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Discussion in 'Funny' started by Kirin, May 1, 2016.
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*Takes a deep breath, rubs hands together and grabs a metaphoric line and picks it up*
This one got really awkward, I went to Burger king and said:
"Do you have bacon? Because I need a strip"
One of my bests:
"So from a scale of one to America how free are you tonight?"
(FYI sorry if any of these offend, I know they all pretty crappy but hey maybe one of them is not as bad... lol no they all bad)
WoW I just leveled up looking at you! Well my character is botting..
I don't know about "picking up" a line but if we want to extend our lineage we would have to extend this device in my pants.
I'm normally not a kleptomaniac but I'd like to steal your heart.
Well I normally play dungeons and dragons in my own basement...but I'd be willing to play in yours. That is if you have a basement..
You are so amazing that I'd even let you be the gamemaster.
I would go the extra mile for you...even if it was past your house.
We should make a party... We'll get experience faster that way.
You should see me in my fantasy cosplay costume, I'm sure you'd want me then...
I'm sensitive, I write poetry and I like to sing but I'd be willing to talk like a tough guy in front of you if that's what impresses you.. (no not in public, just in front of my teddy bear, I paid him 5 dollars to let me do it...)
Well I'm so unattractive that perhaps it actually is attractive.
If I had a dollar everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you I'd have 1 dollar and 10 cents (no, not because there was someone else, I simply invested the metaphorical dollar in order to impress you by my resourcefulness)
I hope you like watching Dora the Explorer because I want to explore you! Don't even think of saying no swiping unless it's my credit card... I won't swipe that because I'm pretty broke.. I know, sexy right?
I'm on a quest to find a princess who will take me to the prom..
We are about as compatible as an Android and a Smartphone...but I have an adapter!
I thought I would take this 0.000001% of being accepted to just say hello.
Your too attractive for me but I'm willing to give it a try if you are.
Your social status is too high, you need someone like me to help even out your level.
Is this is the part of the game where I get a new party member? Maybe?
Have you played the Sims? I'm trying to get our relationship bar higher... (Dirty optional) There's also something in my pants trying to get higher too...
I'm looking for a new job. I want to pursue a career in making you happy so what classes do I need to take?
Can we fast forward to the part where I take you on a road trip and we talk on the beach, watch the sunset and look at the stars?
Hi... I know what you your gonna say. Your going to say go away, so I will do it for you (I know a really bad pick up line, well actually it's probably my best one
(I died a bit, you summoned my gameing pick up lines)
You can PVP with me anytime.
I'm burning for you like Charmanders tail.
Is your name Geodude cause I'm about to rock your world.
Call me Kirby cause I'm taking you to dreamland.
i got some good Will Smith "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" ones:
"Girl, you look so good I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of y'all."
"I think I've seen your picture somewhere before. Oh yeah, that's right. It was in the dictionary next to Kablam!"
"Yo what's up, baby? Hurry up and write your number down before I don't want it no more."
"I noticed you noticing me. So I just wanna put you on notice that I noticed you, too."
"I've never said this to a girl before, but baby, you all that and a bag of chips."
"Somebody call the cops, 'cause it's got to be illegal to look that good."
"Hey girl, you look so good I'd marry your brother just to get in your family."
"Girl, if God made anything prettier than you I hope he kept it for himself."
"Girl, I got to tell you. That suit look like a piece of good God wrapped in some have mercy with a side of mmm!"
"Yo baby, I know your feet must be tired because you been runnin' through my mind all day."
"I got four words for you. Hol. I. Day. Inn."
"You know what they say: Behind every successful man there's a woman. But if
you wanted to switch positions I'm with that, too."
"Baby, I'm sayin' bing bang bluesy, me and you in the Jacuzzi."
"Baby, whatever it is that you serving you better give me a double."
"Eeny meeny miny mo, now some of y'alls' clothes gots to go."
“I’m tryin’ to find me some honey’s so I can get myself a lil’ sticky…YA KNOW WHAT I’M SAYIN’!?”
“I might consider letting you be with me.”
“Oh and G.G.W.B. means Good God, What a Booty!”
“I wasn’t talking to him, baby, I was stealing his wallet!”
“Baby whatever it is that you serving you better give me a double.”
“If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”
“My motto is: Keep your hands on they thighs!”
“Excuse me i seem to have lost all the feeling in my lips.”
“Ladies Ladies its your lucky day anyone who sits in these chairs get served on the house.”
“Girl, if God made anything prettier than you I hope He kept it for himself.”
“I’m hoping you like it dark, hot, sweet and with a spoon in it.”
“My dating advice: Never bring a sandwich to a buffet.”
“How could something so smooth be called sharp.”
“I can be sucking on some Honey’s neck-bone right now, you know!”
“TO THE HONEYS: Don’t let no abrasive Negroes bother you.”
“I always read the Victoria’s Secret catalog, because everything is half off, if you know what I mean.”
“Plus, I don’t have any early classes so we can sleep in.”
(That was a good one)
Are you the devil ? Consider me tempted.
Are you a gamer cause I'd like to play with you.
*somewhere someone cringes*
"Are you into taxidermy? Cos I'd love you to stuff my pussy!"
"How do you like your eggs in the morning? Fertilised"
You want bad pickup lines? I've got tons.
"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together"
"Is it hot out here, or is it just you?"
"Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants."
"If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"
"On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight?"
"I want to make some bread pudding, can I borrow some of your firm buns?"
"Are you a parking ticket? Because you have fine written all over you."
"Hey baby, did it hurt when you crawled up from hell? You're so hot even Satan would burn up in your hell fires."
"Your smile cost more than my parents' wedding rings. And it's brighter too."
"Hey, you dropped your name tag… Nevermind, it was just a sugar packet."
"Are you a vampire musician? Because my organ is filling up with blood."
"If I had a dime for ever time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have ten cents."
"I'm like a rubix cube: the more you play with me, the harder I get."
"Are you Google? Because you have everything I'm searching for."
"If I had a garden, I'd put your two lips and my two lips together."
"Is your father a thief? Because he owes me his first born child."
"If you were on the dollar menu, you'd be a McGorgeous."
"Did you just fart? Because you blew me away."
"If looks could kill, you could bring back the dead."
"Your lips look lonely. Would they like to meet mine?"
"Kissing is the language of love, so how about a conversation?"
Ok I got all of these from the same fanfiction whoops. There's probably more but I feel this is enough cx
If you were a vegetable you'd be a cute-cumber.
"I'm high on life!"
Seriously, don't use this one. It just creates the impression of being cocky and full of yourself. (IMO)
Can't say no once you smelled it
I have one soz tho i can't be bothered to see if anyone else put up the same .
So here it goes .
"Are you WiFi because I feel a connection? "
I litterly gave the the guy who said it to me the 'are u serious ?' Look :'-)
"My ping is at 69 :^)"
Haha if u liked that one wait till I here this .
"Are u Google ? Cause ur everything I'm looking for " :'-)
I had a girl aggressively coming on to me and I was playing dumb, finally she says, "damn, I'm pissed off you're wearing glasses!" (I was wearing hipster glasses, fake ones that I don't even need.)
I said, "why?"
she said, "because I want to punch you but I don't punch guys with glasses."
"why do you want to hit me?" I asked.
"Because I like to pound hot guys."
She was nuts hahah.
Oh my did you ask if she was a doctor and tell her you felt sick?
"Are you an assassin because you look like you'd blow someone's head off if I paid you enough"
(grosse point blank moment anyone )
I lost my number,
Can I have yours?
Your name must be Mona Lisa...
Because you are most definitely a work art.
Are you from the Lord of the Rings.... because you're PREEECCCIOUUS!!!
If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?