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Advice

Discussion in 'Questioning & General LGBT' started by Lemonica Johnson, Jan 7, 2017.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Lemonica Johnson

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    First Off I'm Lesbian 17 I'll Be 18 Very Soon, Tired Of Hiding Who I Am, Ready To Start Dating Again, Still Trying To Figure Out How Tell Everyone Because I Know Many Will Disapprove Though I Wouldn't Care,.
     
  2. angel70
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    angel70 The Old Guy
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    Start by telling a few people you trust, and who are likely to be accepting. (It wouldn't hurt if any knew some other lesbians you might like to meet.;) )

    Once you have acceptance from some, it's easier to tell others -- it's like having a team behind you. When the Many Who Will Disapprove begin to hear the news, you'll have friends to fall back on.

    Coming out all at once, to everybody, works for some people -- but most find it easier (and sometimes safer) if it's done in stages. If you live in a conservative area, a few people at a time is best.
     
  3. Lemonica Johnson

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    Makes A lot of Sense Thanks :) 
     
  4. kanah
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    kanah Greenhorn

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    If there is anyone who you're worried about telling because maybe you're really close to them i would start by bringing up the subject of LGBT+ people in a way that doesn't directly imply that you're gay to see how they feel before telling them.
     
  5. Tranquility
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    Tranquility Pretty Notable
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    Make some determinations about your parents. First, do you trust them as people? Second, are they hostile in their views toward gay people, or are they, contrary to that, vocally supportive?

    If your parents aren't rainbowski sorts of people at all, attend the United Church of Michele Bachmann, and think gay rights are the work of the devil, then you ought to start by hedging up support in your community. Teachers, classmates, coworkers, and anyone in your life who comes across as trustworthy is a good place to start. Just tell them honestly and undramatically what your issues and concerns are. When the time comes to talk about it with your family, this gives you a source of advocacy and also a back-up support structure in case you needed it. That is just elementary survival if you know your family is undependable. All conservatives are bullies, and all bullies are cowards. Having people on your side makes you much stronger.

    Some people come from very liberal families but live in relatively hostile communities, and a handful of LGBT depend first and foremost on family. My husband was one such person. He grew up in a Cuban immigrant community that was not always the most accepting, but his mother had been cavorting with gay boys since she was three years old and actually hanged out at the same gay bars he did. And drank martinis.

    Most people will be somewhere in the middle, and they might tell a few friends first and one family member before they just stop making it a secret. If your family is basically just politically moderate and easygoing, you can usually talk about this sort of thing, but it can help you build confidence and a sense of security to talk to friends and neighbors first. This is really par for the course in much of the US.

    Considering what your specific situation is should be your first move.
     
    #5 Tranquility, Jan 11, 2017
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2017

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