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Backwards Opinions W/ Friends

Discussion in 'Gay' started by Thebadgay, May 7, 2018.  |  Print Topic

?

If you could pick 2 of these activities which would you do?

  1. Watch a theater performance

    4 vote(s)
    50.0%
  2. GOTTA CATCHEM ALL POKÉMON or other games

    4 vote(s)
    50.0%
  3. Climb... something a rock wall a mountain (you healthy person)

    2 vote(s)
    25.0%
  4. Go out with your friends

    4 vote(s)
    50.0%
Multiple votes are allowed.

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  1. Thebadgay

    Thebadgay TheBad(Marshmallow)Gay

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2018
    Messages:
    8
    Location:
    South US
    Ratings:
    +4 / 0 / -0
    So I have a bunch of really supportive friends who I can laugh and joke around with, my problem is that I’m having trouble explaining to them that they have a backwards opinion on me. I loosely pondered it until one day I went to my friends party and we watched prom (a movie). It was really cringey and fun but I started to notice that I was becoming “that gay friend”, they guy who always hangs around girls and talks about boys. I don’t want to hold a group seminar telling everyone “AY STOP BEING SO IGNORANT YA TURDZ” but at the same time I’d prefer that people knew that instead of singing Beyoncé I’d rather be playing Starbound, Pokémon, etc. If it escalates I’m gonna have a much harder time tricking my Dad into thinking I’m straight. I have sneaking suspicion my mom already knows (I kinda accidentally left out some notes on said gay (Ouo)/). It’s not like the worlds gonna end over it but I could use some advice, or if you want to mumble your about your “not all of us are able to rock make-up like RuPaul moments” please do... I—uh... I need something to do XD (also yes my friend tried to put makeup on me in ENGLISH CLASS but she also told me she’d like to shave my face so.... maybe that’s not as weird)
    And since also is my new favorite word, ALSO feel free to fill out the poll below...
     
  2. angel70
    Supportive

    angel70 The Old Guy
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2016
    Messages:
    4,370
    Location:
    GrtrNY
    Ratings:
    +3,992 / 1 / -29
    Society pushes us into conventional, culturally "approved" roles, but we can assert individuality even in that context. Maybe you've fallen into the role of "the gay friend," but you don't have to do it like a bad TV sitcom -- you are allowed to rewrite your part to make it a more comfortable fit.

    From what you've written, it sounds like nobody has any doubt whatsoever that you're gay -- and I think you can safely assume that "everybody" includes your father as well as your mother. They don't say anything about it because they figure you'll bring it up when you're "ready" to talk about it -- which is the same thing as saying that you'll all feel very uncomfortable talking about it, so nobody wants to begin. Bear in mind that it's not likely to be a long conversation:

    "Uh, you guys know I'm gay, right?"
    "Um, yeah, we figured... Do you want to talk about it?"
    "Not really. What's there to say?""
    "Uh, well if you ever want to..."
    "Okay. Thanks."

    Sometimes people agonize about telling their friends; then, when they get up the nerve, their friends just say, "We know," or, perhaps, "Well, duh!" If the girls are putting makeup on you in English class, you must be pretty obvious. People do stereotype -- at least for starters -- but unless you play into their stereotypes, they get to know the real you eventually. ALSO, it's perfectly okay to let them know when they're getting things wrong.
     

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