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Constant fear of all of your female friends abandoning you after you come out

Discussion in 'Lesbian' started by angeluv, Oct 9, 2017.  |  Print Topic

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  1. angeluv
    Angelic

    angeluv alone

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    so... im gay. i am a fag. i love women. i havent rlly come out to my new college aquaintances... but i do have gay pride stickers n stuff on my laptop. i am so scared that people will think differently of me and well... abandon me.
     
  2. Anny6068

    Anny6068 Greenhorn

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    Don't b only tell people u know believe in u,and don't really point to urself when telling them ,try by questioning them their reply give you the curious if you can tell them or not
     
  3. Jinxie
    Bashful

    Jinxie Addictive Contributor
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    I felt the same way as you but when I told the group of friends closest to me, they accepted me and were totally okay with it and I even helped the more closeted ones come out. If they are your true friends than they will accept you as who you are
     
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  4. Lez_Be_Honest_Ladies
    Bookworm

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    I did the same thing as Jinxie. What I've figured is if you start off being completely open about yourself before the relationship progresses it wouldn't hurt as much if they left you, they wouldn't be worth your time anyways. When I came out to my friends with the same worry I made sure to say that I was worried about that and that I didn't personally have a crush on them or anything. I explained that touching them is not always sexual I can still touch people as friends.
     
  5. EllJay

    EllJay PinksUnderdog (Bisexual)
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    We shouldn't have to reassure straight people by telling them "don't worry - we don't fancy you." I think this ideology stems from a lot of ignorance. Personally, it makes me feel strange and I wouldn't want to do that. If they have any discomfort around you after you decide to come out, it makes me wonder whether they're questioning their own sexuality because if they were secure in the knowledge that they are 100% heterosexual and this is something you're aware of, why would they worry about you, supposedly, getting the "wrong idea." LGBT people don't go around fancying everyone they meet, just like heteresexual people don't. And look, I'm not suggesting LGBT people NEVER have crushes on their straight friends, because of course this does occur but it happens with heterosexual friendships too and I think it should be handled in the same manner. For instance I had a male best friend a couple of years ago (I am female) and he developed really strong feelings for me but I didn't reciprocate them so I had to be honest, I told him I only cared about him as a friend and this was something he had to accept. Unrequited love is universal but my main point here is; don't let others make you feel awkward or uncomfortable. If you feel the need to reassure others who don't indentify with your sexuality, their not the right friends for you. Because those who are educated, supportive, and secure within themselves, won't need this clarification - they won't automatically assume that "oh she's gay and I'm female therefore she will be attracted to me." Because that's utter bullshit. Overall, if you decide to be honest about your sexuality and your friends react negatively, they're not worth your time. There are plenty of people in this world who will love and support you so please don't settle for any less.

    :) 
     
    #5 EllJay, Oct 12, 2017 at 8:25 AM
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2017 at 8:27 AM
  6. angeluv
    Angelic

    angeluv alone

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    thank you!!! i agree that its fucking bullshit that i have to say "dont worry i dont like u" or whatever. no one would make a straight boy say that like wtf. we gay ppl deserve to feel human and equal for fuck sakes
     
  7. CoffeeUnicorn34
    Haunting

    CoffeeUnicorn34 B A K U R A◆Thief King Badass
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    Please don't refer to yourself like that. You're an amazing person who has alot to offer. If your friends aren't comfortable with you being you, that's on them. Not you.

    Hopefully it's the latter, if they are good friends they will love you and embrace you and offer support. Being gay is only a small part of a bigger picture. You're still the same amazing individual you were before. If they can't see that. I would say it's their loss. Be you, be true, and haters gonna hate.

    -Thief King Bakura
     

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