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Adult Content Anal Sex?

Discussion in 'Gay' started by Elele, Jan 12, 2020.  |  Print Topic

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This thread is being watched by 4 users.
  1. Elele

    Elele Lurker

    Apr 23, 2019
    +1 / 0 / -0
    Hi guys

    I’ve been seeing/dating a guy for the past four or so months now. We’ve had a lot of intercourse and such, we do the general stuff that two people would do together. However needing some tips about anal sex! Basically long story short is - it hurts. Bad. I can’t seem to let him get it in. We did it once where it felt great, but then we didn’t see each other for awhile due to distance and so we tried it again once we met up. I just couldn’t, I had to stop altogether and I ruined the mood.

    Is anal sex all about the angles? Or am I just a loser? Because I’ve tried laying on my back, doggy and sitting on top of him but it always just sends a really, REALLY sharp pain through me. It hurts so bad and I can’t do it.

    We don’t use condoms (we have spoken, tested etc) and we use lube. Just wondering if anyone has any tips about positions, different angles and ways to make it hurt less and so the experience is pleasurable? We want to do it together so badly that it is becoming a problem.

  2. Jianghu

    Jianghu Chinese American cis gay dude
    Premium Supporter Beloved Member

    Jun 15, 2019
    Northeast USA
    +538 / 0 / -0
    Lots of people have been in your situation. Probably every one who's ever bottomed, in fact.

    Anal intercourse is literally an athletic event. Your body has to be "in shape" - and that applies to both participants. Bottoms, in particular, need to "stretch".

    Practice with a dildo or another smooth object that won't cause injury. As you get better with it, you'll notice that your breathing and muscular control will improve. The more confident you are, the better the penetration will feel, and vice versa.

    Right now, your nervousness is probably worsening the pain, causing you to clench up, rather than relaxing at the proper moments.
    #2 Jianghu, Jan 12, 2020
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2020
  3. BiBiLife

    BiBiLife Forever in debt to your priceless advice.
    Beloved Member

    Jan 26, 2019
    Where the shadows run from themselves
    +2,751 / 3 / -5
    Hi Elele ,

    Are you accustomed to taking something inside you? Start with fingers and work up to taking a dildo. Always use lube! With patience and practice, you'll be able to accept him, no problem.

    Positions are another matter. When my partner and I did anal for the first time, that's the only thing that gave us trouble. Doggy style worked best for us.

  4. RuneBeau

    RuneBeau Polyromantic Demisexual Trans Guy
    Moderator Premium Supporter Beloved Member

    Jan 30, 2019
    +515 / 0 / -0
    There's some info in this thread here that might be helpful.
    Anal sex requires that you train your sphincter to allow penetration otherwise your body will fight against it causing pain. Start small and stop if there's ever pain. Negative feeling reinforces negative reaction, just like with the gag reflex, you don't want to trigger your body to tense up or it's going to tense up more easily in the future.

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