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Lesbian Coming Out Online

Discussion in 'Lesbian' started by martaybb, Mar 15, 2020.  |  Print Topic

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  1. martaybb

    martaybb Greenhorn

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    Hi all!!

    I used to think coming out online didn’t make sense/was useless, but after realizing I have something to actually come out with, it makes way more sense to me. This was my post:

    “Wuz poppin fb I wanna say somethin
    TLDR; I’m gay as f*ck

    I always thought that coming out on social media was such a weird/useless thing to do, but now I think I understand why people do it. It probably doesn’t come as a surprise to most people, especially to those close to me that I previously identified as pan, used they/them pronouns, walk the line of androgyny most of the time, but I’ve figured out a few weeks ago that I’m actually just completely gay, which for whatever reason was shocking to me? I am not the type of person to label themselves, so it was kind of a surprise that I found one that actually resonated with me. I feel like everybody around me knew except for me, so this is probably not even a surprise to anybody. Either way, surprise!

    I wanted to put it out into the world so I’m putting it here, this is my news, love yall ”

    Did any of you come out online? How did it go for you/did you get positivity rather than negativity? I was met with lots of positive messages and love and I just have to say I love my family/friends!
     
  2. Kahlan

    Kahlan Reliable Advisor
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    Coming out online, specifically a heavily exposed place like FB, since it generally would include family and RL friends, makes sense from a efficiency standpoint. I did not come out online, I came out in person to a few key people who I knew would spread the word...no, I do not give one crap about people talking about me "behind my back" I simply use that "itch" people have to gossip to my advantage sometimes...anyway, what you did is even more efficient..Now you're free to field questions and deal with the fallout in a very controlled way. You can simply ignore them if you want, or acknowledge in whatever way suits you. It also makes sense if you're not the confrontational type, there is a false sense of safety by doing it online, so we tend to be bolder here. So whether you did it out of shear laziness, to avoid confrontation, or you are very efficient and practical, doesn't matter, congratulations for coming out, and welcome! :) 

    Is this how you came out to your parents as well though? It seems they would want to corner you about it, if for nothing else than to share their concerns or give you support, etc.
     
  3. Love4Ever
    Breezy

    Love4Ever Addictive Contributor
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    Wow that’s awesome! Good for you! Honestly I do something sorta similar on a way smaller scale by having the pride flag in my Instagram bio. All my family sees my profile but I also have two gay uncles so I’m able to walk the fine line of showing support but also sending signaling to others who do know like my friends that I’m not straight and that the flag applies to me too.
     
  4. OryxCrake

    OryxCrake Greenhorn

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    This is awesome! Congrats! I came out online a few months ago but then tried to date a guy again just to be totally sure and yeah...I am not into men AT ALL and I feel like I should have known this as well but whatever...society puts so much pressure on us to accept the male gaze and learn to love it that it's no wonder that many of us stay in the closet for a while (sometimes even to ourselves)
     
  5. martaybb

    martaybb Greenhorn

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    Ha! Yes, it may have been out of pure laziness. For a few years I had rainbow emojis all over my social media platforms, so I don’t think I shocked anyone when I finally “officially” announced it. I think I might have done it for clarification and to kind of shine a light on the fact that I like *girls* so that certain people knew what was up? (wink) As for coming out to my parents- I must admit, I blocked my dad, his sister, and his brother from the post, as they are all fairly homophobic. I also blocked my grandmother because it just wasn’t a conversation I wanted to/am ready to have with her. Unfortunately, I forgot to block my aunt’s boyfriend, who ended up outing me to her, my uncle, and my dad Pops didn’t seem TOO bothered by it, but I’m sure family holidays with his siblings will be a little weird. I never really had to come out to my mom before, she always kind of knew, she identifies as pansexual and is very open, and perhaps her gaydar is well-tuned LOL. Overall, I cried once, after getting off the phone with my dad after he found out, which honestly was more because I felt violated in the way that I wasn’t able to tell him myself at my own pace. But since then, I’ve felt so, so genuinely *me*.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
  6. Doglover44
    Complacent

    Doglover44 Dedicative Advisor
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    I have thought of coming out on FB by putting a Bisexual flag but to scared too
     
  7. <InkedLady>

    <InkedLady> Greenhorn

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    Coming out either way, through online or in person may be difficult for people. My parents frequently gave the impression that they would not be accepting, so I knew telling them would be extremely difficult. As for my friends there were only a select few people I trusted. Where I grew up was a very conservative community. I completely understand your fear.

    I think the biggest thing for you, would be to analyze your connections on Facebook. Do you have strongly opinionated friends or family you think would have negative reactions? The most important thing to realize, is their opinions is not a reflection of you. Their opinion is a reflection of them. You should never feel ashamed for who you love or who you are attracted to. You were born to be who you are today and grow to be the person you are. No one has the right to make you feel like less of a person. Remember to love yourself and be true to you.
     
  8. Doglover44
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    Doglover44 Dedicative Advisor
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    I'm just afraid cause I got church people and some homophobia people
     
  9. raditaweiner

    raditaweiner Greenhorn

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    very happy when you dare to come out via social media. I have a hard time doing that in my country ... if I were you, I would do it. it is an easy way and makes everyone know about you. if you are comfortable with it, just do it. it's ur social media so you can do anything if you are comfortable and feel right.

    nice to meet you :) 
     
  10. Judith Bisby
    Sweettooth

    Judith Bisby Lady Androgyne
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    I mean, it’s not the most sensitive or careful way to come out, but if it works, it works. I know i would NOT have the guts to try that myself. But i like your style.
     
  11. x-amountofgay
    Frustrated

    x-amountofgay Gaymer

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    I came out to the more important people in my life in person, starting with close friends and eventually working my way up to my parents. But the majority of people who found out got it through a Facebook post since that's where I have pretty much everyone even remotely involved in my life. It was actually a lot easier for me to do it on social media because I express myself better in writing than I do verbally and it gave me a chance to thoroughly explain how I feel about myself and what it meant to me to come out and be my authentic self. At first my parents didn't want me "advertising" it on the internet, their view was that I didn't need to be posting it all over the world and I should just be whoever I am and shut up. But it's a big part of me that I've worked to embrace and I wanted others to know that it wasn't something I was hiding from and that I was continually working to be proud of myself. This was nearly 5 years ago, and I'm still very open about it on social media and I continue to get positive responses and support from family and friends.
     
  12. john1010101
    Old Hag

    john1010101 Geriatric Hippy
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    Your choice and fair enough . BUT, in some countries prone to government being overtaken by the religious and those already suffering under fundamentalist rule coming out on Facebook can be a dangerous move.
    Then there are the employment implications, not just in being openly gay. Prospective employers having found something in your Facebook history they don’t like (even your politics) can turn down and application and you’ll never know why.
    Maybe I’m paranoid being from the pre - Facebook etc generation but. - - - - - - - -
     
  13. raditaweiner

    raditaweiner Greenhorn

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    I agree, in some countries it may still be like this, the government and religion still consider taboo on this. when you start to come out you must be prepared to accept all the consequences that occur. and if you have courage like that, you can do it. but yes you are ready with existing social and religious sanctions, thats my opinion..
     

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