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Daymn, I thought I had this down.

Discussion in 'Transsexual' started by AudryLeigh, Aug 9, 2018 at 6:33 PM.  |  Print Topic

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  1. AudryLeigh
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    Hey y'all,

    I'm just past two years on HRT, and have been living as a woman for nearly 10 years. I thought I had the whole walk, talk, stand, sit, and move like a female stuff down. I'm a dress girl -- I almost always wear dresses, but this Summer has been so hot, I've been wearing short shorts and a blouse quite a bit. Yesterday, I was leaving my bank, and caught site of myself in the big glass window -- I was wearing short shorts. I was shocked to see my reflection walking like a man. "WTF? Is that ME? OMG?" (Brief panic ensued.) I do fine in dresses, but I'm a bit bowlegged, and when the full length of my legs shows, I appear to be walking like a man. I am lucky enough to have rather nice legs and I like to show them off, with short skirts and dresses that are slit up the side, and have always done fine (I do watch myself in store windows and the like), but this was NOT FINE! So I feel like I'm almost back to square one with the whole walking/dancing/moving thing.

    I saw a post on here a week or so ago, where someone was giving advice to a newbie M2F person. One of the things they said was, "Women walk like they have nothing between their legs" (makes sense). I rarely tuck or even wear panties -- the less I have on, the more feminine I feel, and most of my dresses completely hide the dreaded 'bump,' but the fact remains that I do have something between my legs. I'm trying to walk so that my inner thighs lightly rub together when I walk (like there is nothing between them), and I've always tried to do the "runway walk," almost crossing my feet over, one in front of the other, but now I'm all self conscious about my walk again, and I hate it.

    I've been doing this for so long now that it all just comes naturally and I don't have to think about it, but now, especially in heels (I also almost always wear heels, except in my short shorts), I feel all clumsy, gangly, and and gawkish again -- my walk is no longer feels graceful, and I find that I am painfully aware of every aspect of it again. I an so unsteady that I worry about being seen by a cop, coming out of a bar (I sing Karaoke 5 nights a week), and appearing to be inebriated, so that I end up getting stopped for Driving Under the Influence. I have a real fear of cops, due to an unfortunate incident 30 some years ago which left me with rather severe PTSD, which is triggered by virtually any interaction with the police, so I never drink enough for there to be even the slightest chance that I'll blow over the limit in a breathalyzer test. I am a very careful driver, always use cruise control to ensure I never exceed the speed limit, and I haven't had a moving violation in over 50 years, but the cops in my area have a nasty reputation for finding excuses to run people in, and even if I did blow clean on a breathalyzer, if a cop saw me walking to my car, he'd be very likely to use the excuse that I was walking like I was drunk and "take me downtown", which would trigger me to the point of being very likely to end up in the mental ward. Anyway, the whole cop thing aside, I still am now anguishing over my walk. I don't really know what I'm asking for here -- maybe just some moral support, but any suggestions on how to feminize my walk would be greatly appreciated. Daymn, I thought I had this down.

    Hugs,
    Audry Leigh
     
  2. Melancholia
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    Melancholia Ditch That Bitch
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    I just have to say that some people like a woman that walks in a more masculine way. A lot of athletic women I've known have had that bow legged swagger, and I've found it to be very attractive. These were quite feminine looking women too btw.

    I get that you want to be accurate as well as comfortable in the way you present as a woman, but I wouldn't get too hung up on the walk. The swinging hips sashaying sexily down the sidewalk is pretty and all, but it's not for every woman, and it certainly doesn't take away from the sex appeal if you don't walk like that.

    There's a girl I went to high school with that I'll never forget. Long blonde hair, tiny netball skirts, great set of boobs, really sporty and she used to strut a lot like a boy. Very very adorable!
     
  3. AudryLeigh
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    My BFF, live-in in-home care provider, and Karaoke partner is a genuine Cherokee Princess, and she moves like music on the wind, and she really doesn't even realize she does it. All the large, flowing gestures that look good on a movie screen, but look so contrived in real life -- except for April. For her it is so natural, so not just unforced, but unconscious, that it works. Ah, that's probably part of my problem, I'm around April well over half my waking hours, and she is impossibly feminine. I know I'll never move like her, and I don't hold her up as an example to try to emulate, but Jesus when it's that powerful (when April is in the room, you could cut the femininity with a knife), you can't just ignore it. And she really doesn't get it which only makes it more adorable -- and she really doesn't. Anyway, I'm rambling. However I walk, however my voice sounds (people love my singing voice), however I am, I feel loved and adored everywhere I go, by virtually everyone, and I am treated like a lady everywhere, and always. I'm just bein' a bitch, I really do have nothing to worry or whine about. If I pay a little attention to it, it'll probably get a little better, and that'll make me happy. Gawd Audry, why did you even post this?

    Hugs, and thank you,
    Audry
     
  4. Melancholia
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    Hey it's ok! Sometimes we need to let the bitch out for a walk lol. Lately mine has been at full sprint. If you give her an inch she takes a mile haha!

    Your Cherokee Princess sounds very interesting. But it's great you don't want to emulate her. Being yourself is always best I think :) 
     
  5. Melancholia
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    After this conversation I found myself studying the way I walk lol thanks Audry :p 

    Total dude. I think cos my body shape is inverted triangle. I don't have the hips or ass to walk like a lady lol.
     
  6. AudryLeigh
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    My Cherokee Princess really is a true Cherokee Princess, a Cherokee Woman. Beautiful high cheekbones, bright sparkly dark eyes, beautiful coal black hair, but... broad shoulders and a solid build, nice breasts, but no waistline and no butt, nice legs but no hips -- not much of a figure, but she moves like music on the wind. Her walk and her carriage are so profoundly feminine. People do talk about her beautiful face, her nice "rack," and her nice legs, but what it always comes down to is, "OMG, the way she moves! Just watching her walk across a room is a treat for the eyes." And it's true. You don't need hips or a butt to have a sexy, captivating walk. People who have known her for any length of time at all stop talking about her pretty face and her nice firm 'D' cup breasts, they talk about the way she walks. If she didn't move the way she does, as beautiful as she is, she'd be just another pretty face in the crowd. She's 45 and has no figure at all (save for her breasts, but no shape -- she's a blocky Native American), and her age does show, but still... Men and women alike, from 20 to 80, are totally captivated by her and it's all in how she moves -- how she looks when she walks across a room.

    I know I'll never have the grace or the flair she has -- you have to be born with what she has or it looks pretentious, but I do my best to emulate the way she carries herself and the way she walks, stands, and sits. I actually do have a figure -- not much of a rack, but for being born male, I'm built like a girl, and I have nice legs. I figure If I can be just a little like April, move just a little like she does, carry myself a little like she does, I'll draw peoples attention too. And I do. Like I said, I really don't know what prompted me to stat this thread -- guess it was the shock of seeing myself, full length, with my bow-legs right in my face. But I do draw people's attention, just the way I am. I have never understood why I get any attention at all when I'm with April (and I'm virtually always with her), but I do. I can be right next to her, and people will start to gather around us, and I get as much of and the same kind of attention she does (and I'm 71). Oddly (and luckily) she gets the guys, and I get the girls.

    I think what it comes down to is being real, being yourself, no pretentions -- and confidence. We are both devoid of pretention to the point where we sometimes laugh about it, about how neither of us actually tries at all, yet we get more attention than girls who are obviously making an effort. Knowing exactly who you are, being exactly who you are, and being 110% confident in who you are -- the longer I live, the more I believe that's the secret.

    Hugs,
    Audry Leigh
     
  7. Melancholia
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    Absolutely! Confidence draws people in! April sounds wonderful. You both do. So it's not surprising that people are drawn to you. Especially when you're together. Double the charm!
     
  8. AudryLeigh
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    April is a pretty special person -- she is unique and I don't use that word lightly, she truly is one of a kind. Everyone who knows her says they've never known anyone like her, and I am so lucky to have her.

    Without her I'd be in an assisted living home -- or dead. With her, I'm going to go out this Sunday and float the 6 miles of the Willamette river that run right through town here. Six miles of river that contain some of the most intense class V and VI rapids in the World. People who are into extreme sports come from all over the World to run these rapids, and many years the river claims a life or two -- men half my age. We did it last year, twice, and I've been looking forward to doing it again all year. When we pull out, there have always been people there to meet us -- people who expect to see 3 girl athletes from the University of Oregon -- people whose jaws drop when they find out that no, we are a 45, a 55, and a 70 year old women (that's what we were last year).

    The first time we ran those rapids last year we weren't paying enough attention to the river. We had had an unusually heavy snow pack, and the snow melt was still thundering down off the mountain, making the river higher, faster, deeper (and colder), and the rapids way more intense than is usual for that time of year. One of the people who met us when we pulled out was a river guide -- a guy who takes people through those rapids for pay. He looked at us in amazement and said, "I do this for a living, and even I haven't been out on that river yet this year. You're 70?! You girls got guts," to which April flipped her little clutch back over her shoulder and sashayed away saying, "It was a nice day -- we were just having fun." Without April, my life would be pretty boring.

    Hugs,
    Audry Leigh
     
  9. Erin.b
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    Erin.b ♀ @ ❤
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    Truly an enlightened being! :) 

    Your Cherokee princess moves like music in the wind because she is confident in her self and because her femurs point like this \ / where natal males point like this | | . Try just barely letting your knees brush each other in your stride and point your toes in toward your feet being parallel just a smidge. But above all else hold your head high and exude confidence.

    Actually chin up (but not cartoonish) and shoulders back is another counter to a common male trait.

    Love ya Sis!
    -Erin.
     
  10. AudryLeigh
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    Can't make my knees touch. That's what made the image I saw reflected in the window so shocking -- I'm bowlegged. So even though my feet were right, visually, my legs were far apart. I've been trying to remember to make my inner thighs barley brush, which helps, but does make my feet move like I was walking a tightrope -- actually they go a little past being one dead in front of the others, so my center of gravity shifts slightly with each step, but in the wrong direction. (Daymn, that must make my butt swing likle a pendulum.) Perfect runway walk, but more than a little difficult to maintain balance, let alone grace and poise. I do still have the balance and reflexes of a cat, so I probably will eventually be able to walk gracefully like that -- and it does work, my walk looks good, but the center of gravity shifting the wrong direction thing is going to take developing a technique for. Since it's counter-intuitive, I doubt my reflexes will just adapt, I'll have to find a way to conceptualize it so that the canter of gravity vector gets reversed before it gets to my reflexes.
    Yeah, confidence is King (well in our case Queen). Since I've been doing this for almost 10 years, confidence comes naturally. It took me a while to figure it out but absolute confidence, the kind that's beyond any questioning or doubt is hard to be disrespect. That kind of confidence defines you before anyone has a chance to form any opinions, and that sets up the, "Gee, she seems to know [who she is], must be right."
    Yeah, men droop, They slump forward, head and shoulders. I think it's a throwback to the knuckle dragging days. Not all men though, there are the male descendants of Lilith.

    You're right about all of that stuff though. If I just always wear skirts (almost always do), my walk, poise, carriage, all that seems fine because even in a well above the knee skirt, only part of the gap shows and luckily I have pretty legs, so attention is drawn from the gap that does show. But tomorrow I'm gonna spend in a bikini -- going to go challenge those killer rapids again. It's later in the year, we didn't have much of a snow pack this year, the river should be shallow and slow. Still there are some spaces where they're will be 5' waves, but we should be able to avoid them.

    Anyway, Karaoke -- gotta go,
    Hugs,
    Audry
     

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