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Gay Can gay apps be improved to help users find romantic and platonic connections?

Discussion in 'Gay' started by TheoUX, Jul 25, 2020.  |  Print Topic

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  1. TheoUX

    TheoUX Greenhorn

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    Hey All,

    Just curious. For those looking for dates and friends on gay apps (Grindr, Scruff, Romeo), how can these apps better help you with this search?

    For those who have had successful experiences with finding dates and friends on said apps, what factors facilitated the experience?

    Best,

    Theo
     
  2. Barefoot
    Twisted

    Barefoot Casual Observer
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    There are apps and sites for hookups and there are others that are relationship oriented. Grindr and perhaps to a lesser extent Scruff, are used for hookups, especially Grindr, which is meant for that. Scruff is for bears and those looking for them. OK Cupid is relationship oriented and there are others. Must research them.
     
  3. Tzap

    Tzap Well-Known Contributor
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    I have found the majority of dating apps that cater for nonsocial orientation end up not being dating sites to find romance or friendships just to find quick fun times.
    Some of the main stream sites (eharmony etc) have smaller lgbt sections but again when it comes to m2m relations you really need to be wary, still on these sites most are still.looking for just a hook up (maybe a date but expecting at the end of it).
    You may get lucky on any of these sites and find someone that is.looking for the same as you, just not very often.
    Better to find bars/clubs/cafes/group meetings, at least here you can make real connections.
    Good luck
     
  4. TheoUX

    TheoUX Greenhorn

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    Hey Barefoot,
    Thanks for your message. I've heard these things. What's worked for you?
     
  5. Barefoot
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    Barefoot Casual Observer
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    Well I'm very particular about who I'd date, so I never got any from the apps. Those I liked apparently weren't interested in me. My favorite app is Daddyhunt because I'm into younger-older age gap relationships. I think OK Cupid is the most generally relationship oriented for most people but research the apps and sites thoroughly, choose one and make it work for you as vigorously as you can. I can tell you that using any of them without paying is not nearly as good as what you get if you pay. I would even say that without becoming a paid member, your chances are small. Once you have paid, you have to really work it; be as active on it as you can. Find one that you feel good about before paying.
     
  6. TheoUX

    TheoUX Greenhorn

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    Hi Barefoot,

    Thanks you for your reply and advice. How do you like DaddyHunt? It has a google rating of 2.6. Is it helpful?
     
  7. Lola Smith

    Lola Smith Lurker

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    There are so many different dating apps out there for the LGBT+ community. The best thing to do is explore as many as you can to see which ones suit you better. Different apps have different functions and features to help you find your perfect match, and there are premium subscription versions that might make your search more successful. Also, some dating apps are best for hookups, while others are more relationship-oriented or suitable for networking and making friends. You can even broaden your horizons and try apps that are all-inclusive of the LGBT+ community, and not just ones targeted at gays. You might like some of these LGBT+ dating apps. Let me know what you think :) 
     
  8. the-other-dave

    the-other-dave Curious Explorer
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    Well its not that the apps are poorly designed, because pretty much all of them have the option of looking for friendships.

    But gay men are generally just bad at making friends. A lot of them don't understand the benefits of online chat, where you can take your time to ask questions and think of answers. If you type a message along the lines of anything besides "lets meet up and have sex" they don't have a clue what to do with you. You're not showing immediate sexual interest in them, therefore they assume you don't think they are sexy or you are not looking for sex, therefore they don't want to take the conversation any further.

    Of course there are exceptions. I have met a few guys who are happy to just have a friendly chat from time to time, but they are few and far between, and I met them from months and years of being on the apps. You will not be inundated with friendship offers when logging into a new app.
     
  9. TheoUX

    TheoUX Greenhorn

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    Thanks the-other-dave for your insight. Do you use apps currently? If so, how often do you encounter, albeit rare, guys who just want to be social with no expectations?
     
  10. the-other-dave

    the-other-dave Curious Explorer
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    Back when lockdown started around March/April, I was logging into the apps quite regularly and I think I found about 3 or 4 guys who were quite talkative. One of them ended up blocking me!

    I haven't been using the apps much lately because I think I adjusted to not being as sociable as I would be in normal circumstances. I'd say every two months or so I might meet someone on an app who has a bit more to say than just sex talk (and you can have friendly chats about sex as well, sex talk doesn't have to be a proposition, it can be a subject of conversation that doesn't have to lead to an encounter with the person).

    You do have to sift through a lot of users who just want hookups. Keep swiping right or clicking "interested" on all the profiles you find appealing and eventually you might get some dialogue going. It does get tedious, though, so it's important to take a break from the apps and go back to it with fresh eyes again later.
     

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