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Discussion in 'Funny' started by Kirin, May 1, 2016.
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Did you buy you're pants on sale?
Because they would be 100% off at my place.
My friend wanted to ask out this cute guy at a track meet and I told her to be super awkward and use this pickup line:
Did it hurt when you fell from Tennessee? Because you're the only angel I see.
Are those space pants because that booty is out of this world?
Is that a mirror in your pocket because I can see myself in your pants.
"I guess you have to kiss Heaven good-bye because it must be a sin to look that damn good"
"Why don't you give me your number before I don't want it anymore."
"I'm gonna mac your roni"
"If you got the milk, I got the shake."
Get ready to cringe
You know I think I have so many things to do tonight, homework and you
*look at target seductively*
mhm, I can't wait to slam you down on a table and do you all night long
You: *take your homework out* well I can do you too
Are you a light switch because you turn me on!
Hmm, your hands look heavy can I hold them for you?
Target: Omg what's wrong?
You: I fell for you
You: Oh my god! Are you okay? Did it hurt?
Target: What? What do you mean...
You: Oh, I was asking about when you fell from heaven
I forgot my number so can I have yours instead please?
Hey, I love your t-shirt, it must be girlfriend/ boyfriend material
Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you I smile x
*both doing homework or something boring*
Target: This is such a waste of time
You: Your not a waste of time *smile*
I love your outfit now, lets see if it would look better on my bed room floor
*walk towards target and dramatically cover your eyes*
Target: whats wrong with your eyes?
You: Your beauty was shining so bright that my eyes, couldn't take it
Did you sit on a pile of sugar? Cuz that's a sweet ass
Target: Where can I sit?
You: Oh right, brb let me go wash my face
You: So you can sit on it babe
Your heart stops when you sneeze. Kind of like what happens when I think of you.
Me: My phone is broken can you help?
Other person: How can I help?
Me: It's missing your number.
Is tongue a muscle? *yes* So maybe we'll wrestle?
Twinkle twinkle little star,
We can do it in the car.
Remind me to never have y'all as wingmen.
Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.
I’m bigger and better than the Titantic – only 200 women went down on that vessel!
The things I would do if I got a few roofies in you.
Hey baby… you got any diseases? Want some?
you put the ‘hot ass’ in my shot glass.
Did your father have sex with a carrot? Cause you’ve got nice eyes.
me: *tries to think of pick up line*
me: uh okay screw it wanna netflix and chill? this is where it's headed
I have some more nerdy ones for you. (Although not mine)
If I were an enzyme I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.
I want to stick to you like glue-cose.
I wish I were adenine so I could be paired with U
Every time I see you, it's like my quadratic equation gained a coefficient. [Yay for math]
Hi girrllll your legs are long like a gregorian chant
I wish a guy would say that to me!
We're like cocoa and marshmallows; you're hot and I want to be on top of you
I'm not your boss, but I can tell what time you'll be getting off tonight
Are you a road because I can drive it all night long.
Oh god. Hahaha!
Fine? Darling are you looking for a killer read cause I’m a thriller
call the police
because you've stolen my life
yep it's terrible lol
Is you body from Mcdonalds?
Because i'm loving it.