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Am I ugly?

Discussion in 'Gay' started by Croft85, Dec 2, 2018.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Croft85

    Croft85 Lurker

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    So am I just to ugly or what I can't get anyone to talk to me on any of the dating apps. I guess I'm no one's type :( 
    I've been on there for about a year and nothing. The only guys that contact me are creepy old men. Am I doing something wrong?

    PS: if someone tells me how I will add a pic of myself so you can judge for Yourself.
     
  2. Being.
    No Mood

    Being. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    Uhm. How do you present yourself?
    What are you after etc?
    What apps do you use.
    Play to your market and I'm sure you'll have more luck.
     
  3. Thespis
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    Thespis Blithe Spirit
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    Please, Croft85, think twice. Posting a picture of yourself and asking forum members to judge you on your looks would be inappropriate and unwise. It's clear that you're already suffering from low self-esteem, so no matter how many of us said they thought you were nice looking you wouldn't believe them, and do you honestly think that anyone here would be cruel enough to diss your looks?
     
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  4. zen

    zen Curator, Royal Academy of Inappropriate Handshake
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    True. People here are very nice and supportive.

    Croft85,

    Just switch apps and move on, many gay men are just shallow sex maniacs, you don't want them.
     
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  5. flyboy15
    Cheeky

    flyboy15 Invisible
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    Don't put yourself in a box based on how much attention you get from dating apps. They are some of the biggest scams out there, and like others said...are filled with all sorts of undesirables. Could you theoretically meet someone worthwhile on one of them, sure....but the deck is stacked against you. Instead....try to meet other like minded people on forums such as this. Develope healthy friendships, and see where it goes.

    Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk
     
  6. angel70
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    angel70 The Old Guy
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    Most likely, you're just on the wrong app -- but do a couple of self-checks. Do a real review of the info you provide in your bio, and figure out if there may be something there that might be a turn-off. If you're somehow communicating low self-esteem, viewers might conclude you really are less than what one might desire. Also, get a female friend to select which of several pictures of you she likes best, and replace the one you're using now. (You don't have to tell the friend how you plan to use the picture.}

    Just for curiosity's sake, though -- do you ever swipe left on somebody because he's too good-looking, thinking he must be unattainable? In my experience, self-confidence makes a person attractive more than any physical characteristics.
     
  7. Being.
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    Being. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    There's actually a thread exactly for that purpose. Posting selfies and getting opnions. So I don't know where your idea that's it's inappropriate or unwise comes from :/
     
  8. Being.
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    Being. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    Okay. So search for a thread called the official selfie thread. The thread probably won't have many recent posts.

    Then you need an image link (google drive won't work) so if you have Facebook click on it and click "open image in new tab" that should open the direct link to the image in your address bar. Copy that.
    Then above the text box here click the image button (looks like a little Mountain and dot) Then paste the link and click insert. Done!
    --- Double Post Merged, Dec 4, 2018 ---
    EDIT. saw your picture on your profile. Nah man. Your hot. Like wow.

    One comment is that long hair puts alot of people off for some reason. Dunno why.
     
    #8 Being., Dec 4, 2018
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2018
  9. Thespis
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    Thespis Blithe Spirit
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    Gosh, really? I had no idea. Well, if that's the way things roll here, so be it. Sorry if my post was misleading, Croft85.
     
  10. Being.
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    Being. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    I mean. It hasn't been posted in for a few months so it's easy to miss. It's mainly just been me worrying I'm an ugly bitch :/. But I decided to give everyone a break.
     
  11. Thespis
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    Thespis Blithe Spirit
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    Thanks for understanding, Being. I'm an older guy and old habits die hard. In saying that it was "inappropriate", I was following my usual habit of being ultra-cautious: you know, with this forum being one where we come to talk about very intimate personal stuff, and with us all being cautioned by the Admins to safeguard our personal security, I worried that posting a selfie might be a golden gift to predators/queer bashers/outsiders who mean us harm, but if people feel safe to post their pics, all well and good. :) 
     
  12. Being.
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    Being. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    That is a good point.
    I guess I just refuse to be hidden or hide in fear. I dunno. No worries man.
     
  13. Thespis
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    Thespis Blithe Spirit
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    And you're absolutely right. Good on you, man. (y) 
     
  14. John P

    John P Lurker

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    Hey,
    The problem isn’t the perception you think you’re ugly. The problem is you have a very low opinin of yourself.
    Remember if you can’t love yourself then no one else can. Be content in your skin because that’s all you got. Make the best of it and people won’t judge you on appearance but what’s inside.
    If you tie yourself up in knots then people won’t see the real you.
     
  15. Barefoot
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    Barefoot Casual Observer
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    There is, and it's not a good idea.

    Admin.
     
  16. Barefoot
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    Barefoot Casual Observer
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    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Sometimes it takes a while for the right beholder to come along. But in the gay world, at least with men, shallowness often rules, and everyone is dreaming of that perfect face or body (in their mind) and there aren't enough of the beautiful ones to go around, and the beautiful ones know they can be very picky; some of them are hoping for a sugar daddy. I'm a "daddy" type but I ain't got any sugar, as I told a few of them. If you want a relationship, concentrate on the apps and sites that are more specific to relationships. Some are mostly about hookups. Each one has its own type of clientele. And I hope you have better luck than me.
     
  17. Being.
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    Oh. Well ban me then. I don't really care anymore.
     
  18. AudryLeigh
    Curious

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    I agree 110% -- confidence is VERY attractive! Also sexy.
    Come on Being, nobody here is going to ban you -- we love you!

    Hugs,
    Audry Leigh
     
  19. MikaIsAHuman
    Alone

    MikaIsAHuman Ace, Panromantic, Genderfluid.
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    I just thought I would add the fact that even if you don't think you are attractive yourself someone else will. Just because you haven't found anyone yet doesn't mean that there isn't anyone at all.
    They will turn up when the time is right, you just have to be prepared and patient for when it does happen.
    There will be someone out there who will like you for you...I promise!

    Mika.
     
  20. douwd
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    douwd Greenhorn

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    Don’t give up. It can take a long time.
     

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