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Can you give me some coming out advice

Discussion in 'Agender/Non-Binary/Fluid' started by Kyle Whitehead, Mar 24, 2020.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Kyle Whitehead

    Kyle Whitehead Greenhorn
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    Hello my name is Kiel and I recently realized that I am genderfluid. But before you give me some advice let me give you my situation I am 14 I live with my mother, sister, and grandma. My mom doesn’t have a issue with the lgbtq community in fact she has a lot of friends that are apart of the lgbtq community. And my sister is to young to know what lgbtq is. But my grandma doesn’t seem to like the lgbtq community that much. So please give me some advice. Much appreciated ❤️️‍
     
  2. Nyxian

    Nyxian Greenhorn

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    I'm glad your mother is open to the topic and I think you should confide in her. If she's like most moms she loves you like no one ever will, and I think if you can find love and understanding in her you can figure the rest out later.
     
  3. Judith Bisby
    Sweettooth

    Judith Bisby Lady Androgyne
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    Hello there. I do have (about) three tips for you:

    1: just do it. I have to be honest, i was scared to death as well. But you have to ask yourself, what do you have to lose, and what do you have to win, by coming out, or by not coming out? Think it through, and you might see that it’s very likely that you will get a positive response, so your life will probably be easier and happier if you come out. In that case, still nothing will change unless you take action yourself. So just take the leap and go for it.

    2: in the words of Scar: be prepared! Think it through, make sure you know exactly what you’re coming out about, what you’re gonna say. Anticipate what questions or doubts they may have, and be prepared to answer them (im not saying you have to justify yourself to them. You are yourself, and you don’t have to justify who you are to other people. But people will have questions, and it will help them to understand you)

    3: in the end, what coming out is, is telling people something very personal about yourself. People may question it, saying its not true, and you are just misguided or something. This is one of the reasons I think it’s important to anticipate these questions. Are you sure you’re not misinterpreting your own psychology or something? If no, wait with coming out. Do research, talk to people. Figure stuff out. If you are sure, do it. But you are telling people something personal about yourself, and no one knows you as well as you do. When you tell people something about you, they can questions it and deny it as much as they want, but that doesn’t make it untrue. Remember that whatever people think, this is true, and you should be proud of that.

    4: okay so there’s four. I lied. Your grandma doesn’t like the lgbtq community right? I would talk to her about it. See what exactly she doesn’t like, and why. You might even be able to change her mind.

    5: i lied again. Sorry. More important than talking to her about why she doesn’t like it, is this: whatever she thinks about that, does she like you? I’m guessing she very much does. So, instead of telling her you’re part of this community she hates, tell her about yourself, without labelling it. In the end, that’s all coming out is, and if using labels could make things harder, don’t use them. (Also keep in mind that if you expect it to cause trouble, no one is forcing you to do this. Only go for it if you feel safe about it)

    So I hope that was helpful. Good luck!
     

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