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Am I gay?

Discussion in 'Gay' started by John star, Aug 11, 2017.  |  Print Topic

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  1. John star

    John star Dedicative Contributor
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    Okay so I would say that from the age of 12 or 13 i realized guys were not i got hard at nearly every guy I looked at i mean I never thought of girls i didn't find them attractive sexually even now I don't like it I just see boobs as flesh with a nipple i don't get why people for them hot and there vaginas i mean I've seen some in porn but they don't turn me i just look at them and they bore me but with a man's dick it gets bigger and harder and you can sit on it suck it i mean there's a lot you can do with a duck when it's 2 guys to get to the point im 18 now and I was wondering will i get bored of being gay and then straight i mean I still find men attractive and I want to be with guys but I just feel like my sexuality isn't a big part of me but what if I swap sides what if I stop liking guys? I mean I have never felt like straight guys do it's just all very hard now and is it weird for a gay guy to watch straight porn
     
  2. john1010101
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    john1010101 Dedicative Contributor
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    It's not weird for a gay guy to watch straight porn. Even some straight women like watching gay male porn. As to your sexuality, why is it a problem ? Is your family homophobic? Are you scared of someone finding out?
    As to deciding at your age as to what your 'real' sexuality is don't waste your time.
    Many men who are totally straight most of their lives turn gay in middle age and visa versa. The most important thing is being honest with yourself and with anyone you're involved with.
    I'm not sure what you exactly mean by 'my sexuality isnt' a big part of me' but I do think who you're attracted to shouldn't dictate every aspect of your character.
    Whatever you do don't go breaking any. females heart by using her as an experiment to see if straight sex works for you. OK, if you tell a girl that's what you need to find out you'll find a lot of them will be happy to 'assist' but do be out in the open.

    I have to confess I had to giggle at your typo " . . . .there's lots you can do with a duck....'. My imagination ran wild.
    Good luck and just be yourself without spending too much time worrying about where you put it.
    The other thing I find odd about your post is you don't mention falling in love with another man. By 18 the heart strings should have been tugged at least once.
     
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    #2 john1010101, Aug 11, 2017
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2017
  3. John star

    John star Dedicative Contributor
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    I am scared of turning or becoming straight and stop liking guys
     
  4. Zima Blue
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    Zima Blue Yea something inbetween. She/her.
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    But why? Is liking women such a bad thing?
     
  5. John star

    John star Dedicative Contributor
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    no but its not me i mean friends yeah but never sexual
     
  6. Nick Ficker
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    Nick Ficker HetaStuck
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    My brother told me a similar story. When he was a young teen he thought he was gay. When he was older, he decided to see what it felt like to be with a woman. Turns out he liked women a lot too (a bit more than men). It's okay to find out that you are actually bisexual or straight. There is nothing wrong with that and it is still you. You're still figuring yourself out and that's fine, there's no need to be scared of who you turn out to be.
     
  7. CitizenErased
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    CitizenErased I'm a slave to your games
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    John Star, I have seen a few of your threads now about what you are scared of becoming. You need to focus on what you are now. Let your natural instincts run their course. You can't chose whether your Gay or Straight or Bi or whatever. As for getting 'bored', I think that's the wrong phrase. I find it you might become too accustomed to your desires with men and may find yourself more lured towards a change, whatever it maybe, but your built-in instinct will still take you back to what you are. Some straight people try Gay things and vice-versa. It's called Curiosty and it's completely natural.
     
  8. john1010101
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    john1010101 Dedicative Contributor
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    I can understand this fear from a rather unusual perspective. My generation were confronted with being very much outside of respectable society, to such and extent we often found ourselves in sympathy with all manner of outsider groups such as artists, academic philosophers, 'beatnicks'( goggle it)poets, musicians, bikies etc. I had an absolute terror of ending up in a suburban home with the usual white picket fence, a mortgage and all the 'normal' trappings.
    Turns out I'm now finding there's a younger generation of gay men who are utterly obsessed with being as 'normal' as possible going so far as to want full on conservative church weddings with all the usual expensive middle class trappings along with a fear and loathing of any behavior they regard has 'camp'. Boring, boring , boring.
     
    #8 john1010101, Aug 11, 2017
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2017
  9. angel70
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    angel70 The Old Guy
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    I'm glad to see you're not currently obsessing about the possibility of lusting after barnyard animals or some of your usual silliness -- you're making real progress, I guess! Keep up the good work!

    Have you gotten any professional help with the OCD, or are you working at it on your own?
     
  10. John star

    John star Dedicative Contributor
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    i am doing both im going to see a therapist 2 times a week and im not taking any medication which i think is good and thank you for asking.

    okay so wait would you say because im 18 and nearly ended puberty i wont change or develope feelings for women because i have never found them sexually attractive but will that suddenly start or develop
     
  11. Zima Blue
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    Zima Blue Yea something inbetween. She/her.
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    I have been following your writings on this site, and we have over 100 pm´s between us, but i must say it seems like you are running around in cirkels, getting nowhere fast. You keep obsessing about the strangest things.
    No matter how people try to explain things to you, it seems like you just dont get it. And the level of teenage angst in you, are by far the most severe ive ever come across.
    So im thinking: Have anyone ever given you any diagnosis? Has anyone ever checked your iq/maturety level? Do you have any friends? If yes, are they the same age as you are?
    Im not trying to be rude here. Im simply at my wits end as to how to help and support you.
     
  12. angel70
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    angel70 The Old Guy
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    I'm very glad you're getting help, and also glad you're doing it without medication!

    It's close to impossible you'd suddenly start being attracted to women at this point in your life, but if you did, so what? That would mean you'd enjoy them! If you got really lucky, you'd turn bisexual, and become twice as popular!

    None of that's going to happen, though. You're gay all the way.
     
  13. John star

    John star Dedicative Contributor
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    thank you you have been a big help and sorry i know we have had other discussions and you probobaly sick of me but i appreciate it but you sort of got me worried a little by saying but if you did, so what? but then you say None of that's going to happen, though. You're gay all the way. so your kind of giving me mix messages
     
  14. angel70
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    angel70 The Old Guy
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    Actually, I think you're about as likely to turn straight as my dog is to turn into a bald eagle, and he's definitely not growing feathers!
     
  15. John star

    John star Dedicative Contributor
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  16. Zima Blue
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    And so fking what? Its not dangerous to like women. Or being bisexual.
     
  17. John star

    John star Dedicative Contributor
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    WOAH YOU NEED TO CHILL SERIOUSLY HOW IS THIS OFFENDING YOU?
     
  18. Zima Blue
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    Just sounds like you got some kind of phopia against women. And your running around chasing your own tail and getting scared of your own shadow. As amusing as that can be, it gets old real quick.
     
  19. John star

    John star Dedicative Contributor
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    wow i thought people on here were supposed to be helpful and supportive and yet your attacking me its like saying why did you change gender did you hate being a man that much
     
  20. Zima Blue
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    Zima Blue Yea something inbetween. She/her.
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    Your comparing apples and pares. Me getting tired of you, got to do with the fact that you dont listen to anyone. Not me or anyone else. You go on asking the same fking questions and repeating the same things over and over again.
    And i cant see what me hating to be male got anything to do with that. You know i dont hate other men, so what are you on about?
     

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