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Can you guys help me? I’m confused...

Discussion in 'Group Discussions' started by rosegoldshiznit, Jun 2, 2018.  |  Print Topic

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  1. rosegoldshiznit

    rosegoldshiznit Greenhorn

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    So I’m a girl and confused. I’ve had crushes on boys and have had crushes on girls. More recently I’ve been looking at some girls and am super attracted to them. I could think about kissing & touching them but anything sexual, no. I’m super confused. I’ve been thinking i’m bisexual but I’m not really comfortable with that because I don’t think it explains me. Thoughts? Thank you:) 
     
  2. AliceRhae
    Dreaming

    AliceRhae Today, choose joy.
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    To begin with, hi—and welcome! :)  As you read the posts here I think you might find that your explanation will be that you don't really need an explanation. Maybe for now you can simply accept what you're feeling and not struggle to define or categorize yourself.

    I like to encourage people to allow themselves enough time to embrace their orientation with peace of mind and heart, which might minimize any urgency to define themselves. I know others here who can offer you good advice, and lessen your confusion. I hope this helps a little.

    ~Alice
     
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  3. rosegoldshiznit

    rosegoldshiznit Greenhorn

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    Yeah. It’s just bothering me because i’m confused. Like really confused.
     
  4. Blacktgirlanimefan

    Blacktgirlanimefan Black lives matter and animation for life
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    Just go with the flow, and you'll find yourself .
     
  5. rosegoldshiznit

    rosegoldshiznit Greenhorn

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    when will that be
    --- Double Post Merged, Jun 3, 2018 ---
    ;’(((
     
  6. Blacktgirlanimefan

    Blacktgirlanimefan Black lives matter and animation for life
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    Whenever you are ready
     
  7. AudryLeigh
    Curious

    AudryLeigh Proud tGirl
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    Hey Rose,

    You've gotten some good advice here so far -- this site is good for that. As Alice said, you don't really need a explanation (I still can't explain myself to myself). I would add that, at your age you're pretty much supposed to be confused -- it's normal. Maybe if you just thought of yourself as being curious rather than confused, it might lessen your drive to find an explanation. Confusion begs to be resolved, curiosity (which is probably what it really is) is satisfied to just keep learning (which is all you really need to do). Hope this makes sense.

    Hugs,
    Audry Leigh
     
  8. rosegoldshiznit

    rosegoldshiznit Greenhorn

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    well i know when i have feelings for someone. am i still curious?
     
  9. Blacktgirlanimefan

    Blacktgirlanimefan Black lives matter and animation for life
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    You've just answered your own question.
     
  10. rosegoldshiznit

    rosegoldshiznit Greenhorn

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    elaborate please how?
     
  11. AliceR
    No Mood

    AliceR Reliable Advisor
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    It's natural to be confused. It takes a while to accept what we want or desire because we have been wired by society to believe that wanting the same sex is wrong. Even if you accept yourself, you might still go through times of confusion, questioning, or self-rejection.

    If you are not comfortable having sex with a woman, you don't have to do it. You might simply not be ready. And that is fine.

    It took me years to accept that I wanted sex with women.
    And then it took me even more years after that to accept that I would also be just fine being in a relationship with a woman.
    Even today, there are times when I think about it and feel uncomfortable (please note I've never been with a woman, but I would if given the chance), but I remind myself that my lack of comfort comes from those around me telling me I'm wrong. It doesn't come from me believing I'm wrong.

    Your discomfort might come from people subconsciously making you believe you shouldn't want sex with a woman.

    Take things slowly. If you want to date a girl, then do it. You might find out that she has the same fears and doubts as you. Or she might be the right one, and you might no longer feel doubts.
    If you're not ready to date or for sex, then give yourself time.

    There might people who want you to label yourself. You don't owe it to anyone to label yourself. You don't owe it to anyone to define who you are.

    Take your time, and if you meet a girl you like, just go where it leads you and see what happens. And if you don't feel like having sex with her, it's fine. Everyone is different. We don't owe it to anyone to have sex with them. And we don't owe it to anyone to be sexual in general either.
     
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    #11 AliceR, Jun 6, 2018
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2018
  12. rosegoldshiznit

    rosegoldshiznit Greenhorn

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    ahhh okay thank you. are any of you biromantic? or knows what it is and could give me examples of what you do when you’re romantically attracted vs when you’re sexually attracted?
     
  13. AliceR
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    AliceR Reliable Advisor
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    I'm not, but it could be that too. I did think about that, but I have no knowledge on the question. Maybe you can find YouTube videos or articles about it?
     
  14. rosegoldshiznit

    rosegoldshiznit Greenhorn

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    yeah i’ve look on the internet and youtube. haven’t found anything that really explains what i’m feeling.
     
  15. rosegoldshiznit

    rosegoldshiznit Greenhorn

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    I’ve figured it out. Feels like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders now I can stop thinking about it so much lol. Thank you all for your time & help!
     
  16. AliceR
    No Mood

    AliceR Reliable Advisor
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    Wonderful!!! :) 

    Feel free to share your findings with us (only if you are comfortable doing so). This way, we can learn as well.

    I'm glad you figured it out and are feeling relieved. :) 
     

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