1. Like the site? Help us keep it running! For $5 you can help keep the site running smoothly and disable ads for life. The site is funded by donations like this and minimal ad revenue: Click here to donate $5. Thank you!

Am I Trans?

Discussion in 'Questioning & General LGBT' started by homoismyhobby, Apr 14, 2018 at 7:38 AM.  |  Print Topic

Support the site and hide ads for life for $5. Click here to donate.

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 6 users.
  1. homoismyhobby
    Amused

    homoismyhobby Greenhorn
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2018
    Messages:
    16
    Ratings:
    +11 / 0 / -0
    I've already posted this new the transgender forum but I thought id be good if I put it on another forum too so I might get different answers!

    For the past few months I've been feeling really dysphoric and its been driving me insane! I am biologically female and here's the story sorry if its long:

    Ever since I was little I have always enjoyed the more boyish type of things e.g. the other girls would play with barbies and play with eachothers hair while I'm in the mud playing with insects and hanging around boys with the toy cars. And I remember we all sat in a circle in the classroom and we had to say our favourite colours and all the girls said pink and I said blue.
    However, I was sent to an all girls school a few years ago and everyone is always talking about boys, boy bands, makeup, clothes etc and I'm not into any of that stuff; I hate makeup, boy bands and clothes shopping.Last year I realised I was attracted to females alot more that males but that might be because I've been around girls for years and haven't had any interactions with boys so I don't know what its like to be with a guy.

    Yesterday I went to H&M with my friends and for a laugh we tried on clothes from the mens section. It fe;t really good to be in mens clothes and i felt really comfortable with myself too.

    Does this mean I'm trans? Or am I just a tomboy? Thanks!
     
  2. AliceRhae
    Nerdy

    AliceRhae Curious Explorer
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2018
    Messages:
    48
    Location:
    Philadelphia
    Ratings:
    +38 / 0 / -0
    Maybe it would be better to not question so much what you are, and just simply be who you are. I think we sometimes struggle so much with the journey of becoming, that it's good to take time to just be.

    I think if you do that your questions might answer themselves. :) 
     
  3. homoismyhobby
    Amused

    homoismyhobby Greenhorn
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2018
    Messages:
    16
    Ratings:
    +11 / 0 / -0
    Thank you! I'll try that!
     
  4. Iwilldance

    Iwilldance Curious Explorer
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2018
    Messages:
    61
    Ratings:
    +29 / 0 / -0
    I dont think not fitting into gendernorms necessarily makes you transgender. I never played with barbie dolls, always played dragons and never liked pink, but i am cisgender. If you like male pronouns best and feel dysphoric about your gender i think you might be transgender, but im no expert. Right now i think it could be or it couldnt.
     
    • Informative Informative x 1
    • List
  5. angel70
    Supportive

    angel70 The Old Guy
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2016
    Messages:
    4,011
    Location:
    GrtrNY
    Ratings:
    +3,507 / 1 / -26
    There's widespread agreement in recent years that gender is a spectrum, not a dichotomy, and that most of us have mixed characteristics to one extent or another. People who are transgender, though, experience significant body dysphoria -- feelings of distress because their physical characteristics are a mismatch for their sense of self. If you're not uncomfortable with your body parts, you're not transsexual, even though you may have a lot of emotional and/or behavioral characteristics that seem quite masculine.

    Some women -- often lesbians -- can be very "butch" without ever thinking of themselves as anything other than women. In the end, the advice you got from AliceRhae is as good as you can ger.
     
  6. AudryLeigh
    Alone

    AudryLeigh tGirl and Karaoke junkie
    Moderator Supporter Beloved Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2016
    Messages:
    1,095
    Location:
    Somewhere Under the Rainbow
    Ratings:
    +1,296 / 0 / -20
    Hey,

    You've gotten some really good advice here so far. I did want to point out however, that there are two kinds of trans -- transsexual, and transgender. What angel70 described is transsexual, and is pretty much spot on. Anatomy is sex, gender is who you are emotionally, sexuality is who you are attracted to, and those three things are independent of each other. Either sex can be any gender, anyone regardless of sex or gender can be attracted to any type (or types) of people, and who you are attracted to is unrelated to who you are. Also as angel pointed out, having even significant characteristics of the opposite sex, does not necessarily mean that you are trans.

    People who experience body dysphoria are transsexual. It is also possible to experience dysphoria because of a mismatch between who you have been cast as (who you have been told [all your life] that you are, and how society sees you), and your true emotional self. If you don't hate your body or have a strong sense of being in the "wrong" body, but still feel uncomfortable with the gender role you have had since birth, you may be transgender. Transgender people may wish they were in the body of the opposite sex, but it is only transsexual folk for whom the feeling of being in the wrong body is a profound problem and one that results in a feeling of need, an overwhelming compulsion or obsession, or something that [sometimes] results in disgust with or hatred of one's own body.

    Transsexual people, feeling that they are in the "wrong" body, usually feel compelled to do something to "fix" that situation. The appropriate way to go about that is via hormone replacement therapy, and [sometimes also] surgery. Transsexual people experience varying degrees of body dysphoria, from simply being uncomfortable in their body to hating it to the degree where they end up self-harming. If, for whatever reason, they don't do anything to ameliorate their dysphoria, a very high percentage will develop serious mental issues -- many become suicidal. If you are experiencing body dysphoria, you should see a gender therapist, counselor, psychiatrist or psychologist to get a formal diagnosis of Gender Dysphoria, and a referral to an endocrinologist. Hormone replacement therapy should only be prescribed and managed by an endocrinologist. Endocrinology is a specialty for a reason. Messing with your endocrine system (which is what hormones do) is about as delicate, and potentially as dangerous as brain surgery. Self medication with hormones is very risky and potentially a very dangerous thing to do -- [please] don't.

    Transgender people don't have a physical mismatch between their anatomy and the wiring of their brains -- the mismatch is mental/emotional, not physical. However, they still can and do experience gender dysphoria (GD), often to the same degree and with the same intensity as transsexuals. Transgender people do not need, and should not undergo hormone replacement therapy. Surgery is still an option (in extreme cases), but because there isn't the physical mismatch between body and brain, transgender people don't usually have the overpowering feeling of being in the wrong body -- their issue is having been cast in the wrong gender role, not being born in the wrong body. For the vast majority of transgender people, counseling or gender therapy, and a change in lifestyle is enough to put the GD [mostly] to rest, and provide for a happy and satisfying life. I say "mostly" because nearly all trans folk (both types) can experience periods of [sometimes severe] GD, due to some triggering mechanism (being harassed because of who you are, for example, can trigger an episode of GD).

    It is important to note that being trans is NOT learned or acquired behavior. Being trans (or any other color in the LGBT+ rainbow, for that matter) is NOT a choice. We are all born with the sex, gender, and sexuality that define who we [really] are. We are born the way we are and can't change the way God made us.
    Based on that statement alone (assuming it is not an exaggeration), I would strongly recommend that you see a therapist, counselor, psychiatrist, or psychologist, with the aim of determining (from a medical standpoint) whether or not you suffer from GD (i.e., whether or not you are trans) and if so, whether your dysphoria includes body dysphoria, and I'd recommend that you do so soon. I hope that all this hasn't been too much to digest, all at one time (I do sometimes do that to people -- my apologies if I did it here).

    Hugs,
    Audry Leigh
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • List
  7. AudryLeigh
    Alone

    AudryLeigh tGirl and Karaoke junkie
    Moderator Supporter Beloved Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2016
    Messages:
    1,095
    Location:
    Somewhere Under the Rainbow
    Ratings:
    +1,296 / 0 / -20
    Hi Alice,

    To some degree this is personal preference, but also it can trigger some people: I really feel that the word "what" should not be used in reference to people. We are whos, not whats, and being referred to as a "what" is a trigger for some people. I know that always using "who" can sometimes feel grammatically clumsy, but so can using plural pronouns to refer to only one person. However, because it does trigger some people, I make every effort to avoid any reference to a person as "what'. In the case of what you said, I'd have just used "who" in both places -- to me, it would read the same.

    Also, I think what you said would usually be very good advice, but because homoismyhobby said that the feelings of dysphoria have been "driving me insane!" I saw a bit of a red flag there, which is why I recommended that she take some action, rather than just wait and see (her use of "insane" instead of "crazy" was the flag for me). I do realize that she is only 15, and that her statement may well have been an exaggeration, but I deal with a lot of suicidal kids here (in private, so it's not obvious just how many), many of whom are 15 or even younger, and many of whom are trans. Because I do deal with so many of them, I have a strong tendency to err on the side of caution. Still, what you said was basically quite good advice. You seem like an intelligent, thoughtful and caring person. I want to welcome you to our family here, and to thank you for having replied to this thread. I hope you find this to be a friendly and supportive place, and that you continue to be an active member.

    Also, I really like your avatar. the blue purse in an otherwise black and white image really makes it "pop".

    Hugs,
    Audry Leigh
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Informative Informative x 1
    • List
  8. AliceRhae
    Nerdy

    AliceRhae Curious Explorer
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2018
    Messages:
    48
    Location:
    Philadelphia
    Ratings:
    +38 / 0 / -0
    Good morning Audry Leigh,

    Thank you for providing me a more expansive perspective on the things homoismyhobby expressed. You've reminded me that I can be too simplistic sometimes, and that I need to learn to be more aware of what might be behind the post, and also remember that sometimes we can all wrestle with expressing the depth of our emotions.

    I am constantly working to achieve more precise language (it's what I study), and I know that I still grapple with translating my thoughts into words. Your experience with those who are troubled like homoismyhobby is an amazing resource for me to draw upon and learn from. :) 

    ~Alice
     
  9. SebAndGin
    Chatty

    SebAndGin Space Cowboy
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2017
    Messages:
    70
    Location:
    European son
    Ratings:
    +60 / 0 / -0
    And this is exactly what I love about this site. Neverending resources of ideas and thoughts served with kindness and lots of knowledge, so I can learn new things or / and new points of view. So, thanks, everybody! And good luck on your journey, homoismyhobby !
     
  10. homoismyhobby
    Amused

    homoismyhobby Greenhorn
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2018
    Messages:
    16
    Ratings:
    +11 / 0 / -0
    Thank you very much! These different ideas and opinions have definately helped
    --- Double Post Merged, Apr 16, 2018 at 12:02 PM ---
    Thank you Audrey! This was very informative and luckily it wasn't too much to digest! I'll definately use this to helprovide what I'm goig through, I'll speak with my schools therapost and see where that goes!
    --- Double Post Merged, Apr 16, 2018 at 12:03 PM ---
    T
    Thank you so much, you've really helped!
     
    #10 homoismyhobby, Apr 16, 2018 at 12:00 PM
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2018 at 12:03 PM

Support the site and hide ads for life for $5. Click here to donate.

Share This Page