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Bad Pick Up Lines

Discussion in 'Funny' started by Kirin, May 1, 2016.  |  Print Topic

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  1. raisedbymusic
    Procrastinating

    raisedbymusic Hot Cookie
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    Did you buy you're pants on sale?
    Because they would be 100% off at my place.
     
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  2. CoolNerd
    Nerdy

    CoolNerd Nerd
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    My friend wanted to ask out this cute guy at a track meet and I told her to be super awkward and use this pickup line:
    Did it hurt when you fell from Tennessee? Because you're the only angel I see.
     
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    #22 CoolNerd, May 6, 2016
    Last edited: May 6, 2016
  3. Scarlet
    Cynical

    Scarlet pansexual transgirl
    Illuminate Beloved Member Techies

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    Are those space pants because that booty is out of this world?
    Is that a mirror in your pocket because I can see myself in your pants.
     
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  4. Xander Belmont
    Assassinator

    Xander Belmont Well-Known Contributor
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    "I guess you have to kiss Heaven good-bye because it must be a sin to look that damn good"
    "Why don't you give me your number before I don't want it anymore."
    "I'm gonna mac your roni"
    "If you got the milk, I got the shake."
     
    #24 Xander Belmont, May 7, 2016
    Last edited: May 7, 2016
  5. Bubbles
    Buzzed

    Bubbles Let me love you like a princess♡
    Beloved Member

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    Get ready to cringe :) 

    You know I think I have so many things to do tonight, homework and you ;) 

    *look at target seductively*
    mhm, I can't wait to slam you down on a table and do you all night long
    Target: me?
    You: *take your homework out* well I can do you too ;) 

    Are you a light switch because you turn me on!

    Hmm, your hands look heavy can I hold them for you?

    You: OUCH!
    Target: Omg what's wrong?
    You: I fell for you

    You: Oh my god! Are you okay? Did it hurt?
    Target: What? What do you mean...
    You: Oh, I was asking about when you fell from heaven

    I forgot my number so can I have yours instead please?

    Hey, I love your t-shirt, it must be girlfriend/ boyfriend material ;) 

    Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you I smile x

    *both doing homework or something boring*
    Target: This is such a waste of time
    You: Your not a waste of time *smile*

    I love your outfit now, lets see if it would look better on my bed room floor ;) 

    *walk towards target and dramatically cover your eyes*
    Target: whats wrong with your eyes?
    You: Your beauty was shining so bright that my eyes, couldn't take it

    Did you sit on a pile of sugar? Cuz that's a sweet ass ;) 

    Target: Where can I sit?
    You: Oh right, brb let me go wash my face
    Target: why?
    You: So you can sit on it babe ;) 
     
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  6. Centipede
    Magical

    Centipede Audentes fortuna iuvat
    Beloved Member

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    Your heart stops when you sneeze. Kind of like what happens when I think of you.

    Me: My phone is broken can you help?
    Other person: How can I help?
    Me: It's missing your number.
     
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  7. nickdamon
    Spaced

    nickdamon 24 y/o transguy / space cowboy
    Illuminate Beloved Member Techies

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    [​IMG]

    gpoy
     
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  8. MichelleAnna
    Dreaming

    MichelleAnna I prefer cellos than people
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    Is tongue a muscle? *yes* So maybe we'll wrestle?
     
  9. Bonetrousle

    Bonetrousle Undertale trash

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    Twinkle twinkle little star,
    We can do it in the car.

    <3
     
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  10. Quoted
    Cowboy

    Quoted Forever Wanderin' Cowgirl
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    Remind me to never have y'all as wingmen.






    Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.
     
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  11. Quoted
    Cowboy

    Quoted Forever Wanderin' Cowgirl
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    I’m bigger and better than the Titantic – only 200 women went down on that vessel!

    The things I would do if I got a few roofies in you.


    Hey baby… you got any diseases? Want some?

    you put the ‘hot ass’ in my shot glass.

    Did your father have sex with a carrot? Cause you’ve got nice eyes.




    oh god.
     
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  12. akidatheboss
    Doh

    akidatheboss Well hey there~
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    me: *tries to think of pick up line*
    me: uh okay screw it wanna netflix and chill? this is where it's headed
     
  13. Marik
    Masculine

    Marik Reliable Contributor
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    I have some more nerdy ones for you. (Although not mine)

    If I were an enzyme I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.
    I want to stick to you like glue-cose.
    I wish I were adenine so I could be paired with U
    and
    Every time I see you, it's like my quadratic equation gained a coefficient. [Yay for math]
     
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  14. MichelleAnna
    Dreaming

    MichelleAnna I prefer cellos than people
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    Hi girrllll your legs are long like a gregorian chant
     
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  15. EimGhey
    Lonely

    EimGhey Addictive Advisor
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    I wish a guy would say that to me!
     
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  16. Kirin
    Assassinator

    Kirin no war ever won ended without a fight
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    We're like cocoa and marshmallows; you're hot and I want to be on top of you

    I'm not your boss, but I can tell what time you'll be getting off tonight

    Are you a road because I can drive it all night long.
     
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  17. TechnicallyStephanie

    TechnicallyStephanie Curious Explorer
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    Oh god. Hahaha! :D 
     
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  18. Kirin
    Assassinator

    Kirin no war ever won ended without a fight
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    Fine? Darling are you looking for a killer read cause I’m a thriller
     
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  19. emchado
    Procrastinating

    emchado Em
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    call the police
    because you've stolen my life
    yep it's terrible lol
     
  20. LeeOuO
    Masculine

    LeeOuO Keep ya' head up, love! Big smile.
    Supporter Beloved Member

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    Is you body from Mcdonalds?
    Because i'm loving it.
     
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