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Can Someone Please Explain

Discussion in 'Questioning & General LGBT' started by JohnSmithIsGay, Apr 15, 2019 at 4:16 AM.  |  Print Topic

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  1. JohnSmithIsGay

    Apr 6, 2019
    +0 / 0 / -0
    I'm a fifteen-year-old openly-gay boy, and I finally accepted that I was gay a couple months ago after not being able to dismiss all the signs. A month ago I publicly outed myself to my friends and family. Having actually accepted that I was gay and being happy with it all those months ago, I found myself becoming happier and closer to many of my friends. This is the weird part, I often find myself just thinking of specific girls absentmindedly. It's not sexual in any way, I'm just always thinking about them. I know that I am gay because I'm sexually attracted to guys, but then why am I thinking about girls constantly, even though I'm almost 100% sure that I definitely am not sexually attracted to them?

    Also, I know that I'm sexually attracted to men like if I see a hot guy I am intrigued and sometimes turned on, but when I think about dating a guy, thinking about the sex with them makes me feel uncomfortable and kind of undesirable. I've read online about this and considered that I may be demisexual, but I'm not sure.
    #1 JohnSmithIsGay, Apr 15, 2019 at 4:16 AM
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2019 at 8:45 AM
  2. BiBiLife

    BiBiLife Whatsername
    Beloved Member

    Jan 26, 2019
    Inside my head
    +1,123 / 2 / -2
    Hi John, welcome :) 

    Maybe you just think of girls as good friends. It's hard to say. I'm sure someone else can come along to offer good advice.

  3. Bornunderabadsign

    Bornunderabadsign Transfeminine Natural Disaster
    Moderator Beloved Member

    Oct 22, 2017
    Birmingham, AL
    +934 / 0 / -2
    Could be your demisexual or it may be that you are just inexperienced. As for your feeling for girls it could be that you want to be their friends or it could be that you can form romantic but not sexual relationship with girls.

    You said you feel undesirable. I'm sure there are many guys in your age range that would find you desirable. I'm not saying this may be a self esteem issue but I find that most people don't give themselves enough credit. You are you and that is wonderful. Keep trying and just be you and people will notice.
  4. MechaFrankie

    MechaFrankie Reliable Contributor
    Supporter Beloved Member

    Jan 25, 2019
    Michigan USA
    +266 / 0 / -2
    I think he means that dating a guy feels undesirable? Maybe I read that wrong myself. I know that I am a gay demisexual and will only have sexual relations with someone I care about. As for women, I can certainly be intimate friends with them and not be interested in sex with them. And never forget that sexuality can be fluid. Especially at younger ages. Peace!
    #4 MechaFrankie, Apr 15, 2019 at 7:59 PM
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2019 at 8:04 PM
  5. angel70

    angel70 The Old Guy
    Beloved Member

    Apr 9, 2016
    +4,806 / 1 / -34
    It would be pretty weird if you only thought about people to whom you're sexually attracted. Sometimes you think about your mother, or your history teacher, or that weird guy who goes through your trash cans, or Vladimir Putin, perhaps. If you only thought about people you think are hot, you might have to carry around a briefcase to hide the perpetual bulge in your pants.

    More seriously, though, people can have plenty of qualities we find interesting or endearing or attractive in other ways that have nothing to do with sex. In truth, it can be much easier to form lasting relationships with people to whom we're not sexually attracted, including most of our best friends.
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