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Coming out help

Discussion in 'Bisexual & Pansexual' started by Queerlittleteddybear, Jul 11, 2019.  |  Print Topic

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This thread is being watched by 4 users.
  1. Queerlittleteddybear

    Jul 11, 2019
    +0 / 0 / -0
    so, I've identified as pansexual or bi (easier to explain) since I was fourteen. I now want to come out as part of my valedictorian speech at highschool, since I won't see most of these people ever again and I really want to come out.

    But my boyfriend (I'm a girl) is sceptic. His family will be attending the celebrations as well and they are pretty conservative. He is mostly concerned about what they will think and how they will annoy him throughout the evening. He says he will support me, but I know that he doesn't want me to come out. I don't know what to do...
  2. Jo A

    Jo A Pretty Notable
    Premium Supporter Beloved Member

    Nov 22, 2018
    +1,013 / 0 / -0
    Welcome to a safe and wonderful site and a great place to be you and not judged.

    I accepted myself a year ago and came out last August as non binary.

    Things went well except for my dad and wife. It took time but worked things out with my wife but my dad thinks I belong in hell.

    I did not ask for acceptance but wanted people to know who and what I am and that for the first time in my life I am truly happy with me.

    My staff, coworkers and rest of my family have been happy and supportive (oh I am older - 63).

    Sorry for the back ground but are you asking for acceptance or showing the world you are happy?

    Harder question, is your boyfriend ashamed of who and what you are and cannot support you?

    I will tell you from what I see you are strong, proud and happy and you wish those around to know that.

    I hope that is the case because you do deserve that.

    Best of luck to you - small gentle hug filled with hope and love of you moving forward.

    Peace - Jo
  3. BiBiLife

    BiBiLife Whatsername
    Beloved Member

    Jan 26, 2019
    Where the shadows run from themselves
    +2,174 / 2 / -5

    If coming out during your speech feels right, go for it. Hopefully your boyfriend's family won't be a big problem and he will indeed support you.

    And think about that. Jo is right: you should come out to show people you are happy, not asking for their approval.
  4. Jianghu

    Jianghu I got a big mouth
    Beloved Member

    Jun 15, 2019
    Northeast USA
    +245 / 0 / -0

    First I think it's great that you have such courage, regardless of whether you actually do it.

    But make sure you've considered all the potential consequences first - in case you have any regrets afterwards.

    And don't feel as if you're being selfish if you change your mind - the battle for acceptance is ongoing and you'll have plenty more chances to make your statement - trust me :) 

    Perhaps there's also an alternative method - does your school have a web page for all students, or "online yearbook" ?

    Would it be possible to come out to your entire class, teachers, etc in that manner, so that you wouldn't have to put your boyfriend's parents in an "awkward" position ?

    Good luck !

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