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Transsexual Am I "Trans" enough?

Discussion in 'Transsexual' started by AudryLeigh, Jan 4, 2019.  |  Print Topic

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  1. AudryLeigh
    Curious

    AudryLeigh Proud tGirl
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    Hey guys 'n' dolls,

    I'm a transsexual woman. Been living 110% as a woman in the real world for 10 years, and have been on Hormone Therapy for 2 1/2 years. I'm happy with my transition, I am accepted and respected by everyone -- even strangers. It would seem like I have everything a transsexual could want, but there's one thing that keeps haunting me. It rarely happens, but being misgendered doesn't bother me, Being called by my dead name doesn't bother me. I never felt particularly hostile towards my body, or overly stressed by being in the wrong one. I had a happy, fulfilling life during which I accomplished many very worthwhile things. I actually influenced the course of world history -- I helped keep the cold war cold. My pre-transition life was very fulfilling, and I am very proud of the things I did. So I don't really want my dead name to be dead. I don't mind being associated with the person I used to be. I actually enjoy talking with someone who knew the old me, or attended one of my lectures or had some of my software. So, not only am I not trying to forget or bury my old life, I'm actually trying to keep it a little bit alive. I even tend to embrace the little bits of masculinity that are sill floating around in the deep dark recesses of who I am today. But (and here's the rub), all this makes me feel "different" from every other transsexual I know, IRL or on-line. I never experienced any of the pain, suffering, rejection, discrimination, or any of the negative stuff that it seems like every other transsexual had to endure, in order to just be themselves, so I feel like I lack one of the quintessential elements of being transsexual -- like a kid who graduated by cheating on a test.

    So what do y'all think? Can anyone relate to this? Am missing something essential to being able to properly relate to other transsexuals? Am I trans enough?

    Hugs,
    Audry Leigh
     
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  2. ConfusedButHappy
    Dreaming

    ConfusedButHappy Bi Closet Dweller
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    Hey! I have no experience related to being "trans" at all, but I guess I can relate on some level. I will however be walking on eggshells as it is a touchy subject.

    I was born in South Africa. I'm white. Certain hurdles that other South Africans faced were removed from my path because of this (and some added). My great grandparents cheated on the test for me. Even though my family isn't rich compared to my classmates, I'm still "privileged" in many ways.

    Now I don't know if we all have a need to victimize ourselves, so now I'm thinking "aaack, but everything is going well"... or if we feel guilty. Regardless, I feel like less of a South African sometimes (it certainly doesn't help that there are multiple political parties that want me out for being white).

    I won't pretend to know the answers. You're definitely much wiser and more experienced than I am. I can however say that since I was born in South Africa, I am South African. Nothing else matters. I don't need to pass a test or satisfy anyone else's criteria. It's who I am. Now I just ignore any feelings of inadequacy because I know the truth.

    + From a moral view, I see it as the responsibility of the privileged to share what they have or help empower those who have less.
    I don't have to be "trans" to tell you that you've definitely done your part for this community :) 
     
    #2 ConfusedButHappy, Jan 5, 2019
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2019
  3. Being.
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    Being. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    Audry, would anyone be less gay if they didn't go through discrimination? No.

    So you aren't any less for not having gone through struggles others have.

    It just means your privileged.

    Hugs grandma.
     
  4. Thespis
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    Thespis Blithe Spirit
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    I can only echo what the others have said, Audry. Spot on. You have nothing to prove to anyone - least of all yourself. :) 
     
  5. zen

    zen Curator, Royal Academy of Inappropriate Handshake
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    Oh Audrey, it means you are only matured and intelligent person who can accept who you are, and smart enough to notice that it's basically silly to distinguish people by their gender, a person is a person before a man or a woman, and the core part of a person is not defined by gender or appearance. You are sophisticated and achieved a lot so that you don't need to be dependent on being a woman or a man to feel pride in yourself.

    You really should feel very proud of who you were and who you are right now.
     
  6. Tights_and_Skirts

    Tights_and_Skirts Reliable Contributor
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    “A rose, by any other name would smell as sweet”

    You are just as trans as anyone else. Of course it’s terrible that they underwent discrimination, but that doesn’t make you any lesser. That’s like saying a runner with good genes is less an Olympian than someone with poor genes. Life threw a little luck your way - we both know it threw a hell of a lot of shit luck your way too. That’s what life is.

    As for keeping your old name alive, why wouldn’t you? You’re proud of who you were, and did great things. Now you’re someone a bit different, and still do great things. It makes sense.

    Chin up, hun, you’re beautiful xxxx
     
  7. AudryLeigh
    Curious

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    Thanks to all of you who replied.

    Hugs,
    Audry Leigh
     
  8. SwordArts

    SwordArts Well-Known Advisor
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    You are definitly trans (and female) enough.

    I can relate to the idea of not wanting everything from your past to go. I love sport and martial arts, I have won a lot of medals and trophies in them but almost all of them competing as female. Sometimes they are a painful reminder I may never be as successful competing with the men. But most of the time, I am still proud of those achievements. They might be something achieved under my birth name. But I still achieved them. And it just motivates me to add more but achieved as I am now.

    For you, all those things you did, you achieved, no matter what name is associated with them.

    So be proud of them. You are still trans enough.
     

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