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Could I be autistic?

Discussion in 'Health - Physical/Mental' started by Rinxie, Jul 29, 2020.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Rinxie
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    Rinxie Just A Nobody
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    Okay, so this is a little difficult to ask, because I'm worried that people are just going to tell me "no, you're normal, you're just being dramatic". But I'm really starting to wonder whether or not I could be somewhere on the spectrum. I'm not expecting a diagnosis here, but I was hoping that maybe someone with some actual experience could tell me whether or not this is worth exploring and maybe discussing with my therapist.

    I once read about someone whose friend had trouble with social interaction and couldn't really hold conversations without some sort of script. I'm the same way. I can answer questions, but I can't do small talk at all because I never know what I should say next.

    Another anecdote involved a young autistic child who meowed at people. I do this a lot too, though only to friends and family. It's hard to explain, but typically means "I acknowledge that you said something but I can't come up with a suitable response.".

    I'm a creature of habit and find a bit of comfort in doing what I always do. Being unable to follow this schedule makes me uncomfortable. I spent a few days in Las Vegas a few years ago, and not being able to follow my usual schedule left me feeling very lost and unsure of what to do. My friend says this isn't normal.

    I wouldn't say I have OCPD, but I do like to have things in their place. When mom takes eggs from the carton at random, instead of right-to-left, front to back, it bothers me and I have to reorganize the eggs. It bothers me more than I think it should.

    I'm a little bit touch adverse, I'm sensitive to bright lights, I don't like flashing lights, and strobe lights make me very uncomfortable.

    There's a little more, but I don't want to take up too much of anyone's time. But does it sound like there's something here? Should I maybe find expert to talk to about this?
     
  2. Butterfly88
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    Butterfly88 Has fallen 87 times and stood up 88
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    I'm autistic. Those do sound like autistic traits to me. Whether or not you would qualify for a diagnosis may depend on the severity of these issues. For example, you are a bit touch adverse, that could be a normal thing for some people. For me, certain articles of clothing are so uncomfortable I can't possibly wear them. Are these issues interfering with your life or are they just strange quirks you happened to notice? Usually, anything that is a disorder has to interfere with normal human functioning somehow. Though I have to say, the fact that you are even making a thread about this, I tend to think it is truly bothering you. Also, has this been going on for a while or did these issues just start? Autism is something people are born with. If you have been struggling with all of this since childhood it very well could be autism but if this a recent occurrence autism isn't very likely. If these things are causing you issues, I would recommend you talk to someone. You should totally talk to your therapist about it. Most therapists know at least a little something about autism. You may also want to bring it up to your general doctor. Something like a sensitivity to bright lights could be from a medical condition unrelated to autism. It's just a good idea to rule other things out as well just in case.
     
    #2 Butterfly88, Jul 31, 2020
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2020
  3. Rinxie
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    Rinxie Just A Nobody
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    I do plan on discussing this with my therapist. My next appointment is still a few weeks away, so I think I´m going to call and see if I can talk to her earlier. I've also joined an autistic forum to try to understand autism and autistic people better, and I've taken a few online tests (I don't remember their specific names). The general consensus seems to be that I should talk to a professional about this.

    When I say I'm a little bit touch adverse, I'm talking mainly human contact. There's a small discomfort when shaking hands, but things like tapping my shoulder feel even more uncomfortable. When someone gave me a pat on the back at work recently I nearly swore at him. Not that it hurt at all, I just felt really uncomfortable.
    I also don't like the feel of dirt, mud, paint, eggs, or other things, especially on my hands. It's not so bad that I freak out or anything, but again, I'm uncomfortable with it. My mom has told me about when she and a teacher wanted me to fingerpaint a shirt (I was about 4) they had to force my hands into the paint, and all I was willing to give them was my handprint. I can't describe it, but it's a little more than just ew.

    Other than my inability to converse with people and my sensitivity to light, these issues don't really interfere with my life too much, which I guess is why it took so long for me to actually think about them (I'm 31), but they do go back to childhood. But as I learn more about autism and autistic people, I find myself relating to a lot of what I hear, though not all, and not to such an extent as others.

    So I guess I can justify seeing a professional about this, and in the meantime I'll keep learning.
     
  4. Butterfly88
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    Butterfly88 Has fallen 87 times and stood up 88
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    I hope you are able to get in to see your therapist soon. Those do sound like they could be sensory issues related to autism. It's good to keep learning. I do agree you should see a professional. Best of luck when you do!
     

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