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Are You *Really* Bi?

Discussion in 'Bisexual' started by BrokenDreams♀♥♀, Jul 7, 2018.  |  Print Topic

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  1. BrokenDreams♀♥♀
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    BrokenDreams♀♥♀ Follow your heart they said. I did, it got broken

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    Also just another reminder.

    This isn't a bicurious thread.

    I made that very clear and it got hijacked anyway. Please respect the topic of this post and stick to it. There are other threads for bicurious discussion.
     
  2. Curiousgirl

    Curiousgirl Curious Explorer
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    I’m not sure what i am is what I’m getting at I’m looking for some direction the question was are you bi correct? How can I figure it out without talking to people im sorry I will not respond again


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  3. BrokenDreams♀♥♀
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    BrokenDreams♀♥♀ Follow your heart they said. I did, it got broken

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    No one else in the thread had difficulty understanding what I'm asking.

    I'm asking if people who openly identify as bisexual -meaning they have put their sexuality into practice and aren't still curious about it- use the term bisexual just as a convenience because it's too time consuming or difficult to explain their heavily nuanced romanticisms and sexualities.

    I'm not asking whether you think you're bisexual or not. Big difference.

    And I'm sorry if I'm coming across as rude or impolite, but there are threads on here that deal with bicuriosity and you can even create one yourself. I didn't create this thread to talk about that, and I did tell you very politely when you first posted that this thread isn't for that.
     
  4. Curiousgirl

    Curiousgirl Curious Explorer
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    The other posts were discussing being bisexual though so I thought it was okay I just needed some onsite I apologize


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  5. BrokenDreams♀♥♀
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    BrokenDreams♀♥♀ Follow your heart they said. I did, it got broken

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    You clearly still don't understand, going by your reply, and I'm not going to waste any more time trying to explain it to you, because I feel like each time I respond to you I'm getting more and more impolite. I have no interest in arguing or alienating people so please just stick to the topic or don't post in here.
     
  6. AliceR
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    AliceR Real Bisexual Unicorn
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    Your response is indeed impolite and very self-centered. Though it is your thread, others may get information they need too from Curiousgirl 's question.
    To answer Curiousgirl 's question, I have never been with a woman but I have identified as bi for over 13 years now.
    You can DM me if you have questions, Curiousgirl
     
    #26 AliceR, Jul 8, 2018
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2018
  7. Freaky.Fiona

    Freaky.Fiona Great Learner
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    I'm bi, but lean more to women. I am married to a man and do love and enjoy being with him, but my desires are stronger towards other girls (and, yes, he knows and I have been with other women).
     
  8. BrokenDreams♀♥♀
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    BrokenDreams♀♥♀ Follow your heart they said. I did, it got broken

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    Yes I suppose it is self centered to want people to actually answer the question I'm asking and not make this thread about something else entirely.

    My bad. Discuss whatever you like. It is a free forum after all. :) 
     
  9. Curiousgirl

    Curiousgirl Curious Explorer
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    I wasn’t trying to hijack your thread i was trying to understand what you were trying to ask i was confused I am very new to the lgbt community. I’m sorry I pissed you off it wasn’t my intention


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  10. Soubriquet
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    Soubriquet Night Owl
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    Whether you are bicurious or bisexual you're still "bi-" something. You have come to the right place to ask your questions and gain insight; I know from your other post you are upset by the manner the OP has directed towards you, which I too think was impolite, but do not worry you will find many other members who will be happy to engage with you and hopefully help you understand yourself a bit more. As for your situation it will at first be difficult decision to make to know whether you are truly bisexual in the sense that you will enjoy being deeply intimate and sexual with a woman like you are with your husband. The fact that you are fantasising and exploring your desires towards women is the right step in answering the question of whether or not you're bisexual. Looking at Freaky.Fiona's situation with her husband...
    ... this could be a potential point for you, however, it may be he will never be comfortable with you physically being with another person so you may find declaring yourself bisexual, as opposed to bicurious, impossible and confusing but in my opinion it is possible to know without going through the act of being with a woman. For example, there are plenty of members here that claim to bisexual but have only been with one sex. Luckily for you there is no hard rule, labelling is mostly for the benefit of others, you can decide whatever label you want and it is for no one else to question it - heck you can even make a new label for yourself and add a definition! Go with what you feel deep down, explore this forum, absorb as much information as you can handle and do not feel like you have to rush in picking a label. :D 

    Goes without saying that there will be many that do this - I certainly have a lot of friends who discuss the deeper label spectrum they feel they may fit but only stick with the "bi". I think that's perfectly acceptable as it is our business of what we like and are attracted to, labels just help in advertising to others what we're open to. I respect people like labels as it gives them a sense of who they are and helps them define what they feel so I know there is good attached to labels and encourage people to explore the definitions whether they want to use them, exactly what I ended up doing. I went through the period of trying to find what labels fit me, past the standard, and there were a few that I felt fit me perfectly and others I was unsure on, and I used to use them, but in the end I decided to stop as I came to the conclusion that labels are suffocating, they pigeon-hole people as that is what they are and like, for definite, which is not the case. Humans are complex and forever evolving as they journey through life. That's not to say that I think peoples labels will drop or change willy nilly, or people can't swap out as they please, it is more that when you say you like something or match a labels definition some people take it so literally and hold you to it. I find it to be revealing as well, I cannot understand the need to put it as a status (on sites like these it makes sense as it is a community of people finding themselves, etc., I am strictly referring to dating and social media profiles). When a person says they like the act of sex, that is simplified and straight to the point, like the standard large umbrella labels, but no one is going to extend past that and list off all the nuances they like within the act itself to just any stranger as there is no point unless it is to your love interest/partner. Granted labels are not as intimate as that, my point with it is that the lesser revealed about you the more appealing you are and fewer misconceptions can be made about you. Interestingly, I find it easier to approach/befriend/show interest/etc to those who have no or just a standard label, I suspect it is to do with my thoughts on it all and the fact that I am sceptical about someone being so sure of themselves. :p 

    If you are still on the fence about your labels then at least you know you can be open-minded and fluid with your sexuality without pressure of sticking to what you have pre-defined. That is a great place to be in. Use the "bi" label for as long as you want or feel you need to, I hope you never feel bad in doing it as you do not owe others anything. I do not think that anyone who only uses bi knowing so many other labels fit them deceiving either, though others might think so but it would be a petty thing to be upset over.
     
  11. AliceR
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    AliceR Real Bisexual Unicorn
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    It is self-centered when you become aggressive toward someone who means you no harm simply because she is trying to understand who she is. This is a forum for people seeking help, if you can't accept that, then don't post a thread where people will interact with each other.
    She has apologized multiple times for merely being active on this forum where she belongs just as much as you do and for asking a simple question which is technically the same question you asked, "Am I bi or am I not bi?"
     
  12. Probably.Hello
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    Probably.Hello Great Learner
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    I think I might have provoked this by talking with Curiousgirl about how she was feeling about her label as bicurious -- neither of us meant to offend anyone, but diversions (slightly) from topics are a natural part of healthy conversation. We're all working through stuff here on this forum and like AliceR said, this place is for helping each other out. Thanks for showing you understand in an earlier post, but I still felt responsible for the unfair reaction Curiousgirl got -- so here's my post :3
     
  13. travel_nerd

    travel_nerd Greenhorn
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    I don't know either what I am but I know that I'm into women but I kind of feel something when I see a handsome guy but not that much. But I don't wanna label myself. I think it's easier for me and maybe others

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  14. Curiousgirl

    Curiousgirl Curious Explorer
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    You didn’t provoke anything hun she was pissed at me it’s okay please don’t feel bad


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