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Coming out - yes, breaking up -no

Discussion in 'Bisexual & Pansexual' started by Confused_bird, Jul 24, 2020.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Confused_bird

    Confused_bird Greenhorn

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    Hi all!

    I would like to hear some experiences of you who came out as bisexual or pansexual in your long-term relationships, did not break up ever since, and did not try to flirt/do something more with genders other than your partner. How and why does it work for you? How do you deal with your desire to explore and learn how it feels to be with people of gender other than your partners? Or do you have that desire at all? Do you ever wonder "what if I actually liked some of other genders I feel attracted to more"?

    I would be happy to hear your story :) 
     
  2. Doglover44
    Complacent

    Doglover44 Reliable Advisor
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    I am Bisexual and have been married 9 years and just came out 2 years ago was the most scared nervous id ever been I knew what was at risk worried shed divorce me or not accept me but I was on edge for nothing were still happy and married so lucky to have a woman that accepted me.
     
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  3. Jo A
    Innocent

    Jo A ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    Doglover44 is wise and communications is key.

    I have friends who are happily married and bi.

    So enjoy and be you.
     
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  4. Takusprite
    Fine

    Takusprite Dedicative Contributor
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    Hi, so I am only out to a handful of people, but one of the first people I told was my SO. We've been best friends since we were 14 (we're 30 now), and I realized I'm bisexual about the same time when we got back together, so I never got a chance to experiment with anyone of the same gender/sex. So I told her, she was totally cool with it as long as 1) I didn't want to leave her for anyone else and 2) I wouldn't ever cheat on her with anyone else, regardless of their gender/sex. Since she's my person, I would never want to leave or cheat anyway. Then we got engaged, and now we've been married for 5 years and have a baby. I'm very open with her about my sexuality and my desires, etc. and now my gender identity as well, so like Doglover said, communication is key. She's my person!

    As for my desire to know what it would be like to be with someone who is the same sex (I won't say gender because now I'm genderfluid, so that gets wonky), we're able to talk about it, as well as use toys (and I realize this is easier for me because she can just wear a strapon, but harder for vagina owners to simulate). And in practice, yes I will occasionally find a random guy attractive, but I would never want to actually do anything with a random stranger, nor could I see myself doing anything with any of the guys I already know. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still curious what it is like, but i love my wife too much to do anything that would hurt her, and that outweighs my desires.
     
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  5. Echolady_88

    Echolady_88 Hot Cookie
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    Hey! I came out a year ago, and was already four years into a long term relationship. We're still together and have since got engaged- which actually was super confusing for me and created some issues. We've talked about opening up the relationship so I can explore with women, and we are planning to do that, although covid and the lockdown has put all that on hold! It's been very tough at times, but I find being open with him about being attracted to women, and being involved in bi communities and talking to bi friends, has really helped me feel connected to my sexuality even though I'm in a straight looking relationship. I know this is a super common question on these forums so hopefully you'll find lots of examples! There have been times when I've wondered if I'm more attracted to women and non binary people than men, but I think a lot of that is just curiosity and a "grass is greener" feeling which is pretty common anyway in long term relationships. Hope that helps! Very happy to chat on DM if you'd like

    Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk
     
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