1. Like the site? Help us keep it running! For $5 you can help keep the site running smoothly and disable ads for life. The site is funded by donations like this and minimal ad revenue: Click here to donate $5. Thank you!

Am I gay? If so how do I tell my mum?

Discussion in 'Gay' started by Sox, Mar 13, 2018.  |  Print Topic

Support the site and hide ads for life for $5. Click here to donate.

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 4 users.
  1. Sox

    Sox Hot Cookie
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2017
    Messages:
    29
    Ratings:
    +2 / 0 / -0
    Hi,
    A while ago I wasn’t sure if I was bi or bi-curios. But between then and now I have dated, sort of. I went on a couple of dates with girls but they never seemed to be like I thought, as soon as conversations started I just lost interest in them even though I thought I liked them. Then I had a couple of ’dates’ with this guy. When I say dates I mean we met and talked and did hobbies together. But that time spent together felt so much more real and amazing than I thought and better than the idea of anyone else. I fell in love and before we had even done anything more than hold hands, but after we kissed he said he didn’t feel it anymore so we broke up.
    After a bit I started to think and look at men so much more and pretty much lost interest in women ‘that way’. I mean I have a bestie who I love, but in the friendship way. After that I started to think that I may be gay. I was looking for someone just to say something or ask me something that could help me.
    My mum isn’t religious but she always talks about dating me dating girls and grandchildren. I don’t lie to her, I’ve always said I didn’t have a crush on a girl or I’m not dating girls, and I want children. I just don’t know what she’s going to be like when I tell her that I like dating guys.
     
  2. Sox

    Sox Hot Cookie
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2017
    Messages:
    29
    Ratings:
    +2 / 0 / -0
    All I need is just some advice please.
     
  3. LGBT._.Support

    Guest

    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    Well it seems you've got the sexuality problem out of the way; Sounds to me you do have a preference for males, and from my perspective, it sounds like you mother would accept you of course! But if you're not ready yet; then that's okay! You've got all the time in the world! Just be comfortable with who you are.
     
  4. Sox

    Sox Hot Cookie
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2017
    Messages:
    29
    Ratings:
    +2 / 0 / -0
    I’m a lot more comfortable with my sexuality then I used to be, but I want to tell my mothee
     
  5. LGBT._.Support

    Guest

    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    well if you don't want to tell her in person, tell her in a note or text maybe? It's easier to tell people when you can't read their reactions straight away.
     
  6. Sox

    Sox Hot Cookie
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2017
    Messages:
    29
    Ratings:
    +2 / 0 / -0
    That’s a good idea thank you
     
  7. LGBT._.Support

    Guest

    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    No problem! Glad to help! :) 
     
  8. angel70
    Supportive

    angel70 The Old Guy
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2016
    Messages:
    4,375
    Location:
    GrtrNY
    Ratings:
    +3,997 / 1 / -29
    When we're young, boys and girls have so few interactions that they often have a hard time relating to each other when they're older -- so any difficulties you've had interacting socially with girls might be because you seem to have nothing much in common. Sexuality, though, is about sex -- so your masturbatory fantasies are a much better indicator than your degree of social comfort or discomfort with the sexes.

    Assuming, though, that you are gay, here's what to expect when you tell your mother: unless she's a firm believer in some intolerant religion, she'll accept you, and she won't love you any less. She may be in denial for a while, but she'll get over that. She'll be sad because she'll anticipate that your life will be more difficult than if you were straight -- but all of us make our parents sad from time to time, for one reason or another, and their love carries them through. Some actually become quite militant in support of LGBT rights!

    One way to open a conversation is with a question: "Would you still love me if I were gay?" The automatic answer is, "Of course I would!" It's only after they answer that they stop to think about what you just asked -- but they get the idea right away, and the conversation can proceed from there. If you're still young, you might get the "It's just a phase" response (denial) -- but when the "phase" just goes on and on, they make the adjustment. A few even may come up with "a nice boy" they'd like you to meet! ;) 

    Parental love is amazingly strong, and you can count on it.
     
  9. Sox

    Sox Hot Cookie
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2017
    Messages:
    29
    Ratings:
    +2 / 0 / -0
    If I use my masturbatory fantasies then I’m pretty sure I’m gay still. But I do have a lot in common with guys and girls, I just seem to click and get people very easily.
     
  10. angel70
    Supportive

    angel70 The Old Guy
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2016
    Messages:
    4,375
    Location:
    GrtrNY
    Ratings:
    +3,997 / 1 / -29
    That's a really positive characteristic -- it's great to have all different sorts of friends (and comes in very handy if you want to run for office), but which of them do you want as sex partners?

    You could be bisexual, but even then you'd probably have a preference for one sex over the other.
     
  11. Sox

    Sox Hot Cookie
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2017
    Messages:
    29
    Ratings:
    +2 / 0 / -0
    My sex preference has never changed, which is weird and should have been my fist sign.
     
  12. Sox

    Sox Hot Cookie
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2017
    Messages:
    29
    Ratings:
    +2 / 0 / -0
    I finally told my mum, she said it didn’t matter who I liked as long as I was happy. But she says she already knew, so we laughed for ages, I honestly didn’t think I came off gay
     
  13. Spob
    Apelike

    Spob Expert Homosexual
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2018
    Messages:
    74
    Location:
    UK
    Ratings:
    +52 / 1 / -0
    Congradulations. It’s very nice to hear she is there for you.
     
  14. liamthomas891
    Fine

    liamthomas891 Hivesark
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2017
    Messages:
    43
    Ratings:
    +29 / 0 / -0
    Congratulations! I’m glad your mom knows. It really makes hanging out easier when you don’t feel like you’re hiding anything.
     

Support the site and hide ads for life for $5. Click here to donate.

Share This Page