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Confused

Discussion in 'Questioning & General LGBT' started by SecretName, Sep 13, 2017.  |  Print Topic

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  1. SecretName

    SecretName Lurker

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    Uh hi,
    I always thought I was straight... growing up my sisters would tell me if anyone in the family is going to be gay it's going to be me... I was a tom boy, liked boy things but I never really questioned my sexuality.. until this summer, I fell for a coworker, another female... she's beautiful and so nice and I just clicked so well with her, the butterfly feeling.. whole 9 yards. She has a girlfriend and lives really far away from me so it won't go anywhere which is fine.

    Basically the issue I'm having is, I've ALWAYS been pro LGBTQ, and pro equality, abd never been bothered with anyone's sexuality or gender identity.. but I'm having such a hard time with MYSELF having feelings for this girl, is this normal? How do I stop thinking about it and stop letting it make me feel upset?

    Thanks!
     
  2. Jayme82
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    Jayme82 Addictive Advisor
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    It is normal hetero society who teaches us boy with girl is normal so when we realize we are not heterosexual it is often normal to have the feeling that the way we feel is not normal and wrong because it goes against so called societal norms but just as they were born Straight we were not born Straight and it's hard for some people to believe or accept that fact
    I was told it was a phase and I was confused because God does not make gay people but that is a common misconception for those who wish not to accept us as we were born but I assure you that you are normal and I hope you feel better we have all been there before and it takes time to become comfortable with your true self I know for me it did but once you are comfortable with who you are there is no better feeling I wish you luck on your journey but if you need to talk to someone we will be here for you his is s great wonderful place with kind knowledgeable people welcome to our community nice to meet you :) 
     
  3. angel70
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    angel70 The Old Guy
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    Did you assume you were straight because you always were attracted to men, or only because you hadn't been attracted to a female before? If you thought you were straight because that is the "default" sexuality, but you'd never actually fallen for anybody, you might be gay.

    Remember that sexuality is about sex, though. Was you attraction to that woman sexual, or was it that something about her led you to admire her far more than other women you've known? Some out lesbians seem to be so much more self-assured than other women; and that might be an attribute you'd like for yourself.

    Having been a tomboy doesn't make it statistically more likely that you'd be a lesbian now, so you can forget about that train of thought. As for how you cope with this new idea of yours, your best bet is to shrug it off and wait to see who you fall for next. Some believe that everybody is at least a little bisexual, so if you're a straight woman who was taken with a particularly attractive person of the same sex, it wouldn't be especially weird.
     

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