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Bisexual Crazy Lady Drama (Sorry little long)...

Discussion in 'Questioning & General LGBT' started by Lorraine, Mar 29, 2020.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Lorraine
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    Lorraine Curious Explorer
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    So I will try to make this as brief as I can still leaving in all the good stuff. Anyway, I have had a crush on my kids' skate coach for about a year and a half. I'm good, hiding it well, no big deal. Her and I are friends and she was having issues with her second husband. In Oct of last year, seeing she was really struggling with this guy I start to give her more emotional support to help her through it. I have been in a similar situation in the past, so got it.

    Through this process I find out she has tried to leave him many times and never could. I kept supporting her, letting her know that she had worth, and building her self confidence and so on. She files for divorce in December and moves out to her parents home in January. Things are looking really good for her! Then in late January our conversations turn a complete 180. She starts telling me how much she has missed me, we hadn't seen each other in a couple of months roughly because I had a bad accident. I'm thinking yeah ok I miss you too completely friend zone. Then a few days later she starts telling me again how much she misses me and my beautiful smile. I'm like OK, this is going to an area I was not expecting. This goes on for a while each time I see her or we talk/text or whatever. Her telling me how good I make her feel, how my hugs mean more to her than I will ever know, how I put a smile on her face everyday and make her feel she can do anything. She is a highly passionate and seductive woman BTW along with flirtatious.

    This may sound ridiculous coming from grown women, but she changed her emoji heart from purple to red, (she loves emojis) and they all became more flirtatious and so did her verbage and physically too. She would hug me so tight and so long there was no mistaken that there was an attraction. I told her how I felt about her since I was feeling pretty sure we were on the same page here. There was definitely tension building and the final instance was we were hugging goodbye, but were at the rink and my kids were right there. I went to let her go after one of those fantastic hugs and she grabs the tops of my shoulders and pulls me into her so close telling me to call her if I ever need anything in this really passionate way. So close that I can feel her breath on lips. Guys I am left dazed, this is the kind of hold she has on me. As she left she walked backwards running her hand down my arms until our fingers gently brushed over each other she turned around and left.

    Then 2 days later she needs to see me right now for lunch, this is now almost the second week of March. OK now there I go for lunch. During lunch all she can talk about is her first ex husband, another ex boyfriend that she is telling me is her twin flame and that she will never get over, this other guy who she says she is not into for anymore than a business partner, and I know him too. Here I am thinking this is way strange, but OK. Then I get a call from her. Her whole energy on the phone feels stiff, know what I mean. I just get this weird feeling that she is dancing around something, so I said I have been taking all this wrong haven't I? (Knowing damn well I hadn't, other than thinking I am crazy that I had, but sure that I hadn't right?!?!) She whispers "Yeah, friends" OK I said. My bad. That's what sucks sometimes about being Bi, I guess, I tell her. Then she says I don't want you to be my rebound. Then tries to tell me its because she knows I am lonely. Whatever, I'm thinking.

    Next day I see her I apologize again, mainly to end any awkwardness hopefully and put closure to move on. She says she is the one with the issue. So, bring it to now. Things have been strained between us. I get it. So I know I can't pine over this lovely lady and need to get over the embarrassment and what not. Since we are all on confinement anyway, I tell her look I need some time. I want to be alone right now, for everything around me to just let me be alone. My exact words. She tells me yeah she gets it. So then what happens?! She is like contacting me multiple times a day. Initiates first contact everyday, which she never did before. Checking in on me. "Thinking of you!" Then gives me all the friendly emojis just to ensure I don't misinterpret her feelings again....

    Don't know what to do, my heart is breaking and I am so frustrated at the same time. I am so not feeling that I created this whole pseudo relationship thing in my mind. She was definitely on top of it knowing what she was doing, agree? Now what? Is she freaking out because of whatever? IDK. I don't feel I can talk to her about it without her throwing up walls again and I need her as she is my kids' coach. There are not many coaches that are like her either. She is amazing. We have been through a few, trust me.

    (Oh and BTW I am married, and she knows that and always has. She also knows he is my 2nd husband and that he and I have had no relationship at all for the last 8 years and we are together for the kids, just to fill in that gap.)

    Thanks for the long read. I am sure there will be much more to the saga. Any input would be more than welcome!! Much love to you all!
     
    #1 Lorraine, Mar 29, 2020
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2020
  2. john1010101
    Old Hag

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    Yikes, from what you say this woman could benefit from some form of counselling but the question is, should you have to be the one to tell her?
     
  3. Jo A
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    Jo A The Legend of LGBT
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    Dear Lord, think you could have any more interesting things in one writing?

    First, you are a good writer so your length was fine.

    Husband, I am sorry and this is not fair for you and how you figure this out as it hurts.

    Realizing you are desirable, when home does not give your soul the warmth it needs you forget how wonderful you are. To have that touch, that whisper, the inner glow is needed for a happy you.

    I will leave the rest.

    I do wish to thank you for letting us see and wish you luck in so many levels.

    If you do not mind another hug - long soft and gentle broken off with a whisper, you are a wonderful person and do not forget it.

    Jo
     
  4. BiBiLife
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    BiBiLife Just quit my job making toothpicks out of logs.
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    I really hate the term "leading someone on", but it sounds like that's what she did. I'm really sorry that happened.
     
  5. Lorraine
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    Lorraine Curious Explorer
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    Yeah, I get that. But why? It makes no sense. I have known her for a couple of years and then developed the long term crush. She will be in my life for a number of years more, hopefully as our coach. It was so intense. She completely knew what she was doing is what is the most hurtful part, because we are friends. She can't tell me she didn't know what she was doing, yet she did tell me just that. That is where I am confused as to why? No way I could have misinterpreted the intentions. She made me feel like I am crazy, yet I am having a hard time moving past it, past her. A lot of unneeded deception and now it feels she is kicking it up again. Well, I am no fool and hopefully it doesn't bring us to a crossroads that will end up bad.
    --- Double Post Merged, Mar 29, 2020 ---
    It is definitely an interesting situation. She is definitely an enigmatic passionate person who I want to explore with every ounce of my being, LOL! But isn't possible :( 
    --- Double Post Merged, Mar 29, 2020 ---
    Thank you for the hug! It felt as true as the day is long ;) 
     
    #5 Lorraine, Mar 29, 2020
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2020

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