-based anxiety. The cure is to build a network of friends who accept and support you -- and, if need be, will have your back. If you can't do that where you're living now, find another place as soon as you can.
     
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